Rydellington Oneshots (Discontinued)

This Is Gospel

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicidal tendencies, suicide wishes, detailed suicide attempt, sad ending

Based on my favorite lyric from This Is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco

I should probably get this going before I break out into song

"If you love me let me go, 'cause these words are knives and often leave scars, the fear of falling apart."

"Rydel, I'm not going to let you kill yourself."

"If you love me let me go, Ellington."

***

Rydel just wanted to be dead. How couldn't Ellington understand that? When you're in love, you're supposed to support someone through all of their decision and let them know your view, but you're not supposed to stop them from doing something they have passion about. Even if it was committing suicide. Though, that was just Rydel's opinion.

She remembered when he first found out about her suicidal tendencies.

She was finally filling her desire. It was like a paper cut, but so much better. Rydel hated writing songs on paper because she always managed to get paper cuts, which made her suicidal desires worse. To finally be able to cut her skin with a blade was bliss.

Sliding the small piece of metal across her pale wrist, she sighed in relief. Finally. It had been so long. Blood slowly seeped from the cuts, red droplets dotting the white tile and creating what seemed like a small pattern. If this wasn't so tragic, it would be a beautiful picture. A small, pale, broken girl sliding a beautifully blood tattered blade across her wrists, creating scars that would stay there forever as blood leaked onto the floor. If only she was an artist. It would be a beautifully tragic picture.

She wasn't sure if she enjoyed the pain or the artwork it created. Both were pleasing. She deserved the pain. She didn't deserve the beauty it created. She was probably the only one who viewed the blood splatters as beautiful. After a while, she loses feeling. All she can see is the beauty.

This time, though, she was never able to lose the feeling. Because someone was beating on the door. Ellington.

"Rydel? Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine." She hated that he could tell when she was lying. He had always been able to. She couldn't help her stutter. Or the way her voice cracked. You'd think she'd be good at lying since she was an actress. She would never get lost in hurting herself that day.

"Rydel, open the door." Ellington said calmly. She couldn't do it, but she also couldn't continue.

"Haven't you ever heard of closing the goddamn door..." Rydel mumbles, unlocking the door without bothering to clean her wrists- Shit. It was too late now.

"Ryd- Oh my god Rydel! Why would you do that to yourself?!" He exclaims, keeping quiet so her brothers wouldn't come to check on them.

Rydel shrugs her shoulders as Ellington wets a rag, gently rubbing the blood off of her wrist.

"I want to die, that's why."

Ellington Ratliff "proved his love" for Rydel Lynch on August 9th, 2015 when he wasn't able to stop her from committing suicide. She was pronounced dead at the scene. He finally had let her go, even if it wasn't on purpose.

a/n: p!atd is life. that is all. i feel as if i should now write a oneshot about emperors new clothes so it can be a sequel like the music videos. also i kinda want to write a oneshot based on the song lovely by twenty øne piløts. or anathema. maybe slowtown. opinions? theyre older songs but have good lyrics. regional at best has really good songs on it. highly recommend it