My Stepdad, Billie Joe Armstrong (Daughter of Rage and Love)

No One Ever Died For my Sins in Hell

"I just tried to talk to her, and she seemed pissed off. Are you sure she likes my band?" I heard Billie ask my mom. Oh my God dude, it's not about your stupid band!

"Yeah, I'm 100% sure. She used to blast your music so loud the neighbors complained. One time it got so serious that the police had to come and have a conversation with us – she was grounded for like a week after that," mom said and laughed.

Yes, har de har har, it was a month, not a fucking week. Could you imagine spending an entire freaking month without your IPod, laptop and cellphone? I almost went insane.

I decided to stop eavesdropping and covered the hole in the wall with a BMTH poster. My mom's room was next to mine, and now Billie was staying there too...still trying to process that info while keeping disturbing images at bay.

Anyways, one time I got really angry for a reason I have long forgotten, and punched a hole through the wall, straight into my mom's room. She never got around to filling it in, and instead just hung a painting over it, and I hung a poster over mine. It was a great way of eavesdropping, but I guess it wasn't that good because I never saw the marriage with Billie coming.

I laid back on the bed and scratched my wrist absentmindedly. Being a self-harmer, I would continuously find myself glancing at my wrist – just to make sure all my cuts were covered. The last time I let the blade press its sweet cold metal against my skin was two days ago, and even now, you can see the cuts clear as day.

I glanced at my cell, checking the time, and saw that it was already 12. Time for my nightly TV shows. I'm an insomniac, been one since I was 12 – according to the doctors, it was because of my father's unexpected and untimely death. Whatever the reason, I didn't mind too much because I loved the night. Always have.

I creeped outside my room and put an ear against my mom's door. Everything was quiet which made me suspect that they went to sleep (so shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye, and sleep, just sleep!!). So I proceeded to creep downstairs, trying to make as little noise as possible, while trying not to trip and go flying down the stairs.

Reaching the living room, I flopped down on the couch and picked up the remote. Flipping through the channels, I settled on SpongeBob and got up, intending to grab a cupcake.

Flipping on the light, I came face to face with the green eyed Satan. Uttering an ear splitting squeal, I pushed him in the chest, and stumbled backwards.

"Holy shit Hope! I'm sorry, I thought you heard me come downstairs, are you okay?" he asked while reaching out to steady me. I shook his arms off and grumbled, "I'm fine," before walking past him and into the kitchen. I grabbed my cupcake and tried to steady my shaky hands.

He followed after me, of course, while continuing to apologize profusely.

"Billie, look I'm fine really," I said, turning to face his panic stricken face. This guy sure knows how to worry.

After 2 whole minutes of looking straight at me, not breaking gaze, not even blinking, I felt like I should point out his blunt staring. Before I could though, he suddenly asked, "Who's your favorite member from Green Day?"

Well isn't Mr. Congeniality just plain weird and blunt. What's it to him anyway? Does knowing that he's a favorite boost his ego or self-esteem or something?

"No it doesn't, I just wanted to know," he said, flashing me a smile. Shit, I didn't think I said that out loud.

"As a matter of fact, don't try to flatter yourself, it's not you, it never was you," I said, not breaking a sweat and pushing past him and into the living room.

Plopping down on the couch, I sighed contentedly, thinking I was finally alone, with Billie on his way up to my mom's room. I tried not to shudder at the mental images flashing through my mind at the thought of them being together, alone, in bed.

That is until I felt suspicious weight settle down next to me. Opening my eyes I was left staring in the face of Billie.

"So who is it?" he asked me happily.

"None of your beeswax," I muttered, taking a bite of the cupcake.

"Tell me!" he said, poking my arm and whining like a little kid. Now I can see with more clarity as to why my mom decided to exchange vows with this guy of all people.

He's the complete opposite of my dad, yet so much alike it actually hurts. The same childlike attitude – as if he was a kid trapped in an adult's body. But yet, he still had this matureness about him that only comes with age.

"Tre," I said, lost in thought. It took me a minute to register the fact that I had answered his question. And another minute to register the shock written all over Billie's face.