My Stepdad, Billie Joe Armstrong (Daughter of Rage and Love)

Cigarettes and Ramen and a Little Bag of Dope

As I walked to the mall, I tried hard not to think that upon walking back into my house, there will be a stranger living with me and my mom, even if that stranger is Billie Armstrong. Maybe he's nice and sweet and cool, but he's still a stranger invading our space, our home, our lives. Maybe my mom didn't mind, but I did.

And yes, I don't know why I minded it so much - maybe it's the overprotective daughter speaking, or maybe I'm too scared to let another "father figure" into my life. I don't trust people easily and much less like to let them in. I keep my walls up high to keep people out even though there isn't anybody to let in.

That probably explains why I have only one friend, Alisa, who was on vacation in London with her mom as of right now. Other than that, I just have acquaintances who want nothing to do with me once outside the school grounds. I think most people could relate to that.

Walking in and out of stores, looking through clothes, books, and CD's (coming across Green Day twice), it felt like 9 pm came in a space of one hour.

So with a sigh I walked out into the warm June evening and feeling the warm breeze on my face decided that I could face my mom and Billie.

***

Opening the front door, I stumbled in like a drunk and walked into the kitchen, fearless.

To come face to face with a scene straight out of a nightmare. My mom and Billie, sitting at the kitchen table that hasn't been used in 5 years since my dad died. What is she trying to do? Fool both of us into thinking that we could still be a full family? Or show me that replacing my dad wasn't that damn hard?

Oblivious to my anger, my mom looked up at me and smiled encouragingly, "How sweet of you to join us," she said. I returned the same stupid smile - feeling anger bubbling up inside of me, resulting in me slamming my chair a little too hard whilst sitting down. My plate was already filled with steak and mashed potatoes, my mom's best dish.

I didn't know if I was supposed to dig in right away or wait, so I looked around the table. My mom was eyeing me like I was the last albino elephant on Earth, while Billie was smiling slightly whilst looking at me, granting him the appearance of a slightly mad psychopath.

"So how has your day been?" Billie asked me, breaking his smile and the silence.

"Great. In a matter of a day I've been given a rockstar stepfather, lost the one person I could trust and rely on, and found out my mom is a soon to be bride. And how has your day been?" I said.

"Hope!" my mom said.

"Not risking hoping any more today, I might end up with Lucifer being my uncle," I said and took a bite out of the steak.

"You're not being very nice," she said to me, then turning to a smirking Billie she said, "She's not usually like this, she's really an angel-"

"That fell from heaven a long ass time ago and missed her chance at redemption not long after," I said taking another bite.

"HOPE!" she yelled and I dropped my fork.

Billie chuckled while my mom stared me down.

"He finds it funny," I said, pointing at Billie.

"He has a name," she grumbled, defeated.

This is going to be one long dinner.