Lessons Learned (Sequel to Love At War) Harry Styles

Chapter 4

"I'll see you both in the morning. I love you," I whispered, switching the bedroom light off.

"Love you too Mummy," was slurred back to me, the tiredness taking over my two little girls.

"Sweet dreams."

I pulled the door shut and then turned around to find Hannah standing in front of me. She had her arms folded and was tapping her foot on the floor.

"Don't," I muttered in a warning tone, putting my hand on the banister and going downstairs.

"We need to talk about this," she said, matter-of-factly.

"No we don't," I snapped, walking into the lounge and then throwing my bag across the room. "Hannah, why the fuck is this happening?!"

"Sit down," she said simply, dragging me to the sofa and giving me a hug. "Liss, it's all gonna be okay, I promise."

"How can you say that?" I asked, my voice cracking. "You don't know that, no one will ever know that."

"We'll make it okay...but we need to talk about it first, you need to get your emotions out."

"I don't know what to do," I wailed. "I've worked so hard to keep my life separate from my old one and now it's all fallen to pieces. He's going to recognise me when he sees me, I know he will!"

"Well I can pick the girls up most days, I finish work at three so that's fine...and you can just drop them off quickly in the morning...you don't necessarily have to see him."

"What about parents evenings? You can't exactly go to those...oh God, he's going to be at his own daughters' parents evening, telling me about them and not even realising that they're his!"

"Calm down."

"I can't calm down...we're going to have to move, that's the only possible solution...I'm going to have to get a new job, a new house...maybe we could go abroad or something...I'm going to have to change my number again, and my email address...I'm going to have to leave everyone behind...I'm going...I'm going to be sick."

I got up and practically flew into the downstairs bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach. How could I let him reduce me to this when I hadn't even seen him?

"So you're going to upset the girls' everyday lives, make them leave their school and their friends all because of one stupid prick who ruined your life?" asked Hannah, leaning against the door frame.

I took a cup from the side of the sink and took a large gulp of water. My stomach was still flipping and I needed to calm down. This isn't what I wanted, Hannah was right. I hated her for it, but it was the truth. I couldn't run away from my problems again, I had to face them. I knew it was going to be difficult, if I saw him it would be awful, but I had to take that chance for the girls. I knew he would resent me for leaving and for keeping Maddie and Ellie a secret but...maybe it was time for the truth to come out.

"He didn't ruin my life," I corrected her. "It kind of ruined itself."

"Even so, are you really going to leave?"

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "I don't know what I'm going to do though. This is all becoming too weird...and I don't know why they're all here...Portsmouth is a tiny little place, it's hardly the place for worldwide pop stars is it?"

"Maybe that's why they chose it...they're taking a year off so the small places would be good."

"I guess...they can't be here because they know I am right?"

"I doubt it...how could they?"

"They know people who could find me."

"It's been seven years Liss," she said sympathetically. "I know that you haven't moved on, but it's possible that he has. He might not even think about you."