Wild Ride - The Alternative Version (Book 2)

Chapter 64~It Is What It Is

*3 Days Later*

When Thursday came around, I felt like complete shit. I've barely spoken to Dad at all, which is unsurprising. But the pain has gotten so unbelievably terrible that it's just started exploding out of me in random bursts. I've snapped at my friends and scared them with my unusual behavior, I've been incredibly rude to some of my teachers and landed myself a few demerits and nearly a detention all in three days, I've picked on kids who look at me a certain way, and I feel bad about none of it. There's this one kid, a guy named Brad who's a real asshole and likes to make fun of me for what seems to be no reason at all, and his girlfriend likes to join in even if he's not around. Today he mocked my 'angry face' in math and I threw my ruler at him, nearly clothes-lining him with it. That's how I almost got a detention, and just wound up with another demerit for Dad to sign when I get home. I expected Dad to get upset about it the first time I got a demerit on Tuesday, but he didn't. He just signed it and let me go, and he did that every time I came home with them, so today should be no different.

I'd sat with Dustin on the bus as usual, but today he was really quiet, which he has been lately. I don't know why, he doesn't really say much if I ask him. Usually his excuse is that he's tired or something, so I just don't push it. It's not like he absolutely must talk to me. 

We were getting off the bus and stepping into my driveway when he said, "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." 

I just kind of looked at him for a minute, not liking the way he said that. "You guess? What's that supposed to mean?"

Dustin shrugged. "I dunno. You're just... different lately, and I'm not sure that I like it."

"Different how? Last time I checked, I'm still Abigail Sullivan." 

"Yeah, but you're not the same Abigail Sullivan. You're angry all the time, you keep getting in trouble on purpose and you don't even care, you yell at your friends for no reason, you've been bullying kids who have never done a thing to you and even if they had, you shouldn't do it anyway. You're not the same person I grew up with right now." He said, and I felt a shock of pain, but then I just felt angry.

"Well I'm sorry I'm not bursting with love and happiness while my parents go through a divorce, my little sister's scared of me, I can't feel anything but pain, and while I get bullied by that Brad asshole for no reason. Oh yeah, there's so much to fucking smile about!" I snapped at him, this being the first time I've snapped at him in particular.

"C'mon, Abbie, I didn't mean it like that. Don't get mad." He pleaded, suddenly seeing he'd upset me.

"Don't get mad!? Are you kidding!? Now the one person I thought wouldn't leave me is doing that exact thing! The one person I need the most at the moment!"

"I'm not leaving you! I'm just trying to get you to see what you're doing before it's too late!" 

"But you are leaving! Don't you understand that I'm this way because I'm in so much pain that I can't do anything but hurt and push people away? I can't do anything about it, it's not my fault! You don't know what happened while I was gone, Dustin. You don't know the kind of shit I've been put through in the last five years. But whenever I'm with you, all of that pain just seems to magically go away. You make it better, and that's why I need you the most, but you just lied to me when you said you were there for me." 

"I didn't lie to you, I swear! Abbie, I--" I wouldn't let him go on.

"Save it, I don't need to hear anything else, I've got enough pain to deal with already, I don't need you adding more to it. Maybe you would've been better off if you'd found a new best friend." I turned and walked off towards the house, leaving him there. He called my name but I didn't look over my shoulder at him. Right now, after what just happened, I want nothing to do with him.