Misalignment | ✔

mistake

I'd gotten my
driver's license
just before we moved here,
but due to some
stupid law or
whatever,
both my mother and I
have to get a
new license
for this state.
It was bad enough
the first time,
with the cynical
secretary
who questioned
every piece of information
I gave to her -
and seeming not to
hear any of it,
even when I repeated
everything
at least six times in a row.

At least I don't have to
take the test again.
That's some consolation.

It's a short drive down
to the DMV
from our house.
My mother plays
Billy Joel and Genesis
from a playlist
on her phone
and sings along
in her tone-deaf,
out of tune style.
I can't help but smile,
as always,
at how quirky
and careless
and happy
she is -
just the opposite of me,
who takes after my
quiet, introverted father
in more ways than one.
I've always envied her
because I have always
hated
to be reminded of the man
who left my mother with
almost nothing
and abandoned us
without a second thought.
I've never understood
why I couldn't be
a brighter
and more outgoing
kind of person,
like she is.

I'm still smiling
when she runs a red light
seconds later -
and as a result,
we are nearly hit
by a moving van
crossing the intersection
ahead of us.
My good mood
doesn't last long
after that incident.

At this rate,
maybe she should
retake her driving test
while we're at
the DMV...

My mother
smiles sheepishly at me
as I yell at her
for putting us in danger
and nearly getting us killed
again.

The receptionist
at the DMV
seems pleasant enough
as we walk in;
she calls out a greeting
from her desk
with a small smile.
My mother explains
our request
and pulls the required paperwork
out of her purse
in rapid succession.

When I'd filled mine out
yesterday,
I'd noticed that next to the
gender options of
'male' and 'female',
there was an 'other' option -
and I had immediately
(and somewhat violently)
marked it in.
Now, the lady
at the front desk
examines our papers,
casts one sharp look
up at me
that makes me shiver,
and drawls:
"Honey,
I think you might have
filled in the wrong
box.
Male is right here,
right next to
the one you filled in.
But don't worry -
it's a common enough
mistake."

I want to scream
a protest
at her smug little face,
but my mother's hand
on my arm
stops me short.
Quickly and quietly,
she sets out to explain
how I had not made
any mistake
on my form,
while I stand there
fuming
and trying my best
not to let my irritation
get out of hand.
This is why
I hate these places
and these types of situations.
They never seem to understand
that I am not
who they think I am.

The secretary still
looks rather confused -
and quite put out
as well -
by the time my mother
has finished.
Shall I explain it to you
in simpler terms,
miss?
I am neither
male nor female,
and I checked neither
of those two boxes
on purpose.
I made no mistake.
Mind your own business,
please.

I'm in a bad enough mood
from my mother's
reckless driving
and from having to
take care of this
yet again,
especially since I
already knew
how stressful
it would be.
My gender was mistaken
last time
as well,
and we'd had a
hard time
convincing the obstinate lady
working there -
as well as her boss -
that I was not the gender
they had placed me in.
It was a nightmare.

I must look
pretty pissed off,
because the secretary
narrows her eyes
at me
as she types our information
into her computer.
I can't say
that I enjoy
her silent criticism
any more
than I could stand it
aloud.

We finally leave
with our new Ohio
license cards -
and I say finally
because I think I might
have gone insane
if we'd had to stay a second
longer.
I quickly tuck mine
into my wallet
before I can lose it
and make sure my mother
does the same,
since she's more likely
to misplace it,
and therefore
get into a lot of trouble.

As I put mine away,
I catch a glimpse of
the information
printed on it
(as well as the
ugly picture
they'd taken of me for it
today).

Next to the word 'gender'
is an
M.
That explains the secretary's
smirk
as we'd walked out...

With a groan,
I throw my wallet
into the backseat
just as my mother
suggests that we get
ice cream
to celebrate
today's accomplishment.

×

DMV's are really irritating. Just saying. I honestly can't stand them any more than Cam can, even if I don't have as much of a problem with my gender there as they do. But seriously, too bad they don't have a demigirl option, or else I'd get that on my license;;;

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