My Stepdad, Billie Joe Armstrong (Daughter of Rage and Love)

I Want to Take You Through a Wasteland I Like to Call My Home

"Why!" he whined.

"Cause. He's crazy," I said simply, realizing I answered his question yet again.

"Well blah, blah, blah, I can be crazy too...why don't you like me?" his last sentence directed my attention from the TV and to his face because it was packed with seriousness, sorrow, and curiosity, all at once. His face was like an open book, reflecting in time to all those emotions.

"Isn't it fucking obvious? You're intruding into our lives with your new quirks, rules, and God knows what else - maybe you're crazy for all we know. And then you expect me to just roll over and obey you like I'm some trained poodle," I hissed at him, seething with anger.

He seemed taken aback and said quickly, "But I don't propose any rules! I won't do that to you, it's too demanding - I'm not your father to do that, nor am I trying to be. If it came down to it, I would take your side over your mother's! I - "

"Why?" I asked, cutting him off midsentence. He looked at me, flabbergasted, and said, "Because I've always wanted a daughter, because...because...I know what it's like to be in your shoes. Trust me, I know how much it sucks having a random douche imposing new rules that you have to listen to and follow even though you don't even like him. I know exactly what it's like to be you and I'm trying so hard, I'm trying so goddamn hard because I like you and I want us to be friends because you seem like a really cool, intelligent kid,"

"Look-" I started to say, trying not to look as baffled as I felt, but he cut me off.

"I'm being so nice to you! And even if you never end up liking me, y'know I'm still gonna keep being nice to you because I like you!" he blinked his green eyes innocently at me in that way he does, alluding to an innocent 2 year old. I almost fell for it. Almost.

"Don't think that I don't know what you're doing," I said and looked away. "You see, you think you can blink those green eyes at me and I'll melt, just like my mom did. Well guess what, I won't,"

Then I leaned in close to his face, close enough to smell his aftershave, and said, "And another thing, I will never accept you as my stepfather. Ever."

"Don't think I'm going to just stop trying," Billie said and smiled, his eyes still sad. It hurt, but not enough for me to care.

I sighed and said, "Well good luck with that," trying to fight the impulse to smack him on the head.

"You're afraid of getting hurt again, aren't you?" he asked. I lost my calm, collected composure for a second, trying to figure out how the hell he got into my brain. But that wasn't enough for him, and he continued, "It's not about me replacing your dad, or even barging into your life with my new 'rules', is it?"

"SHUT UP! Just leave me alone!" I said and turned away from him.

Sighing, he said, "Fine. But I'm warning you, when I marry your mother, I'm going to love you like a real father would, and you can't escape from that,"

With that he got up and left, leaving me alone, all alone in front of the TV.