Divergent High: Starting Over

Chapter 22

Tobias's POV

I look at my clock and see that it's time to get ready for school. I didn't sleep at all last night. Or the night before. Or the night before that. Let's just say I haven't slept in awhile. I also haven't seen Tris since we broke up, and she hasn't been to school since then. I'm really worried about her. But I haven't called or texted her though. I want to. But I can't.

I roll out of bed with dread in my stomach and take a quick shower. I change into a wrinkled black shirt, rumpled jeans, and old black Converse. The perfect thing to wear because it matches my mood. I grab my stuff and walk downstairs to the kitchen. I sit down at the table.

"Hey son. How are you feeling?" Dad asks.

"Horrible," I say.

"Is it because of her?" he asks.

"Yep. It's because of her," I reply. We don't really say Tris's name anymore.

"Have you talked to her yet?" he asks.

"No. She hasn't been to school since our breakup. I'm really worried about her," I tell him.

"Don't worry too much. She probably just caught the flu or something," he says.

I go outside to get in my car. I get in and drive to school. I go inside and find my locker, which was actually pretty hard. I got lost a couple of times. I get my stuff and just stand there. My mind wanders off and starts to think about Tris.

Her beautiful hair. The way it shines in the morning sun. Her dazzling eyes. The way they twinkle in the twilight glow. Her lovely smile. The way it blinds everybody around. Everything about her. It's just. Stunning. I look up and see those dazzling blue-grey eyes staring in mine.

She's here. I know my eyes light up at the sight of her. She's so beautiful. I start to fall deeper and deeper into those eyes.

The eyes that can make me sink in a sea of mystery and beauty. The eyes that can make me fall into a deep abyss of uncertainty and faith. The eyes that give me hope in us. The us we used to be. The eyes that give me trust in the world. The world that doesn't have trust in me. The eyes that seem to hold me and comfort me each time I look in them.

The eyes that I love.

She tears her eyes away from mine and walks off. Crushing my soul a little more. Breaking my heart a little more. Destroying my mind a little more. I am broken. I am destroyed. I am crushed into dust.

I wipe away a tear that suddenly appeared on my cheek. I look around and go to my classroom. I sit down in the back and stare off into space. Mrs.Johnson walks up to me.

"Four. Are you ok? You're shaking," she says.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I reply.

"Ok," she says, not convinced, and walks off. I look over and see Uriah, Will, and Zeke looking at me. I turn away from them. I don't want to face them again. I don't want to face anyone anymore. I don't want to be here. Period.

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The bell rings, and I walk to the cafeteria. I go through the line and sit down at the table. I start picking at my food.

"Four. What has happened to you? You barely talk, you won't eat. Something's wrong," Zeke asks me.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," I answer.

"No you're not. You're shaking. You haven't been sleeping. And we know you've been crying. You're a mess," Will says.

"I'm fine," I say and wipe away yet another tear. Tris sits down at the table. I know. I don't even have to look up.