Letting love in (GTop)

We all have demons

~Jiyong~

"You want to do what?" I ask trying to figure out if I heard him right.

"I want to take you out on a date" Seunghyun says cocking his head to the side, and plastering on that stupid secret smile of his. Honestly, one of these days I'm going to slap that off his face.

"A date? Why?" I ask truly confused, we had just arrived last night, we were so tired I didn't even get to properly meet Seung's grandmother "We just got to Busan, shouldn't we... I don't know, go sight seeing or something, not wast time on going on a date?"

Seunghyun laughs like I am speaking absurdities "because I'm your boyfriend and I want to take you out for a nice evening... am I not allowed to do that? And there isn't a set schedule of what we have to do while we're here"

I shrug, kind of seeing his point, but still not understanding why it's important "I'm just not really a date type of person, a romantic evening to me is curled up in a blanket watching drama's, and eating junk food"

Seunghyun chuckles "honestly that sounds amazing baby, but I would like to have at least one date in my lifetime and I figured since we're here in my home town, it'll be fun"

I stop, catching a few keywords and turn to him "have never been on a date before?"

Seunghyun winces realizing what he just revealed and hangs his head "no, I've never really had any relationships where it was a simple, "let's go out" type of thing"

"Really? I figured everyone has at least been on one date in their lifetime" I pick out a shirt to wear today along with my toiletry bag about to head to the bathroom, when I realize Seunghyun's eyes are gazing into me, hard.

I look up, raising my eyebrows "what?"

His eyes are piercing when they lock with mine "Have you been on a date before?"

"yes" I laugh, shifting my weight to my other foot sensing I may not get to the bathroom for a few more minutes.

He swallows hard "but I thought that I'm the only person you've ever been attracted to"

I sigh "you are, I wasn't attracted to him, but I wasn't disgusted by him either. We were friends who decided to go out on a nice date together, no big deal" I look at him and see a hardness in his eyes that tells me that he doesn't feel the same "it was over a year ago, we decided to stay friends, seriously nothing to get jealous over"

He crosses his arms over his chest "who was it?"

I roll my eyes "Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question, you know you're only going to torture yourself with that knowledge"

"Yes I want to know, Ji" Seunghyun raises his voice slightly.

I lock my jaw and my eyes narrow "im not telling you till you calm down, I can handle you being jealous, but you getting pissed over something that meant nothing is unacceptable"

Seunghyun takes a deep breath and looks away from me, looking a bit like a kid who just got scolded "I'm sorry" he finally says after a few beats "it's just the thought of you with anyone but me makes me feel so angry, and a little scared I guess"

I cock my head to one side "why scared?"

"Ji, come on, do you really not realize that you can have anyone you want... you're so damn beautiful that both men and women crave you in every way possible... it scares me to think that one day I might not be good enough... and you'll leave me"

My eyes soften "Seung, you're probably right, I could easily have my pick of anyone out there" I say simply and his eyes snap back to mine, looking hurt by my words "but I don't want just anyone... I want you and only you" I pad slowly across the floor and stop about a foot away from where Seunghyun sits on the edge of the bed "you are the first voice I want to hear when I wake up, and the last before i go to sleep, yours are the only arms i want to feel wrapped around my body, and your lips are the only ones I ever want to feel on my lips." I take a deep breath, usually I don't get all gushy like this, but Seunghyun needs to hear what I feel "you make me feel warm, safe, and happy... you have saved me in ways I can't even begin to explain. I don't want anyone else, because they are not you. Yes people are always looking at me, but it doesn't matter to me because all I'm looking at is you Seunghyun"