"Oh,"
is all I can say
for a minute.
Silence falls
between us,
in which time
Matty plays
with her hair
and turns her pencil
around in her hands
and avoids my eyes.
"You really
don't have to."
I tell her
at last,
in spite of the fact
that my curiosity
about the reason
behind it all
is still
eating away at me.
"I mean,
you must have had
a good reason
for it-"
"No,"
she interrupts,
"I didn't.
That's the problem.
You're my friend,
and I should have
let you try and help
instead of
lying to you
and shutting you out.
So I'm sorry -
I really am."
And I can tell
with a single glance
how sincere
her apology is.
It doesn't fix
all the pain
she'd put me through,
of course,
but it helps.
I can also tell
that she doesn't want
any false words
of consolation
from me,
so I only say,
"Well,
it's over now,
right?"
"Yeah..."
She doesn't look
too convinced,
which worries me
more than a little.
But before
I can say
anything more,
she takes a deep breath,
as if steeling herself
for something
I can't see.
"Truth is,"
she blurts out,
meeting my gaze
at last,
"I've been having
issues
with my family -
I've been living
at my aunt's
for the past month
or so.
I really didn't know
how to cope with it
at first,
or even bring it up.
That doesn't excuse
anything,
I know-"
"Your parents
kicked you out?"
I ask
incredulously -
and I must look
as shocked as
I sound,
because she winces
and then looks away.
I could never imagine
anyone like Matty
having problems with
anyone,
let alone her family.
She's too
sweet
and considerate
and good
for that.
"We have
different opinions
on a lot of things,"
she feebly explains
after a moment.
"My mom is
a very devout Buddhist,
and my dad and
older brother
aren't much different.
My sister and I...
aren't, really,
and our differences
in opinions
have split our family
apart lately.
They didn't exactly
kick me out, though;
I left
to avoid any more conflict.
My sister is moving out
soon, too,
and then I'll go live-"
"You can't
be serious,"
I interrupt again,
earning a
reproachful look
from Matty.
"What happened to
not running away?
Even if you have
a difference in opinions,
that shouldn't change how
they feel about you,
right?"
There's a wealth
of sadness
and fatigue
and pain
in her dark eyes
as I look at her.
She seems so
small and afraid
sitting there,
and it upsets me
to know
that there is nothing
I can do
to change that.
There's nothing
at all
that I can do for her.
"That's not how
the world works,"
she murmurs,
almost too low
for me to hear.
"I wish it did -
I really do,
but if they're so
dead set
against who I am,
against me..."
"You have to
show them
that who you are
isn't all wrong,"
I say,
echoing one of
my mother's many
motivational speeches.
"They won't know
unless you tell them."
The sad smile
she casts me in reply
nearly breaks my heart
in two.
"Too bad it's not
that easy,"
she whispers.
"If only
it was..."
×
3K 3K 3K HAPPY WHATEVER THIS IS--
As promised, an extra chapter for today!! I honestly couldn't care less about numbers, but the amount of support this story has received still continues to astound me... Thanks a ton, you guys. This one's for you.
Speaking of - angst, anyone??? Dunno about y'all, but the end makes me scream. There goes my heart, I guess I didn't need it anyway, Matty...
If you guys liked this chapter, I would love if you would vote and leave me some feedback! It would be very much appreciated c:
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Misalignment | ✔
Jugendliteratur"There are a million shades of grey between their black and their white - but no one ever cares to see them." In a world with a limited view of gender, Cam Shills struggles to come to terms with their identity as neither male nor female, a shade of...
