Letting love in (GTop)

No more running

~Daesung~

I take in a deep calming breath, before I start up the stairs to the familiar room I know almost as well as my own. I've done this action a million times, but today it's different, today everything changes.

When I finally reach the top step, I feel my resolve breaking. I could run out of here, I could leave right now, and he'd never know what was about to happen. but before I can even pivot on my heels I hear Seunghyun's words running through my head.

"you'll lose him if you force yourself to except something now that you won't be able to later. At least if you tell him how you feel, you have a chance at being the one he forms that happy life with instead of the one watching from the sidelines with a forced smile"

I roll my eyes, even in my head Seunghyun is annoyingly present, he won't just let me live in my happy little dream world like I want, but then again he's also right, I can't accept watching from the sidelines... so here i am.

I take the necessary steps forward towards Youngbae's door, which feels vaguely reminiscent of marching to my death. I swing the door open, greeted with a familiar scene I've seen way to many times to count.

Youngbae sits in his desk chair, facing his unnecessarily large TV, with a controller in hand, clicking away at the buttons. He notices me the minute the door opens though and pauses the game, turning and offering me one of his face splitting grins.

"Hey Dae, what's up man?" He asks, completely oblivious to what's about to happen.

I shake my head, avoiding eye contact "not much..." I swallow the giant lump that's formed in my throat and muster up any amount of strength I can find "well actually I kinda do have something I've been wanting to talk to you about"

"Oh? What is it?" He questions, his features taking on a serious resolve.

I sigh and move further into the room, my every movement monitored closely "well I went out yesterday with Seunghyun and..."

"Ugh, was Jiyong there? I bet he was, that kid is like a damn kawola, always clinging onto Seunghyun"

I roll my eyes, and sit down on the edge of Youngbae's bed "Seriously Bae, whatever your little thing against Ji is, you need to get over it. He makes Seunghyun happy and that's all that matters, and no he wasn't there... actually he sent Seung out to spend time with friends because he didn't want him to lose touch with us"

"Woah, since when are you on his side?" Youngbae defends himself, pouting childishly.

"I'm on the side that makes sense Bae, Ji's a good guy, and I don't understand why you hate him" I point out, feeling a little fire pull at my emotions.

I honestly don't know what it is about Jiyong, but I can't help but like him. The second I met him, I knew he was a good guy who really loves Seunghyun and makes him happy. I could also tell that underneath all of his shy nervousness and apprehension is a really cool person, who I hope to one day call a friend.

Yongbae shakes his head angrily and it hits me that this isn't the conversation I wanted to have. I had this whole confession planned out, I had everything that I want to say perfectly articulated, but now it's completely crumpled to shit.

I can't even remember what I was about to say, but before I can come up with something to direct the conversation back to where it needs to be, Youngbae's voice stops me in my tracks.

"For years I've been taking care of that kid, for years I've been steadily gluing him back together after Ravi fucked him up... and then this little shit comes in, messing him up again... how am I supposed to act towards someone who puts my best friend through hell like that?" Youngbae asks, his eyes showing the depth of how much he really cares for Seunghyun.