My Stepdad, Billie Joe Armstrong (Daughter of Rage and Love)

Your Lifeboat of Deception is Now Sailing

Billie seemed moody all throughout the next couple of hours. He played his guitar and sang just as masterfully as he always had (I hate him but I'm not going to lie), but there was definitely something wrong. The guys and I would exchange looks but we didn't know what to say to him.

After about half a day of them recording new songs and Billie-ness moodiness, they decided to finally call it a day. Packing away their instruments Tre wandered over to me and whispered, "What's gotten into him?"

I shrugged my shoulders for what seemed like a millionth time in the past couple of hours and looked over at Billie in wonder. He looked angrier than he had a couple of minutes ago and I wondered what crawled up his butt and died.

"Billie?" I called out to him just as he was in the process of storming out of the room.

He turned around and looked at me, making me reel back in dismay – his eyes seemed to reflect infinite sadness. Talk about bipolar.

"What's up?" he asked, a sad smile lighting his features.

"What's wrong? You seem...sad, and very angry. We're worried about you," I said and glanced behind me at the guys, who nodded their heads vigorously.

"Nothing important, I'll get over it, don't worry your pretty little heads about it...and I thought you hated my guts?" he said, smirking like the Billie I grew to know over the past couple days.

"Hey, I can still care you know, I'm not a completely heartless person," I said and crossed my arms.

"I didn't say anything sweetie," he said and ran his hand through his hair tiredly. Then he leveled me with his gaze and said, loud enough only for us to hear, "I need to tell you something...just not in here, they might hear,"

"Okay," I said mystified, and followed him out of the room.

He walked a couple feet away, then turned to me and said, "Your mom said that she's going to go over to her ex's house to get the rest of her documents,"

I nodded my head and looked at him, willing him to continue. He rolled his eyes and said, "She's going to her ex's house, don't you see?"

Seeing my blank expression he sighed and tried again, "What if she... y'know, cheats on me?"

"She's a lot of things, but she's not that," I said, trying hard to get rid of the images of Rey that involuntarily popped up in my head at the mention of cheating.

Billie looked at me seriously, then said, "I trust you know your mother, so I hope you're right,"

I harrumphed and rolled my eyes. I've lived with her since I was born, I should know a thing or two about her.

Just then Mike stuck his head out and called out to us, "Tre is licking my bass again, Billie restrain him while I use Hope as a shield,"

"I don't want to get licked by that weirdo!" I yelled at Mike.

"Everyone wants to be licked by Tre!" we heard him yell from deep inside the room, followed by maniacal laughter.

"I tend to disagree," Jason piped up from somewhere in the back.

"He is your favorite, so I suggest you get used to his weird, um, affection," Billie said and steered me back to the room.

***

Leaving the studio tired and licked we decided to grab a bite to eat. After much heated debate we settled on Chinese food.

I piled into Billie's car with Tre, Jason left stuck with Mike. Almost getting a ticket for racing and hitting a couple of passing by bikers we safely parked and got out of the car.

Sitting in a corner booth in one of the local Chinese restaurants, we patiently waited for our food. That is, I was patiently waiting for my food and chatting with Jason about music, and meanwhile Billie was texting profusely once again, looking angry as hell. Mike was building a small tower out of salt and pepper packets with so much concentration it looked like his life was on the line. Tre was drumming on the table with a fork and a spoon, and stopped only when I grabbed the utensils out of his hands. He pouted and gave me a look, then started bothering Mike by poking him everywhere. Eventually he toppled the quite impressive tower that Mike made, earning a look of pure hatred for Mike, strong enough to melt iron and steel. Tre cowered into his seat just as the waitress brought us our delicacies.

We all dug in, but Billie seemed to have lost all his appetite.

"You okay?" I asked him. He nodded his head and looked away. Ugh I know I shouldn't care, but why is there this nagging tumor like growth in the back of my mind that probes and pokes, telling me to worry about whether he'll be okay or not?

We finished our food pretty fast and before parting ways, I traded my phone number with Tre and Jason.

Then Billie drove us home, in total silence, the kind that settles in your bones, and we stumbled through the front door sometime after 10.

"Honey we're home!" Billie yelled, trying too hard to sound like one of those perfect American families. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and vomit at the same time, and walked past the living room, where my mom was waiting up for us.

"Hey honey," she said to Billie, her voice sickly sweet, trying to mask the fact that she was hiding something. I guessed I wasn't the only one to notice because I could literally see Billie's fur bristle as his eyes narrowed and the atmosphere changed for the worse. Better make a run for it now, before I get caught smack in the middle of this duel to the death.

I made a dash for the stairs, but just before I reached my room, I heard Billie raise his voice.

'Just like the good old times eh?' I thought as I slammed my door shut with enough force to rattle the windows. As if the force would somehow break the cycle of repetition and I, for once, will stop confining my mind behind steel bars of hurt and fear.