Battle of Hearts: Two

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Do you know the feeling when one one of your worst fears comes alive? I hadn't until that moment when I was frantically and unconsciously running down the stairs to his apartment. I was running so fast; it was a miracle I didn't fall to death with my unclear vision.

Every word he had ever said echoed in my mind like a song you hate but is stuck in your head. I was surprised why I wasn't crying. Maybe in my subconscious, I had imagined this day would eventually come. But when it did, it was too hard to believe. The reality didn't hit me quickly.

Somehow I managed to reach the pavement. I panted for air from all the physical and mental torture. I stopped a cab and then looked up to his window one last time. And he was there.

His head dangling from the cavity and he stared down at me with those big, sad eyes. I wanted to go up to him again but I restrained myself, I will not let myself fall into his trap again.

A cold laugh spilled from my lips and I turned away into the cab and slammed the door behind me. I dictated the address to the driver, my voice was drained and emotionless.

The ride back to campus I couldn't stop thinking about every sweet thing that he had ever said that caused me to give myself to him wholeheartedly.

I would never break up with you.

You're my soulmate.

You're my life.

And the painful words he had said today would be engraved in my mind forever, shadowing every good thing he had uttered in the past.

Maybe we were not meant to be.

If we were never meant to be together why did he even say those sweet words to me? I had always hated people like him. People who don't live up to their words. And I was sure after that day I would hate him with as much passion as I had loved him.

*

When I walked the hallways of my dorm that night greeting people with a usual smile, no one could guess that I had just suffered a nasty break up. I had not let one tear drop the whole ride from his apartment to my dorm, convincing myself that I was a strong girl.

But, when I shut the door of my room the dam I had made for myself broke. I collapsed on the floor beside my bed and I wished all of it wasn't real.

A silent sob came out of my throat and all the unhappiness that I had gone through in that year came back to me at once. The strength that I had been holding, shattered into pieces, leaving me vulnerable and weak. I thought I was strong enough to lose him, but really I wasn't.

I had merely been pretending to be strong for him. And the charade I was living in, was finally over. I brought my knees to my chest and buried my face in it. I cried for an hour and then I was out of tears.

I guessed because in the past I had cried so many tears for him, that I was out of tears. But, like they said in 'Sex and the city' movie, maybe you get only so many tears per guy.

The door flung open and Ava's urgent steps came to a sudden halt. "Ally, what happened?" She cried, shutting the door.

"We broke up... Well, technically it was his idea." I found my squeaky, tiny voice again.

She fell beside me and gave me a side hug. "I'm so sorry." She said.

"Don't be... I guess, I expected it on some level."