My Captain

Distance

*Emma's POV *

Killian had been acting strange for weeks since my magic went out of control and I really wish I was secure enough to just brush it off, but I didn't think I was. He'd been ridiculously clingy physically, but emotionally he was just... absent. It was like he was trying to distance himself from me and I didn't know if it was my hormones or what, but I couldn't take it anymore.

"Killian," I said to get his attention one night as we were getting ready for bed, sitting at my vanity and looking at him through the mirror. "We need to talk."

"Well that doesn't sound good," he sighed as he got in bed and beckoned for me to join him. "So, what is it, Swan? What's going on?"

"You tell me," I said, already defeated as I sat in front of him. "There's obviously something on your mind, so talk to me. Tell me why we haven't had a real conversation for weeks. Is it me? Did my magic freak you out? What?"

"Oh, Emma, no, of course it's not you," he said sadly, reaching out to put his hand on my leg where he could reach. "Your magic is a part of who you are and there's not a single part of you that I don't love. Why would you even think that?"

"Because you won't talk to me," I said with a bit of frustration. "You've been clingy as hell and I'm not going to lie, I love that right now, but I miss our stupid conversations. I miss how you'd tease me and flirt with me like I'm not already yours forever. I miss the way you always make me laugh and never act like you're taking things seriously even when you are. I miss you. What happened to the man I fell in love with?"

"I'm right here," he said quietly, tears in his eyes as he leaned closer to put his hand on my cheek. "I promise, I'm still right here. I've just been trying not to drag you into the stress that comes along with my past."

"What are you talking about?" I asked with a sniffle, begging myself not to cry. "What about your past?"

"Sara," he sighed, brushing away a stray tear from my cheek. "I know her very well and when she gets set on destroying someone, she doesn't stop until she does. I've been trying to keep you out of it so you stay safe, that's all."

"You're such an idiot," I said, shaking my head as he looked at me questioningly. "Everyone has a past, but Killian, I knew what I agreed to when I married you. I don't care about your past, it made you who you are and that's all that matters. You can't let it control your life or you're going to be living in it forever."

"But she could hurt you," he tried to argue but I stopped him, taking his hand from my cheek in both of mine.

"But she won't," I told him in a soft but stern tone. "I know how to defend myself and my family. I've been doing it for years and one stupid jealous girl isn't going to ruin the happiness we worked so hard to find. I'll talk to Regina about some lessons in the morning but for now I need you to let it go and relax. Can you please just do that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you," he sighed, looking down until I leaned forward and lifted his chin to press my lips to his for just a moment. "What was that for?"

"Just being you," I smiled a little, getting up to move to my side of the bed and crawl in next to him. "I'm rather fond of you from time to time."

"I don't deserve it," he said quietly, looking down as he fidgeted with his wedding ring. "I should have let you go when you were still pushing me away. I always end up hurting you."

"Hey," I said softly, crawling over to straddle his lap and putting my hands on his cheeks to lift his face though he wouldn't look at me. I left feather light kisses all over his face as I talked, kissing away the tears that soon fell from his eyes. "I love you. Always. You try so hard to protect me, and it just makes me love you more. Don't ever doubt that being with you has been probably the best decision I've ever made."

"Emma," he tried again but I cut him off with my lips, kissing him softly a few times before he finally kissed me back. His hands slid up my legs, one sliding to my hair as he deepened the kiss slowly and relaxed as my hands ran down to his chest. I let him dominate my mouth, my fingertips pressing into the back of his shoulders as he held me against him. We pulled away after a long time and I moved my hands to the sides of his neck, his forehead resting on mine.

"I don't need your permission to love you," I whispered, using his own words to make my point. "So please stop pushing me away and just let me."

"I'm sorry," he sighed, his eyes still closed as he brushed his nose along mine. "I never meant to upset you. You know how much I love you, don't you?"

"Occasionally," I teased him a bit, pressing another feather light kiss to his lips. "Don't worry. It doesn't matter how hard you push me away, or how pissed off I get at you, I'm always going to be here."

"Wait," he held me tighter when I went to get off of him. "Stay with me like this? Just for a little while longer?"

"Of course," I smiled a bit, kissing his cheek and moving to sit between his legs with my side against his chest and holding his side firmly. He hugged me closer and I felt him bury his face in my hair, just cuddling into him and closing my eyes with a content sigh. "I'll stay right here as long as you want, I promise, just please don't be mad if I fall asleep. I'm exhausted and you're extremely comfortable."

"Alright," I felt him smile, rubbing my side gently. "As long as you don't mind."

"Mhmm," I mumbled, already half asleep as I curled into him. "I'm good here."

"You're just too adorable," he chuckled lightly, kissing my hair. "Go to sleep, love, it's late."

"Mkay," I sighed, snuggling into the side of his neck and quickly falling asleep.

*Killian's POV *

I held her as long as I could, drinking in every bit of her before I got up. The small smile on her full lips, the way she fit perfectly in my arms even when she was curled protectively around her belly- she did that when she slept unless she was facing me, probably thinking having me there was protection enough. I memorized everything about her for the millionth, but probably last time.

I wrote out a long letter for her, leaving it next to the bed with my wedding ring. I knelt down and put my hand on her stomach, kissing it gently and feeling the baby move. I forced myself not to cry, kissing Emma's forehead then her lips lightly. I hurried out the door and took off on my ship before I could give myself a chance to change my mind, completely breaking down as I stood alone at the helm.

I think this chapter speaks for itself. Please leave your reactions, I absolutely love reading them! Thanks again for reading!