Letting love in (GTop)

Things left unsaid

~Jiyong~

I awoke to light streaming into the room, bright blissful rays of sunlight flooding in through the glass doors and windows, bathing every surface in a glittery gold. Normally I would be annoyed that we forgot to close the curtains, but once I realized where I am and what this morning is, I can't help the peaceful and even delighted smile that stretches across my face.

Rolling over in bed, I find Seung's back to me, not a stretch of clothing to be found across it. His beautiful tan skin greets me pleasantly and I don't even try to resist the urge to reach out and touch it. My palm slides down the smooth, muscular expanse of his shoulder blades, causing him to shift slightly in his sleep.

I chuckle at his adorableness and slide closer to him, leaning in to press a small kiss on the center of his upper back. He moans softly, almost sounding content like, before rolling over to face me, his bleary, and freshly woken up eyes greeting me with adoration.

"Good morning, baby" he smiles at me, and for a second I'm caught by how much love his smile holds "how did you sleep?"

I return his smile shyly and reach up, caressing his cheek in my hand "better than I have in a long time, Seung"

His returning grin is nothing short of perfection, and I wish I could take a picture, but I don't dare to grab my phone, because some moments are just meant to be memories.

"How are you feeling after...after last night?" he asks, a slight nervousness seeping into his voice.

"After we had sex?" I prompt bluntly, and he cringes slightly "Accept it Seung. I don't regret anything and our first time was absolutely amazing, I never knew it could feel that good"

He blushes, but I know pride when I see it "it was kind of great, wasn't it?"

I chuckle and nod "yes, I'm very happy"

Seung leans forward and pulls me into a slow, but meaningful kiss, and I know he feels the same. Last night was one of the greatest nights of my life, and I know it's just the beginning of many.

The best part is that I know I can do this, that I can have this. I always had this unspoken fear in the back of my mind that I would never be able to have a normal relationship, that I'd crumble every time someone touched me, every time someone told me they loved me and I couldn't say it back. I was prepared to live my life alone, and back before I knew better, I was content to be so.

I never thought I needed love, I never thought that I'd crave someone's touch or someone's kiss like it's the only thing that will keep me alive. Then Seung came into my life and showed me everything I never knew I wanted and gave it to me. I know I can never go back, I'll always need Seung, crave him, and only him.

Seung showed me what it feels like not to be alone and showed me that it's ok to not want to be. He helped me accept love and showed me true happiness. Nothing I ever do will be good enough to thank him for what he's done for me, for how he saved me, but I'll give him my love and fill his life with as much happiness as he's filled mine with and hope it's enough for him.

"I love you so much, Ji" Seung says, brushing hair off my forehead "I never knew I could love someone this much"

I smile, delighted by his words, and hide my face against his chest once my cheeks start to burn "I love you too, I thank the universe every day for sending you to me"

"They sent us to each other" he chuckles lightly, pulling my chin up and looking in my eyes, then places a butterfly kiss on my nose "the universe stood back and said 'see those two lost souls, the one's that think they are broken and don't deserve to be loved? I'm going to show them the truth, I'm going to make them soul mates and prove to them they are not in fact broken, just bruised, and that their love will transcend everything I'm about to throw at them... yes, together they will be unstoppable and my most perfect creation. They'll see this through each other and not only learn to love one another, but they will learn to love themselves as well' ...it's kind of beautiful if you think about it" he says, finishing his little story.