Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 31

It was silent in my car, Harry was driving behind me since he didn't know this was out of Sheffield. I had my clothes in a black sack since Tony needed his bag back now that I was going back to London. I needed to visit him more, and Kayla. God, she was so nice. 

Time passed rather quickly and soon I drove up on the road leading to Harry's house. I parked my car and took my sack with me out of the car and in to Harry's house since he was home already, he drove faster than me. I opened the heavy door and stepped in, Harry greeted me right away. 

"Let me take that." He offered and took the sack with clothes away from me, walking away to his bedroom. I sat down on the kitchen counter, feeling my stomach scream for food. I hadn't had anything since breakfast and it was already half past three pm. 

"Can we grab lunch?" I hesitated to ask, I didn't know if Harry wanted just to chill now or something but I was starving and needed food now. 

"Sure. Do you want me to cook or?" He smiled, walking towards the fridge. 

"Yeah, that would be lovely." I giggled. Harry took out stuff to make a meal off while I took a seat in the sofa, watching re-runs of Friends for about ten minutes before I got handed a plate on my knee. On it lied some kind of wok with a lot of vegetables in it.

"I'm not that good at cooking." Harry smirked, looking over at me taking a bite of the food. 

"It's really good, Harry." I promised. He thanked me and we watched a movie together, me lying in his arms. After the movie we went to the bedroom, lying down in the cozy bed which I actually did miss while in Sheffield. 

"Ask me anything." He smiled as I sat down on the bed.

"What?" I murmured. 

"Ask me anything. We need to get to know each other better." He whispered, taking my hand in his. 

"Alright." I laughed. "Where were you born?" It was the first think that popped in to my head so I just went with it. Harry smiled at me, brushing his thumb over mine the way I liked it. 

"Cheshire." He smiled. "And I guess you lived in Manchester since your parents live there?" He hesitated slightly but I nodded in response, receiving an adorable smile. "How old is Tony?" He asked, a pretty weird question. 

"Twenty three." I smiled. "What do you work as?" It was quite odd not knowing absolutely anything about your boyfriend, at all. 

"Personal trainer." He murmured. Well I could see that. He had the perfect body and suited the profession. "And you work at Jack Wills." He smiled. I nodded. "Am I your first boyfriend?" His cheek blushed, making me smile but mine blushed twice as much at the same time. 

"Yes." I murmured. Since I just went on first or second dates this was actually my first relationship. "Do you see a future with me?" Dang it. I need to get the filter in my head telling me what to think and what to say under control. Harry looked at me with pretty wide eyes, maintaining his gaze on my blushing self. 

"Of course I do." He promised, rubbing his thumb faster over mine. "Do you see one with me?" He whispered. I nodded sincerely. I did see a future here, I could see my life with him. We were quite the opposites but since my mum and dad worked it out I was sure we could too. 

"Do you love me?" I needed to know, for real. Not just empty promises, I needed to know how much he loved me, why he loved me, that he was never going to stop loving me. I have been with him for such a short time, I've known him like a week longer than I have been his girlfriend and we had had this roller coaster of ups and downs for so long. I needed to know that this was worth fighting for, worth breaking down in the middle of the night and fall asleep to your own sobbing. I wanted to know this was the right decision. 

"Yes. I do." He promised. 

"Tell me how much." I demanded. It was the least he could do after everything. 

"You do not even have the slightest clue of how much I love you. I would do anything for you, anything and everything. The days without you made me almost want to die. Not knowing where to find you, driving around London like a mental person, crying in the car and almost crashing in to people since my vision was all blurry from the tears. I've never cried, not since I was a kid, never for a girl. You are so god damn perfect, you have it all and you chose me, I just don't fucking get it. You have the best personality ever, you're smile is so pretty and looks amazing with your deep brown eyes. They look a bit honey in the sun, did you know that? I love how your hair looks brown in the sunlight but in the shadow it's so black. I love how you make me smile, and how I shiver at your touch. I love how you blush at everything, it looks so visible on your cheeks. I love how, even though we don't fucking know shit about each other, we made this work. I don't even know your damn birthday but I've already been thinking about what to get you. I love you, more than simple words can explain, and I wouldn't give you up for anything, or anyone baby. You are the god damn reason I am here right now, feeling happy for once in my rubbish life. You made it better, you made it all so much better." He whispered. I allowed the tears to fall down, not bothering to wipe them away since they were replaced in under a second. 

I kissed his lips firmly, moving in a rhythm which was slow but romantic. His wet lips felt warm and soft against mine. I was craving him, I needed him and I had him. I was so hopelessly in love with him that I wasn't even aware of what to do with myself. It was insane, this whole relationship, but this might happen again and I don't even care. I just want to be with him and even if I know that it might not work out, I can still say with a smile that this was the best time I've had in my life. He made smile so much, he made me happy just by being him. So what if we argued? Like everybody didn't. We were just a bit more complicated, a bit less flawless. But flaws are good. You need flaws. 

I felt so comfortable around him. I've never felt like this. I could just walk around how I wanted, not wearing any makeup and my hair in a low ponytail and don't care. He was my boyfriend and I knew he loved me, I knew he cared. Why should I worry about myself and my appearance when I have someone that loves me for me, not for my looks. Not that I was any Kayla, or anything near that, but I managed to believe him when he said that I was beautiful. He made me feel beautiful, like  I was a princess and he was my prince. 

It broke my heart though, knowing he cared just as much as I did. He looked for me, he searched for me and he found me. I just ran away. I'm not that strong, I'm no Holly Kennedy, I can't just bring myself to my feet after weeks of suffering. I'm just me and I will struggle with this whole thing for a while, but I trusted him so much I would probably forget it all in under a day. My head it just a mixed bowl with emotions, I have no idea what I'm thinking anymore. All I know it one thing. 

I love him, I love Harry.