The rest of the day
flies by in
a blur
of numb detachment
and disbelief.
Even Seth's
constant pestering
and teasing
and overall bigotry
can't touch me.
I'm
invincible -
but broken
in too many places
and into too many pieces
for him to possibly
break me any further.
The weekend
passes blandly,
and I'm likewise
impervious
to my mother's
worried queries
and attempts
to cheer me up.
On Sunday,
it snows
for the first time
this year,
and I sit at the window
and blankly
watch the falling flakes
for longer than I
can keep track of.
It's been
years
since I've last
seen snow -
but my mind
is elsewhere
right now.
It's on
Matty,
only Matty -
always Matty.
I'm stuck on
the way she
pushed me
away
so completely,
and with such
a broken
expression,
as though she
had no choice
in the matter.
I would think that
she did -
except that I
don't know
what to think
any more.
I don't know
anything
besides the
trivial details
and vague excuses
she's fed me
all this time.
More than anything,
though,
I can't
get over
how
she didn't
seem
to care
how much
she'd
hurt me.
But maybe
this is why
I've pushed people
away
for so long.
I've always known
that those who
are closest to you
will do you
the most harm
in the end.
Maybe I didn't
want
to believe it,
though,
because Matty
has always seemed so
different
from everyone else
to me -
and I'd thought that
she was someone
who would
stand by me
to the end.
But I guess
I was wrong,
because she's gone now,
and it's left
a massive hole
in my heart
that I don't think
I'll be able
to repair
for quite a while.
In her absence,
I feel so
alone
and cold -
and I can't keep from
falling,
tumbling down
to earth
from my dreams
like the silent,
apathetic snowflakes
fluttering just beyond
my grasp.
×
Yo, here's some emotional Cam for you guys (more like emotionally dead, honestly). More to come in the future ;)
If you guys liked this chapter, I would love if you would vote and leave me some feedback below! It would be much appreciated! I would really love to hear what you guys think so far because I honestly think my writing has degraded some since I started this story but ??? maybe that's just me.
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Misalignment | ✔
Dla nastolatków"There are a million shades of grey between their black and their white - but no one ever cares to see them." In a world with a limited view of gender, Cam Shills struggles to come to terms with their identity as neither male nor female, a shade of...
