Misalignment | ✔

norm

The school year is passing
much more quickly
than I would have thought
possible.
It's November now,
nearly Thanksgiving;
Halloween has come
and gone,
a blurred disappointment
consisting of
Matty not answering
my texts,
my mother's venting
about how horrible
her date was
the other night,
and Seth and his crew
claiming that they were
dressed up as
yours truly -
"But oh, wait,
I would never
dress up as a
queer
for Halloween!"
Their laughter,
of course,
soon followed.

Though I've never been
a huge fan of
Halloween,
it was rather
irritating
that even a holiday
could be used
against me.
Overall,
the whole ordeal
was just
tiring and
annoying,
more than anything.

Matty has been
avoiding me,
I finally work out -
a product of watching
as she scurries away
after catching sight
of me
in the hallways,
which is obviously quite
out of the ordinary.
I don't know what
this whole thing
is all about,
but it's honestly
really disheartening
that my best friend -
my only friend, really -
won't even
look my way
when I need her the most.

Some part of me
wonders
if she's caught wind
of all the
'queer' rumors
about me
circulating through
the student population,
and if they are to blame
for her sudden distance.
I wouldn't blame her -
but I had thought
that she was better
than that
and wouldn't just
walk away
without a proper explanation.
She wouldn't,
I'm convinced.

Well -
mostly convinced.
Part of me
really doesn't know
what to think,
because this
kind of thing
has happened
so many times before
that it has become
the norm
when I move from
school to school.

While I imagine
that Matty has
her own problems
to deal with
that warrant her sudden
need for solitude,
I can't imagine why
she would run away
from anyone who could
help her -
because I would do my best
to help
if I could,
should she allow me to.
But I can't do
anything
now -
and that's what frustrates me
the most.

I can't do anything
but fall back
into that hopeless
loneliness
that I'd thought
I had escaped from
this long while -
but evidently
had not.

×

And here we have the first bits of drama forming - oh, but don't worry. The real deal will be coming in the next couple days B) If it doesn't make anyone cry, I will tear my eyes out I swear to god--

Okay, it's probably really obvious that I'm tired from work at the moment. I won't actually tear out my eyes, okay? I'm not insane, I swear...

If you guys liked this chapter, I would really appreciate if you would vote and leave me some feedback below!