Life keeps going - Demi saved me

Chapter five

Alex's POV

I looked up fast dread washing over me as I heard the guys rough voice. It didn't sound like Beau but I couldn't be one hundred percent sure. I saw Suzzie's head whip around as fast mine too, alarmed of who it is and what they might do to her. Then he spoke again.

"Hello, Alexis, it's been a while."
"Hey Dad" I managed to whisper out as two young girls ran in from behind me. Lilly and Emily, my twin sisters. Wow they are so big now, they must be four this year I thought to myself. I put my arms out as they ran closer to me.
"Hey baby girls, I've missed use so much." I winced in pain as Emily landed on one of my broken ribs. Shock ran over her face and I insured her I was ok with a big smile and giving her a kiss on the head. I watched as dad walked over to me, be bending down and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"It's really good to see you Alexis,it's just a shame it's not under better circumstances."

"It's good to see you too Dad and I really do mean it. I know I messed up and it's my fault we haven't talked but I still love you Daddy and I really need you right now" I managed to get out as the tears started streaming down my face. I didn't mean to cry in front of the twins but something about seeing my dad and him kissing me again made me break down. Both Suzzie and Dad ran to wrap their arms around me glaring at each other as they did so.

Just then Fiona, Dads wife walked in she didn't even look at me, and just talked to Dad.
" I'm going total ether girls, for a walk and give you guys a chance to talk, come on girls," she said as she held out a hand beckoning the girls towards her. They put up a fight but were soon ushered out giving me their best puppy dogs as they left. I held up a hand and gave them a smile hoping that I would get to see them again before they left.

Dad turned to look at me and Suzzie with that concerned father look in his eye, that all fathers get. " I believe we need to talk, Alexis and please the truth this time, if you really want my help then we need to start at the beginning."
I looked at Suzzie who gave me a reassuring nod and took my hand giving it a little squeeze. I had no idea where to start and just stared at Dad for awhile thinking about what to say. Finally I took a deep breath, looking him in the eye and squeezing Suzzie's hand even tighter.

"Dad, I'm so sorry you have to know that ok. It all got to much for me after Mum died and you started drinking, then you got Fiona and I just felt alone. Not that I'm blaming you cause I'm not Dad, I can see how happy you are with her. Then I met Beau and he made all these promises that I believe. I was young, stupid and naive. I still am and I love him but I hate him and I hate what he's done to me but I'm to scared to leave him because I don't want to be alone again. He made me give up everything. My family, my friends, my state. I miss Demi and Marissa. They were my sisters and he wouldn't let me talk to them. He told me that use didn't love me and he was the only person that did. Then I stopped hearing from use I believed him Dad." I couldn't continue the tears were pouring and catching in my throat. I felt like my heart had been ripped out I needed some type of release and I didn't know how to get it. Dad just held me tight not letting me go. No one talked for ages.

"How do you fit into all of this then," he said looking up at Suzzie. I nearly forgot she was in the room.
She looked him dead in the eye and answered "I'm her flat mate, I knew what was going on and didn't stop. You have all the right in the world to blame me Mr Brown. I blame myself. I'm terribly sorry I let you and your family down."

"Dad it's not her fault, if it wasn't for Suzzie I would be dead. There wasn't anything she could do okay. Believe me." I begged him.

" I believe you baby. Suzzie I'm sorry for what I said before. If anything I should be thanking you for being there for my little girl, so ideally am sorry. Lets just all work together now to ensure the best for Alexis. "




Three weeks later:
I was finally aloud out of the hospital. My foot was still in a moon boot and my ribs were still giving me some trouble but I was doing a hell of a lot better. I hadn't seen Beau at all. I didn't know how I felt about that. Some days I missed him and other days I could jump out of happiness. Dad had taken care of everything, selling my house for me so he couldn't go back there and find me. We had rented a three bedroom apartment till I worked out what I wanted to do. Dad was begging me to go back to LA with him which I really wanted to do but I couldn't leave Suzzie after everything. Now I had to just find a way to tell my Dad this.
"Dadddddddddddddddddddddd," I yelled from my room to lazy to go find him. He came running. "What? What's wrong?" He managed to get out trying to catch his breath. I laughed at him and grinned back.
"Nothing just wanted to talk, come sit." I said pointing to the end of my bed. He jumped down narrowly missing my foot, I glared at him thinking smooth Dad. This time he laughed at me.
"Look Dad, I've been thinking and thinking about this really hard. I'm great full for everything you and Fiona have done for me over the last three weeks. You have no idea how amazing it is to have my family back in my life so thank you."
He went to talk but I cut him off "but Dad, I'm not ready to go back to LA just yet. Suzzie has done so much for me and I can't just get up and abandon her when she needs me. She's going through a rough break up too and we need each other."

I could see the look of disappointment sweep over his face but yet he remained silent.
"I love you Daddy, and I promise I will come home one day soon and this time I will keep in touch." I reached out for him and he just took my hand.
"I've lost you once baby and I don't think I can handle loosing you again. But if this is what you want I'm not going to stop you. Your nineteen you know what's best but just remember no matter what I will always be hear for you." We hugged and a tear slipped down his cheek.
"Are you crying you big baby" I said pushing him off me, we both laughed for awhile. Shit, I really am going to miss having him around.

The next day it was time to say goodbye. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do but at least this time I knew it wasn't going to be forever. I gave Fiona a quick hug and thanked her for everything before finding myself tucked into my Dads tight embrace. Neither of us said anything it was to hard. We held each other for what seemed like forever before he finally let go and made his way to the taxi. Lilly and Emily came running at me both crying. I wiped their tears away telling them I will come and visit soon. I slipped them each a bag of lollies for the ride as Fiona doesn't let them have sweets and then they were gone and I was left standing alone in an empty drive way. I made my way back into the house and found a bottle of vodka, I took a long sip of it before making my way to Suzzie's room. I sat down on the bed next to her, passing her the pbottle.
"Got anything to take the edge off," I asked knowing that she was still a strong user. She took out a pouch from under her pillow and set up to lines in front of her. I didn't even give it a second thought as the oh so familiar burning started in my nose. I instantly started to feel better as I reached for the bottle of vodka again. I noticed that Suzzie had some pills too, not knowing what they were I scoped them up too and swallowed before Suzzie could stop me. All I knew now was the pain I had been feeling for the last three weeks was finally gone and I was floating on a cloud. I stumbled my way to the bathroom and sat down on the cold tile. I looked for anything sharp, finding an old razor. I smashed it into tiny pieces pulling the plastic off the blade. I sat there for awhile twirling it in my fingers remembering everything Beau had ever said and done to me. I took the blade and pressed it down on my skin pushing harder and harder until I could see the blood hit the floor. Welcome to my nightmare I thought to myself as I pushed down harder again.