Misalignment | ✔

flames

"So,
how long have you
known my mother?"

My opening question
is spoken as
we seat ourselves
in the living room -
Stacey on our
lumpy couch,
and myself on
the armchair adjacent.
I wish I could have just
escaped to my room
instead,
as Stacey's opening remark
hadn't made a
very nice first impression,
but my mother
evidently wants me to
'play nice,'
and keep her friend company,
so I have no choice
but to comply.

"I met her
a couple months after
she started at HNC,"
Stacey soon explains,
naming the company
that I don't like
purely because of
how many times
it has forced my mother
to pack us up and move.
"So maybe
two or three
months, now.
She's a very...
interesting woman,
your mother."

That's true enough -
but I don't
like the way
she says it.
"How so?"
I ask,
though I can guess at
what she means.

"Well..."
Stacey takes a
few moments
to find her words.
"She's her own person,
very unique.
I've never met
anyone quite like her
before.
She's one of the
nicest and
most caring people
I've ever known,
but she knows how
to get her job done
as well.
I look up to
your mom
a lot."

I can appreciate
her sentiments
in that regard -
but the expression
on her face now
is rather strange,
and contradicts
the platonic affection
that her words seem to
hint at.
Instantly,
I'm suspicious -
and as such,
I don't think
at all
before blurting out:
"Who are you
to my mother?
What is your
relationship
with her?"

Stacey looks
rather taken aback
by my sudden question
(and maybe a little
alarmed
as well),
but before
she can respond,
a loud shriek
comes from the kitchen -
and it's
all too obvious
who its source is.
Immediately,
both Stacey and I
jump up,
nearly in sync,
and rush to the scene.

My mother is
frantically
flapping a dishtowel
at the oven
when I burst in
first -
the oven,
which is
spouting flames
in a catastrophic show
that one would only
expect to see on
a television program.
It would be
a rather comical sight,
if not for the danger that
a flaming oven
typically presents.

Stacey,
dodging out from
behind me,
yells out something
incoherent
before rushing over
to the sink.
"Stay back!"
she calls to us
as she rummages
through a cabinet.
"I can put it out!
I'm a
volunteer firefighter!"

I'm almost certain that
she's never had
any experience with a
kitchen fire,
judging from her
first course of action.
Before she can even
fill her measly
water glass,
I've already
kicked the oven door shut
and turned it off.

"Don't you get
anywhere near it
with that,"
I warn her when
she returns to
the scene of the incident.
"If you're a firefighter,
you should know better
than to try and
put out a
grease fire
with water."

"But water
puts out fires!"
she protests loudly.
"It's science!"

"And it's also science
that water is
physically incapable of
putting out a grease fire!"
I can feel myself
starting to get
even more irritated
by the second.
Why am I arguing
with a grown woman?
"The only thing
you can do to
put out a grease fire
is to kill its
oxygen supply.
Water and grease
don't mix, so
water won't put it out.
That's why I
shut the oven door,
Ms. Volunteer Firefighter."

Flabbergasted,
Stacey only stares
as I storm
out of the room,
thoroughly put out
by her lack of
common sense
and her
childish protests
both.
In the distance,
I can hear the
quiet echo of
my mother's laughter
as she pulls
the ruined food
from the smoking oven
and attempts to calm
her flustered coworker down.

Had I been
in a better mood,
the entire situation
may have made me laugh -
but as it is,
it's I can do to
calm myself down enough
to start on my homework.

×

The volunteer firefighter line gets me every time, rip. Stacey is a riot. And by that, I mean that she's nearly as airheaded as Flory, which is quite a feat in and of itself. Snaps for her.

Anyway, I would love to know everyone's opinion on her now that she's shown her true colors. Well, mostly, I guess. Personally, I sort of like her because she's a little like Flory, but that's about where it ends. At least Flory knows enough by now to let Cam put out her kitchen fires. At least her ego isn't larger than her brain.

If you guys liked this chapter, I would love if you would vote and leave me some feedback below! It would be much appreciated c: