Dear No One (Girlxgirl)(Lesbian Story)(EDITIING)

A Constant War

Hey, guys it's little ole me posting another chapter. I know it's been a little while but not as long as those other times but still a while. But hey what can you do. I hope you guys enjoy this one. I enjoyed writing.

Enjoy.

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I wake up thinking about Dylan. I can't stop thinking about Dylan. It's been a couple of days since our last encounter yet I can't get her out of my head no matter how hard I try.

I know I shouldn't be because I'm supposed to be moving on, but it's hard to when she keeps doing the things that she does. How can she literally not talk to me at all and still make it so hard for me to get over her?

But I want to so much. It hurts sometimes just thinking about how much I used to like her and how our friendship was then and how it is now. I want that friendship with her back more than anything.

Usually I try not to, but my mind keeps going back to that day that she effortlessly took the notebook back from Jet and Luther. It reminded me about how we used to be and the first time she ever saved me. Those are the times that I always cherished. But I really want to move on. It is just hard.

It's like as soon as I look at her or she does something for me, I'm back to square one of trying to get over her. It was a vicious cycle that I was hoping to break. Hopefully with Caroline.

I feel that I am not putting myself out there enough so that Caroline would actually like me and give me the time of day. I am not one to put myself out there for a girl, but I feel like this calls for desperate measures. But I don't even know where to start.

For a moment, I thought about the mystery writer. Even though I just "met" this person, I felt like I could trust this person and ask them anything. If I were to ask about anything, it would be about this.

I hadn't talked to the person in a couple days from receiving the last letter because school, my job, and the boys were constantly in the way and I had no time.

I realized that I needed to make time. Especially if I am going to get advice from the mystery person, I can't keep them waiting. I needed help as soon as possible and this is the only way I will get that. I need to do it for myself. Pining over Dylan isn't helping anything, especially my love life.

Though I did have a small worry that I might have been rushing into things because of my need to not be alone anymore, but I pushed that worry aside because I did like Caroline but I never went for her because Dylan had been a big roadblock. Maybe instead of still chasing Dylan, I should really start chasing Caroline.

And I would do just that. First thing this morning, as soon as I see her. But maybe after I can think of something to say. I'm not really good at pressure and Caroline is pressure times ten.

I will think about what to say to her when I see her. Maybe it is an in the moment type of thing. I can't dwell on it now because there are things that I needed to take care of before I headed off to school.

Last night my mother got in the house pretty late, due to work and she seemed dead tired. I could tell from the way that her feet stomped on each step as she dragged her body up the stairs and from the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep when she poked her head into my room when she thought I was sleeping. The hall light that framed her face accentuated her tired features.

Guilt kept me from sleeping as easily as I wanted to after that. I wished that there were ways that I could help her keep a stable income in the home. I used to think about quitting school all the time because then it would allow more time within my day to get another job but I made it my mission to make something out of myself so that I can pay it all back to my mother and set her up pretty so she would never have to worry about anything again.