Life keeps going - Demi saved me

Chapter eight

Demi's POV

"I guess shits just been building up since I was young. I never really fitted in and I was constantly bullied. Getting called fat and ugly, I know I always told you it didn't bother me and we made jokes about it. But the truth was it did bother me." I looked at Alexis for the encouragement to go on, she reached out a hand to me and I grabbed it. She gave me a small smile and said "I know babe it got to me too, but I didn't want you to think I was weak so I joked about it."
"Can I tell you something I've never told anyone before?" I said my voice getting all croaky at the thought.
"You know you can tell me anything" Alexis said so I continued.
" I started having suicidal thoughts at the age of seven, I mean how screwed up is that. Most girls are like oh look at my new barbie and I was like eww look at my fatness, make it all end. I started cutting young too, that's one of the reasons I'm here. Plus the bulimia and the drug and alcohol abuse. I started partying like a crazy lady then on my latest concert tour I may have knocked out my back up dancers. So you could say I'm fucked up." I looked up expecting her to be disgusted in me. I mean look how fucked up I was and all the shit I had been through and done. But she just pulled me closer trying to hug me. As I stood to wrap myself around her neck she whispered in my ear.
"Not fucked up Dem, just a bit damaged but hey that's why we are here right?" That's all I need to hear as the tears began to slide down my face. I just told her how screwed up I was and she was still sitting here making excuses for me. That's why she was truly my best friend. I knew now that I could get through this and come out stronger now I had my Lexi right back next to me. We sat hugging for a bit longer when I broke the silence
"Ok baby, your turn! And I need to know everything. Don't you dare leave a thing out."


Alex's POV

Demi had just finished telling me why she was here and it honestly broke my heart hearing how much she thought of herself. I knew that she was better then that and so did her fans. She just needed to start seeing herself the way we did. Perfectly. We sat there for what seemed ages wrapped in each others arms. It's the safest I have felt in years and when she pulled back I was a little hurt. She broke the silence saying
"Ok baby, your turn! And I need to know everything. Don't you dare leave a thing out."
"Everything" i said. "You sure you can handle it?"
"Not really, but I need to know and it will help you being able to talk about it. Start from when you left me and why please it's been bugging me for years."

"Well," I started " once mum died things got hard. You had just started working more, dad had his knew gf and Marissa was all about her dance. I guess I just kind of felt alone. That's when I met Beau, I guess I feel in love with the idea of him more then him. I thought he could make me happy and I created this fake world in my head where he did, believing that was reality. Does that make sense? Far whose sounding fucked up now? I said looking at her kind of searching for approval to carry on.
"It's not fucked up Lex, you wanted your happy ever after and you believed it was him, so what happened there?" She asked moving a chair next to me so she could get comfy.

"I don't know a lot of that times a blur he got me into drugs and all that shit, I spent more of my life sniffing crack then I did anything else. Then one day he convinced me that you guys didn't love me anymore. That use and dad didn't want me in your lives and things would be better for me if we just packed up and left. That's what we did, we had all this money mum had left me and we were set. We moved to Chicago and brought a house with my money. I guess that's when I really got to know Beau." Demi didn't say anything, she just sat there taking everything in,so I carried on. "He started beating me, being so stupid I just thought it was his way of showing me how much he cared. He controlled everything about my life. Who I talked too, what I did, where I worked. It was ridiculous I had no idea who I was anymore. Things just got worse, he was always putting me down, making my self hate issues worse. That's when I stopped eating, if I did I would spew it all back up later. I had to get perfect for him in order for everything to stop. In order for me to be able to look in a mirror and be happy with what I saw. It didn't work and I saw no escape so I started looking for ways to take away the pain and end it all that's when I started self harming. My drug and alcohol abuse got worse. I couldn't live without it, which just seemed to make the abuse worse. The whole time I though about all of use but I was to scared to contact use. I use to steal Suzzie's laptop to stalk your twitter and fb.. I watched camp rock online and learned about how successful you got. It killed me knowing I could just contact you then and there but I couldn't. So I just kept up with this miserable life. Then a month or longer ago Beau heard me talking to Suzzie about him and he lost it. That's how I get these injuries. I was out cold, suffered a head injury, broke my knee and a couple of ribs. That's how I got dad back into my life, the hospital called him and he came running. I managed to get away from him. I thought he was in jail. I sent dad packing on e I was out of hospital. He left to go home two days ago. I was staying in my new apartment with Suzzie, when I heard a bang. I got up to investigate and found Beau in my house. Head his way with me if you get my drift. Beat me some more cause he didn't do a good enough job the first time. I felt disgusted in myself, I cut deep that night but it didn't work. So I found every drug I owned and took it, washing it all down with a combination of alcohol. I ended up in hospital instead of the wooden box I dreamed of and then dad sent me here. So I guess that's my story. "

Omg did I just get threw all of that without crying. I am so amazed. I looked up at Demi,she has been very quiet throughout my whole story. She had tear dripping from her eyes.
" why are you crying?" I asked
"Because you have been through so much and yet your still standing here. I'm so proud of you babe. Forget that asshole. Just know that I love you, I always did and always will no matter what"
"Thanks, DemDem. I love you too"
We sat there for a while both lost in our own worlds when she finally asked " you kept talking about a Suzzie, whose she?"
" she was this chick that was flitting with us she became a good friend, well my only friend." I answered while playing with my fingers.
"Oh you replaced me that easy" Demi said sounding a little bit hurt.
I shot my head up how could she ever think that "no Demi, no. I could never replace you. Especially with her."
"Why not? What's wrong with her? Didn't she help you?" I could tell Demi was curious to find out more about her.
"She was always good at listening and telling me what to do. But she was never there when I needed her. Like when Beau got angry she just walked away and let him go for it. And I swear she's the one who told him where I was cause dad had just left and then all of a sudden she was there." Demi gasped " what a fucken bitch, if I ever meet her I swear."

Just then the door opened and standing in front of us was Jack and Jill. I almost had forgotten where we were.
"Sorry to break the party up girls but its time to settle use in and introduce you to the rest of the team" Jill spoke quietly observing the scene that had just unfolded in front of her. While Jack had made his way over to me to push me to my next destination.