Lessons Learned (Sequel to Love At War) Harry Styles

Chapter 23

I never thought my blood could run so cold. I felt like I’d been plunged into an ice bath and the uncomfortable look that Hannah was giving me told me I was right to be so scared. I didn’t have a clue what she was about to tell me, but there was a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that it was about to ruin everything for me. It was typical really; every time things started going well in my life, something would always come along to inevitably ruin it. Now things in my life were practically perfect, this was going to make it all come crumbling down, I was sure of it.

“Hey babe,” said Hannah quietly, pushing a small glass of wine towards me when I sat down.

“You look like you’re about to pass out,” I told her, noticing the paleness in her cheeks that I hadn’t noticed from afar. “I’m really not looking forward to this.”

“I know…and I’m sorry I was so evasive on the phone…I’d literally just found out and I was in complete shock.”

“Literally just found out what though?”

She sighed, and ran her hand through her purple hair. Her hands were shaking as she reached for mine and held it tightly. If I wasn’t uncomfortable before, I sure as hell was now. I’d never seen her like this, she was the strong one out of the pair of us, and I relied on her to be just that. But here she was, basically having a meltdown in front of me, and I could barely handle it.

“Look, this is in no way your fault. I know what you’re like and you’re going to blame yourself. But it wasn’t right for you, and in many ways, it’s my fault,” she stuttered, her words coming out slowly and muddled. “I would never have arranged it if I thought it was going to turn out like this, I just never thought that-“

“Han, please,” I said warily. “Please, just tell me what’s happened.”

“Oh god,” she moaned. “I’m so sorry.”

“I accept your apology for whatever it is you think you’ve done,” I whispered. “But please, I need to know what you’re talking about, this is killing me.”

“It’s Lucas,” she blurted out. “Something’s happened.”

“Is he okay?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“It’s what’s not wrong with him that’s the real question,” she muttered angrily, her eyes darkening with pure, unadulterated hatred.

“You’re being evasive again,” I pointed out, trying my best to remain calm and not to raise my voice. It wasn’t that I was mad at her, it was just stressing me out to the point of insanity.

“He’s acted strangely since the two of you called things off,” she began, running her finger repeatedly around the rim of her wine glass. “He was late to work a lot, he didn’t turn up at all on some days. He didn’t look as well put together as he usually did, he’d wear the same shirt three days running…and I mean, I obviously have to do that if I’ve stayed at a guys the night before but I never make it look obvious…but with him, it was really obvious. It was almost like he just couldn’t care less anymore. He’d also started getting quite angry with clients if things didn’t go his way…I mean, my friend Jon literally had to stop an argument from getting physical the other day, it was awful.”

“And this is my fault?” I asked. “I’m not being funny, it wasn’t right. I wanted to be with Harry, that’s all I’ve ever wanted, and I couldn’t lead Lucas on if I never saw a proper future with him.”

“It’s not your fault,” said Hannah simply. “And if you’d let me finish my story, you’d understand why.”

“Sorry,” I muttered. “Sensitive subject.”