locked [chanbaek and kaisoo]

Chapter 13

No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, Jongin was definetely not doing well. He wasn't doing well at all.

It's been days since Jongin had last left his apartment, three days and still counting more to come. If they were meant for resting, a small holiday, or a leave from work due to cure some sudden November ending's cold, it would have been fine. But, sadly, they weren't. The reasons behind Jongin's retreat were a bit more serious and darker, than a lack of rest, or a stupid winter cold

Jongin had spent all of those days lying in his bed, and almost not moving from the fallback of his blankets. He only left them when he needed to visit the bathroom, or take a quick shower. Neither throughout all that time he had the appetite to swallow even one bite of food, or drink anything in order to keep himself hydrated. Tired and already indifferent towards everything concerning him and his health, Jongin couldn't and didn't even want to look at food. The thought itself of putting something into his mouth just made him feel sick to his stomach.

And that's how those three days turned into three days of constant laying in the bed, poor nutrition and numerous dark thoughts, swirling in his head. It was irresponsible, childish and stupid to give in to despair and sadness like this, but Jongin no longer cared for that. He just wanted to torture himself for something, of which reasons he himself didn't really know. He just did.

And of course, when he finally heavily rose from his bed on the third day, and heavily lumbered to his bathroom, the first thing Jongin noticed in the mirror was how badly starvation and restlessness had affected him throughout this time. He really looked like a dead body, or someone severely sick. The way his bones were protruding unhealthily much under the pale and dry skin, indicated just how weak and tortured his body became in this short time. It was a terrible sight, really. Not to mention, that Jongin couldn't even take a step forward without feeling like he's about to fall down and faint. Hiis body was just giving up on moving or doing anything alltogether. It just could no longer cope with Jongin, and his pain.

Kyungsoo would have killed me for this, Jongin solemnly thought, staring at his depressing reflection. He really would have killed me.

Jongin looked at his much paler than usual skin, and then averted his look to the unhealthy looking eyebags. Staring at the result of what he had turned himself into, the male couldn't help but feel like crying. Everything now just started to look so insolvable and hopeless.

Nobody believed him. He knew he saw Kyungsoo, he could swear he did. But Chanyeol and Baekhyun didn't believe him, and Kyungsoo didn't come closer to them either. He just left, without saying anything. And he, Jongin, was left there with Chanyeol, who looked at him as if he was finally turning into a real psycho, and Baekhyun, who just looked so sorry. And not the usual, friendly kind of sorry, either. The pitying one, the one you look at a sick person with.

Shaking those thoughts away, Jongin ruffled his hair, and grabbed a toothbrush from the shelve above the sink. Enough self-pity, he thought angrily to himself, and squirted some toothpaste onto the toothbrush.

He should rather do something, than sit here and cry for himself, and his misery.

He can find Kyungsoo, and he can prove he was there that night. All Jongin needs is to put in an effort.

As Jongin was scouring his teeth with the toothbrush impatiently and almost violently, he heard his phone ringing barely audibly back in the bedroom. He spat out the minty foam, rinsed his mouth quickly with some warm water, and trampled back to the room to answer the call. He had been ignoring calls for a while now.

"Yes?"

***

Kyungsoo hadn't changed much throughout those years.