Chocolate

Twenty Six

Okay, I lied about the cover.
-

Camila delicately traced her sister's name carved on the marble with the tip of her fingers, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes but she had refused to let it. Today wasn't any other day that she was having, it was her 16th birthday after all. Though, she would be celebrating it the exact same celebration she had since the tragic that had happened two years ago- going three; which was waking up early in the morning before everyone does and immediately goes to the cemetery with nothing but her clothes and phone. Then, she'll walk back home once 12 hits on the digital time on her phone. Of course, on the middle of it, she'll quickly buy a few snacks in the stores close to the cemetery that would be enough for her for the rest of the day. She was pretty sure her parents knew by now where she had been to due to her last birthday, she felt a bit guilty for making them worry but she didn't want to think much about it anymore nor did she ever regret it.

She wasn't happy, nor was she sad. She couldn't really describe how she felt right now and she didn't really have to explain it, she just wanted to lay here all day and talk to her sister — which was what she would exactly be doing instead of happily celebrating the day that she was born. This was one of her ways of making it up for her sister since she hadn't been visiting her for awhile now and she didn't want to make her feel, where ever she was right now, that Camila had ever forgotten about her because she hadn't. Not at all. Good or bad, she hadn't.

"Why did you have to leave me, sof?" Camila whispered, sighing sadly and placing her water bottle beside her as she read the words repeatedly in front of her. Up until now, she still couldn't believe her sister was permanently gone at such a very quick amount of time. 7 years wasn't enough for her to be with her sister and it will never be. What made her more furious, especially towards the driver, was that her sister never got to experience millions of things that should be experienced by a lot of people. Camila would never get to experience a lot of things with her now that she wasn't here; she couldn't share her secrets with her like a sister would, she could never see her walk on stage on her graduation, she could never see her sister finally being able to ride a bike on her own, Camila could never fulfill her promise of taking her to Disney world, to see her favorite princesses—something that Sofi had always been looking forward to.

There were a million reasons but Most of all, the fact that Camila couldn't be able to watch her grow up angers her in every way possible. She hated it, the fact that Sofi couldn't experience all of these just because of one tragic accident. The accident that destroyed her and her sister. Because of one selfish person.

"You don't deserve this." Camila breathes out, wiping the unexpected tears that had trickled down onto her cheeks with the back of her palm. "If I had the choice, I would gladly take your place because I know that you'll go farther than I ever will but it's just impossible. Then again, I know also you don't want that and I don't want you to experience what I'm experiencing right now either. If only I would have just died with you, things would have been easier. I won't have to go through this but..."

"I met someone. Maybe you already know that, she's really pretty isn't she?" Camila unconsciously smiled as images of Lauren flashed through her mind, repositioning herself so she was lying on her stomach despite the uncomfortable position. "You know, sometimes I wonder if you could see me right now up there. Can you hear me or am I just talking to myself? Either way, is heaven as beautiful as people make it out to be? I feel like maybe it's more than that and someday I'll find out, maybe not sooner. Well, that's if I'll go to heaven anyways." Camila chuckled to herself, not giving a care in the world If people identify her as an insane person. Today was different, it definitely was.