Forever December[2011 Watty Awards]

Forever December: Chapter 25: Moving towards the end(LAST REAL CHAPTER)

Yes, everyone. This is the final chapter of Forever December. I’m writing an epilogue, but I doubt that I will write a sequel. If you WANT me to write one, let me know. J Thank you for reading all the way through.

*Forever December*

*Chapter 25: Moving towards the end*

I had Rian saddled on my hip. Today would be an important day for my family. I’d told my dad to take the offer. I didn’t know if this was what I really wanted in the end, but I decided that I’d find out.

My stuff was mostly packed. I looked around the room, letting out a sigh. Yes...it was what was best for my daughter and me.

I looked down at Rian’s dark hair with a sad smile. She’d always remind me of her father, but I’d learn to get over it. I’d even learn to forget about him. I’d learn to forget about my love for him.

Was this right?

I hadn’t told Parker about the move yet. Maybe, just maybe he’d want to come too. I knew that there was no way that I was going to leave Rian here. So either he came; or he stayed, and he would be without her.

I decided we should pay a visit. I rolled in front of Parker’s house in my dad’s car. With Rian, I walked up to the door and knocked. I closed my eyes, hoping it was just him this time, and not that girl.

Parker opened the door. His eyes settled on Rian instantly. “Come in,” he said. We did.

My heart stopped when I saw her again. Brandie stood with a baby in her arms…a baby boy. It wasn’t only her that made me want to cry, but the boy looked nothing like Rowan, but I couldn’t imagine having another boy around me at this time.

“We’re moving to Arizona,” I blurted out.

“What? No! You can’t do that, Dee!” He protested.

I looked down and handed Rian to him. “Rian needs a new start. We all do. You can come with if you want….”

Parker kissed our daughter’s forehead. I held the tears back that threatened. This will be good for us, I kept telling myself.

“I…I can’t live here anymore. There are too many horrible memories.”

Almost forgetting that Brandie was there, Parker’s blue eyes met mine. “I can’t leave, Dee. I have family here…He’s here.” I knew he was referring to Rowan. Sadness showed in his eyes.

“We’re going either way,” I said. I looked away. I didn’t want him to see the desire in my eyes. I didn’t want him to see how much I need him to come with us.

“When?”

“Two days.”

“Let me keep her until then,” he pleaded.

It was fiar that he had time with Rian before we left. “That’s fine.” I pecked her forehead. “Mommy will see you soon, Ri.”

*Three Days Later*

I looked around the new house. It was smaller than our old one, but it still looked nice. Rian would stay in my room until she was old enough for her own bed. I had a feeling that the years with her would fly like colors.

A sad smile appeared on my face as I looked down at my little angel. Parker would probably never see Rian again. She’d grow up without a father and I’d have to do it all alone. I guess I saw it coming, but it still stung like heartburn that would never go away.

“Dee, someone’s here for you,” my mom called. I was confused, but walked back into the living room. I wiped away the tears that had run down my face.

I stopped dead. Standing in a furniture-less living room was the dark haired boy whom had stolen my heart. Parker stepped forward as my mom left the room. “I can’t lose my girls. I need you two,” he said, quiet enough that I could barely hear it.

I held Rian between us as we embraced one another. For once, I felt happy. And Parker…for the first time in a very long time leaned down and kissed me.

People change, everyone does. They lie, they cheat, and sometimes they lose the things that they love. Sometimes the only way to deal with loss is to ignore it and act as if nothing had ever happened. For me, I had a reminder of the past stirring in my arms; her name is Rian. Everyone always thinks that having children is a happy thing…but how do you deal with the loss of one, when his replica stares you in the face every day?

The truth is, you never get over the death of a child that grew inside of you. I know that I won’t. Rowan will always be in my heart. When Rian goes to school, I’ll wonder why he was chosen to not be here to walk up those steps with his sister.

Death changes people, especially me…but I will be Forever December.