Something Worth Living For

Chapter 4. New Emotions

He looked at me for a while, and then back forward at the t.v. as he took another hit of his blunt. I just stayed quiet waitin on him to flip out espcially after the way he just acted towards L. The anticipation of his response was killing me so I spoke before he did.

Yatta: So...
Quan: So what?
Yatta: U dont have nothin to say?
Quan: What u want me to say.."Ahhh u a f***g dont touch me"(he said in a high pitched voice)
Yatta: Im serious Quan!(i said tryin not to laugh as I punched his arm)
Quan: Lil bit I dont care fam. Im gone always be koo wit u cuz u one of the realest niggas I know, and I respect u for that s***t. I dont get down like that though so dont kiss me again real s***t.(he said wit a serious face)
Yatta: So u really dont care then?
Quan: Nah, I mean why should I u grown as hell. It aint like u in love wit me or u like me or no s***t like that so we koo. U not in love wit me right?(he said lookin into my eyes)

I just looked at him for a while thinkin if I should tell him the truth or not. Honestly I didnt really know the answer to that question my damn self, but I answered before I f***ked up any further.

Yatta: No.(i said twistin up my face)
Quan: Iight then we good.

The week had come, and gone in the blink of an eye. Quan stuck to his word because he never acted different towards me, and we were around eachother damn near every day all day. I swear this dude is always here for me no matter what. Then the fact that he so damn fine is a plus...wait...stop yatta dont do that. Kwantae been actin kinda funny towards me lately though ever since I started hangin wit Quan. I mean not that I care, but I kinda miss him being his normal goofy self all the time. I was gettin ready to go to my first class, and as soon as I walked out my room he was in the kitchen wit nothin but boxers on. I froze for a second at the beautiful sight in front of me, and damn was it breath taking. I knew he had a body, but lord have mercy I aint know he had one like that. This dude was so toned, and had the sexiest happy trail lined up goin to his v-cut and big d***k print. I snapped my self outta my trance before he noticed me staring.

Yatta: Goodmornin.

He looked at me for a second then opened the frig to grab some milk for his cereal without sayin a word.

Yatta: Dude what is yo problem why u got this bad ass attitude wit me like I did something to u?
Tae: Aint nobody got no attitude wit u. Im just doin what u wanted me to do, and thats leave u alone.
Yatta: Yea as in stop hittin on me not talkin to me all together I mean damn.
Tae: Im suprised u even noticed as much as yo head be up ole dude ass all the time.
Yatta: Quan!? Thats my friend from back home, and why are u actin so damn jealous? We werent and never have been "talkin" for u to be actin like this.
Tae: Yea but I did like yo ass, and u blew me off once his ass started comin around.
Yatta: He's not even gay!
Tae: That make the s***t even worse! U walkin around here fallin in love wit a nigga that dont even look at u like that, but u wont even give me the time of day...wit yo stuck up ass!
Yatta: STUCK UP!?! Nigga just because I dont wanna talk to yo ass dont make me stuck up!!...And aint nobody in love wit him.
Tae: Yea whatever.(he said walkin away)
Yatta: So all this time thats why u been actin so funny, and not being yo self.
Tae: How the f***k would u know how I normally act?(he said turnin to look at me)
Yatta: I know u dont normally be walkin around here actin like a lil B***H!!(i said stressin the word b***h)

He put his bowl down, and walked towards me until he was in my face. I swear I didnt try too, but I could smell his axe body wash. That intoxicatin scent mixed wit him being in nothin but some boxers turned me on a lil. I had to force my self back out of my trance yet again so I could have a smart remark for whatever it is he was about to say.

Tae: U dont know s***t about me because u wont let me show u. U too damn busy living in a dream wit that weak ass nigga instead lettin me show u what its really like. The road u goin down only gone get yo heart broke...trust me...I know. Its good to know that u care enough to argue wit me though.(he smiled)

I dont believe it. This nigga had me speechless still tryna process everything he just said. He turned back around pickin up his cereal, and then turned back around to me.

Tae: Dont be lookin at my ass either.(he said goin back to his room)

I looked down anyway and he had a nice lil booty that jiggled in his boxers. I noticed he stopped so I looked up to see him cheesin watchin me watch him.

Yatta: Before u say somethin smart I wasnt look at yo ass I thought I saw a mouse.
Tae: A WHAT!?(he shouted Lookin around almost droppin his bowl)

I hurried up to leave out the door laughin at his goofy ass. On the walk to my class I couldnt help but to think about what he said though. I know me and Quan are spendin a lot of time together, but its no different then how we use to be in highschool. Theres no way im fallin for him besides he made it clear that he wasnt gay, and I wouldnt set my self up like that. The closer I got to my class I saw Quan, and L standin at the entrance. For those who are wonderin yea they made up, but this s***t happens a lot. They always fought, and made up even back in highschool. Thats another reason why people thought they were brothers. They both spotted me at the same time L givin me a head nod, and Quan wrappin his arm around my neck walkin by my side.

Quan: Wussup lil bit?(he smiled)
Yatta: I was just about to ask u the same thing. What yall doin here?
Quan: What do college student come to class for genius.(he laughed)
Yatta: F***k u.(i said pushin him off me)

We laughed, but I stopped when I saw this really pretty dark skinned pregnant girl wit a short cut woddle up to him and he hugged her. He turned to me and walked towards me with her on his arm.

Quan: Yatta this my girl Jeniece.(he said kissin her forehead)
Jeniece: Hi, nice to finally meet u because he talks about u all the time.(she smiled)

I tried to smiled back but my face wouldnt let me do it. I was feeling this gut feeling that i've never experienced before..Jealousy. The fact that he called me my nickname instead of "lil bit", and then the way he kissed her just made me sick to my stomach. I guessin my face betrayed my thoughts because she started to look from me to Quan with concern on her face so I responded to kill the awkwardness.

Yatta: Um yea..Nice to meet u too.(i said wit a expressionless face)

They walked in the class together as I watched then feelin like my mother had died all over again. Then I realized in that moment what Kwantae said might be true..Am in love wit Quan. I started to walk into the classroom when L grabbed my arm causin me to snatch away on reflex.

L: Man come on Yatta u still mad at me I just wanna talk.
Yatta: We aint got s***t to talk about L.
L: All I wanted to say is im sorry for what I did in the past. I was just confused about a lot of s***t back then, but im not no more yo. It turned out that the baby wasnt even mine anyway.
Yatta: What a lucky baby.(i said walkin off but he grabbed me again)
L: Yatta man just listen. I still love u bae, and im sorry. I know it was two years ago, but I havent been able to even date nobody since we broke up. All I could ever think about was u, and how u were doin. Then when I saw u at the field last week, its like my heart came back to life. I missed u Kenny, and im sorry I hurt u.(he said pullin me close to him by my waist)

I looked at him for a second then burst into laughter causin him to back away from me.

Yatta: U...Hurt me...Nigga please. Save all that bulls***t for whatever dumbass u running that same tired ass game on. I didnt shed a tear or even care when we broke up because I had bigger s***t goin on in my life. S***t that u always seemed too busy to f***kin care about, and now all of a sudden u love me. Get the f***k out of my way before u make me late for class.(i said pushin past him leavin him speechless)

I walked into the classroom and sat in the back row watchin Quan all hugged up wit that b***h. I know I told my self that I wouldnt catch feelings for him, but obviously I didnt do such a good job. I started to feel alone again watchin him be wit her, and lookin so happy. I always wondered why I could never be the one sittin somewhere all boo'd up, and not miserable for once. Just when I was gettin deep in thought Kwantae's sister Lora sat next to me.

Lora: Hey cutie I didnt know u had this class.
Yatta: Yea I tested out of all my pre-recs so I got all my main class this year instead of next year.
Lora: Damn so u must be pretty smart then huh?
Yatta: I guess u could say that.

Truth is I never really had a social life so what else was there to do but study. The rest of class went by wit this b***h talkin my ear off. I damn near ran out of the class until I heard Quan callin my name. As much as I wanted to turn around and talk to him I couldnt face him now.