Run Away From The Pain

Remember, Walking in the Sand.

I was sitting on the couch in the tour bus that the boys showed me to. 
It's been three days since I was released from the hospital. 
I've done nothing but try and wrap my head around the whole situation that put me there in the first place..
No one would tell me, for fear that it would strike up bad memories. 

"Steven, just fucking tell her..." Joe sighed. "It'll be better if we just get it off our chests."

"No dude!" He snapped back "She's fine now! There's no point in bringing up the past, that she doesn't even remem-"

My eyes grew wide with shock, as I gasped, cutting Steven off. 
They both stared at me, panic swimming through their eyes. 

"I remember!" I almost screamed, which silenced the whole bus.
Tom, who was lying across one section of the boothed table, stopped playing the bass, and sat up, looking at me intently. 
Brad woke up from the commotion, yawning, and Joey stopped eating, pausing with a mouth full of food. 

"I remember...." I said again, replaying the memories in my mind. "You......You're Aerosmith...."
I said, looking at each of them. "You're Brad Whitford, Joey Kramer, Tom Hamilton, Joe Perry, and Steven Tyler..."

Steven's eyes lit up at the mention of his name, knowing that I could fully remember him.

"I met you after I ran away from him.... You......... I hid in your dressing room, and you offered me a ride home, as long as I finished the tour with you guys... And... And we all slept in a big bed together at the hotel in San Diego, because I was scared after a bad dream."

One by one, a large smile grew on each of their faces.
"You took me shopping, and made me your little rag doll." I chuckled a bit. "I.... you.... You kissed me." I said, turning to Steven. "In the ambulance.... it freaked me out, and made me feel like shit, because I know I could never be normal and love you that way you want me too, even though I want to, more than anything... And.. And the fight...."

Their smiles were quickly replaced by concerned, and baffled frowns. 
"I smoked your weed, and.. and you got mad.... You were really high, and you tried to hit me." Tears were streaming down my face, but I tried to breathe, and hold them back. "I ran to your dressing room, and locked you guys out... then.... then I snorted it... all of it... didn't I?" 
I questioned, looking around me at the group of baffled men sitting before me. 

"I'm so sorry." Steven sighed, staring directly into my gold eyes. 

"Don't be." I smiled a little "I'm happy. I remember. And.... and I'm free. He's in jail, and I don't have to worry about being followed everywhere we go, now." 

They all sighed in relief, and went back to their activities. 
Except for Steven, he came and sat down next to me, on the couch opposite of the one he was just sitting in. 

"So... You want to try and love me, more than anything?" He whispered, staring directly into my eyes. 
His pools of chocolate made me melt in everyway.

"That's all you caught?" I joked a little. 

"No... But that seemed like the most important part..." He smiled a little. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucked up." I sighed, and looked down. "It couldn't happen the way you'd want it too..."

"I wouldn't care how it happens, I just want to try it..." He smiled, never taking his gaze off of mine. "You, know?"

"Yeah... I know." I sighed. I knew this would be my only chance to lay all the cards on the table for him.  "I'm.... I'm just scared. I don't know if I can trust you. I.... I haven't actually ever been with a guy before... not by my own will...." I paused, letting my words sink into him. 

"I understand...." He smiled, though his eyes seemed sad. "I'll be there, whenever you're ready."