Life keeps going - Demi saved me

Chapter 2

I stumbled into bed putting the nights events behind me and dreaming of a better day tomorrow. I must of fallen asleep within no time, as I was startled awake when Beau started shaking me to wake up. I opened my eyes to see his big chocolate ones surveying me.
"Come" he said pointing to my desk where two lines sat.
I got up and slowly followed him to the desk. This had become a very bad habit of mine since I started dating Beau. Every time I did it I hated myself a little bit more but yet I couldn't stop. The feeling I got from it took over my mind making me want more, making me depend on it and crave it. As I felt the familiar burning in my nose, I knew that tomorrow was going to be a hard day.


I finally wake up, my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. I need water I thought. I rolled over looking at the time 10.37. Good Beau would already be at work, I would have the next couple of hours to myself. I crawled out of bed feeling stiff and sore from the beating I took yesterday. I decide to distract myself from those thoughts as I make my way to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and then began rummaging in the draw until I found the aspirin. Popping 3 in my mouth, I stick my head under the tap to get a bit of water to wash them down with. I grab my blade from its hiding spot and sit down on the toilet. I roll up my long sleeves and run the cool blade over my arm just taking in the feeling and then slowly press down, feeling the pain rush through my bloody as the blood begins to slowly flow. I push down hard hoping this is the one to do damage. I go dizzy as the blood begins to flow faster but this just eggs me on and I add more and more cuts making the blood full thick and fast. I sit there fora good amount of time just watching the blood before I strip down and jump in the now boiling water, letting it wash over my aching body.

I get dressed and clean up my mess in the bathroom before making my way into Suzzie's room. She was still asleep so I quietly grabbed her laptop and made my way back to my room. Beau doesn't allow me to use technology so I have to do it sneakily so he doesn't find out. I sit down on the bed and type in Suzzie's password, waiting for it all to load up. I go on the Internet and type in twitter loading it up with an anxious breath. I had created an anonymous account so I can keep track of my friends that Beau made me dessert. I knew it was wrong but I had to know. I missed them more then I thought was possible but the thought of Beau made me scared to even think about contacting them. I firstly go on to Marissa's page going through all her tweets. It was awesome to see that she was still dancing and still really close with our other best friend Demi. I find a link to Demi's page and wait for it to load. Wow there was so much going on with this girl since the last time I saw her. Three big Disney movies, her own tv show, her first cd and she was currently on tour with the Jonas brothers. I knew this girl was talented but it was ridiculous to see how far she has come in her life since we were kids.

Demi and Marissa had been my best friends since I was five. We met in first grade and became best friends instantly. Growing up they always had my back, they were like my sisters. We did everything together, when my mum got sick they were there to help me look after her and take care of the house. When she passed they stayed with me for the whole week making sure I was ok. When Dad let me down day after day they were always there to pick me, especially when he got his new family. Then one day I meg Beau, he convinced me he was all I needed. We used the money Mum had left me to buy our house and he promised to look after me. Even if we were only 17. Looking back now I see how dumb and naive I was but I did really love him. He told me I didn't need my formers anymore and beat me if I tired to communicate with them. He took all means of communication off me and that was that I lost the two most important living people to me.

I sat there crying as I remembered this starring at a photo of Demi on stage. How I wish I could just email her now telling her where I was and letting her know I need help. But I can't, I have Beau, he is my life, he is all I got now. I slam the laptop down making myself feel sick with the last thought and make my way down stairs. I find my bottle of vodka and got sit on my usual step getting settled for the day. I pull out a cigaret and let my feelings drown in the alcohol and smoke.