Rydellington Oneshots (Discontinued)

Migraine

Based on the song Migraine by twenty one pilots. 

This is one of my favorite songs, and I couldn't help myself.

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide (the entire song is about suicidal thoughts and suicide in general so you've been warned)

Am I the only one I know? Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat. Shadows will scream that I'm alone...

Even the shadows seemed to taunt the fact that she had no friends. That she was just a loner who was going to die alone. Her problems weren't valid.They were dumb and wouldn't matter in the future. She just had to hide them, and maybe the shadows, along with everyone else, would stop judging her.

I-I-I-I've got a migraine, and my pain will range from up down and sideways. Thank God it's Friday 'cause Fridays will always be better than Sunday's 'cause Sunday's are my suicide days.

She was happiest on the days that she wasn't feeling suicidal. The suicidal thoughts swarming her head always seemed to give her a migraine, which her mother always told her to brush off (A/N migraines can be a serious thing so don't just brush them off as if they're nothing okay? take medication or sleep or do whatever you can to help it stop. take good care of yourselves friends, i care about you. you're worth being taken care of. all of you xx).

I don't know why they always seem so dismal, thunderstorms, clouds, snow and a slight drizzle. Whether it's the weather or the letters by my bed, sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head.

Sometimes, she felt like dying. But somehow, he always stopped her from letting it happen. He always stopped her death from coming. Whether it be by accident or on purpose, it was always him. He always told her the same thing; Your life is meant to be lived, Rydel. Whether it be by fate or coincidence, this obviously shows you were meant to live another day.

Let it be said what the headache represents; it's me defending in suspense. It's me suspended in a defenseless test, being tested by a ruthless examinant that's represented best by my depressing thoughts.

She always got headaches, and she knew they weren't from stress; why couldn't she stop the bad thoughts? Why couldn't someone else have demons instead of her? They were always nagging her, telling her to do horrible things that she knew wouldn't help. But when they wouldn't stop bothering, what could you do aside from giving in?

I do not have writer's block, my writer just hates the clock. It will not let me sleep. I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead, and sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head.

She hated that she only had her best thoughts when she was meant to be sleeping. She hated that her insomnia caused her to lose so much sleep and kept her constantly exhausted. She hated the headaches caused by her demons and the insomnia combined. She hated that she'd rather be dead instead of going through these things. She hated how weak she was.

Am I the only one I know? Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat. Shadows will scream that I'm alone, but I know we've made it this far, kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She had so many problems and she knew it. But she knew she had one things to be proud of, one thing he always reminded her of; she had made it this far. She could make it even farther if she tried.

I am not as fine as I seem, pardon me for yelling.

She had the facade she put on for her family. Her fake happiness. But she knew it had to be done if she didn't want to upset her family, or ruin their relationship.

I'm telling you green gardens are not what's growing in my psyche it's a different me.

She hated that she was creating a new version of herself that would one day break out; a fake version who would convince everyone she was happy, even though she was nowhere close.

A difficult beast feasting on burnt down trees. Freeze frame. Please, let me paint a mental picture portrait. Something you won't forget, it's all about my forehead, and how it is a box that holds back contents. That make Pandora's Box's contents look non-violent.

Her mind was a mess. Who knew how much was actually going on just behind her forehead? Metaphorically, she would consider it a box. It was full of such violent contents, she wasn't sure where all of it came from. She was becoming a beast who grew from dead things; or, a fake monster who found confidence in other people's failure. She hated it so much.

Behind my eyelids are islands of violence. My mind's shipwrecked. This is the only land my mind could find. I did not know it was such a violent island, full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions. They're trying to eat me, blood running down their chins, and I know that I can fight or I can let the lions win. I begin to assemble what weapons I can find,

Her head was full of horrible things. Thoughts she couldn't prevent. She had to grasp onto what little amount of positive thoughts she had. Her mind had started out full of happy thoughts, or as a happily sailing ship. Something along the way had caused the ship to wreck, or her mind to fill with bad thoughts. Now she did what she could to grasp onto the small happy thoughts. But her demons are always hiding somewhere. But she had to put up her defenses. Rydel Lynch loved Ellington Ratliff, and that was for this reason; he always told her to fight away or ignore the thoughts. It would help her to live another day. He helped her through, and for that she was grateful.

'Cause sometimes to stay alive you've got to kill your mind.

~~

That last lyric is one of my favorite quotes because of how true it is. I just absolutely love this song in general. TØP is an amazing band, and Tyler Joseph is a phenomenal songwriter. I hope you enjoyed and that I have introduced you to a new song. Even if you're not a fan of rap, try it out. twenty one pilots are emo, not rap. After all, "this is not rap, this is not hip hop, just another attempt to make the voices stop" I just believe t is an overall inspiring song that I highly recommend.

I had to stop myself fro making so many song references throughout this, and for that I apologize.

Stay Alive |-/

Note: This is my interpretation of the song. I'm not saying it's what the song actually means, because there's a possibility I'm wrong. Everyone has their own interpretation of things, and there's nothing wrong with that. And if you don't relate or like the song, that's okay too. You're allowed an opinion. After all, "these lyrics aren't for everyone, only few understand"