Run Away From The Pain

Dancing With The Devil

"Hey good lookin'." Steven grinned over at me, clearly attempting to make me smile. "What'cha got there, cookin'?" 
I cracked a slight smile, but went back to staring out the window of the 72' Camaro Steven was driving. 
He rented it for the day so he could take me to go see him, before we left Vegas.

"Come on, don't be so nervous.. Everything will turn out okay." He smiled warily. "Sometimes you gotta boot it out, just go ahead, dance without me. Set it free." 

"Those are good..." I murmered, looking at the barren fields of brown dust we were passing. 

"What are?" He asked, quizzically. 

"Aren't those lyrics?" I turned to look at his face. 
His beautiful, beautiful face honestly made me smile, no matter how bad of a mood I was in. 
His jaw line was so perfect, and his cute little nose, and those gorgeous smoldering eyes... 
I couldn't get enough of him, which is sad, because most of the time, I run away as if I've already had too much. 

"No." The edges of his pale lips twitched up into a grin. "But they will be." 

We sat in silence for a few more minutes, until the fields of dust turned into gray slabs of concrete. 
We were getting closer and closer, and finally, I saw the entrance to the hospital. 

I began to shake nervously, and it was clear that I was adjitated. 
"fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck." I muttered, almost like a mantra.

"Calm down, You'll be fine." He smiled, and grasped my hand a little bit, only to let go again, so we could get out of the car. 
I walked around the smooth yellow body of the car, until I met up with Steven at the hood. 
He held out his hand for me to grasp. 
I took his hand in mine, and he slowly intertwined his fingers with mine, in almost a protective sort of way. 

We walked up to the front desk of the hospital, and with a shaky voice I began to speak. 
"M-ma'am..?" I stuttered. 

"Yes, dear?" The plump older looking woman, looked up from her bifocals. Her red hair was flicked up into a large bun, and her lips were painted with a color that matched her hair. She was grinning politely, and I could see a smudge of lipstick on her snaggle tooth. 

"Umm.... I'm here to see someone... Umm... I think his name is Richard... uhh... Richard Hainsworth, I think?" I mumbled. 

"Okay dear, hold on one moment." She smiled and glanced down at the filing system on her messy desk. She rumaged through some papers, and then gabbed a pin off of her desk. "He's in room 235, and here's your visitors pass." She said, handing me the plastic button. 

"Thank you." Steven smiled, and tugged me towards the elevator. 
If he hadn't I probably would've stayed right there, frozen in place with fear. 

Once we'd gotten into the elevator, My breathing hitched in my throat, and I instantly began to panic. 
Why was I here?! What was I doing?!
Ding!
The elevator doors slowly creaked open, and Steven pushed me out, pulling me down the hallway, while searching for the correct room number, under the dim lighting. 

"233...234..... Ahh... here we go. 235." He mumbled to himself. "You ready baby? You can do this."

"fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck." I kept repeating my mantra. 
I rested a hand on the cool metal of the door knob, and took a deep breath, then summoning all the courage I could possibly have, opened up the door. 

The room was cold and darkly lit. There was a police officer sitting in a chair a few feet from the hospital bed. 
My eyes instantly averted from the policeman, and onto the figure who was lying on the bed. 
He was strapped down to the cold metal frame of the unnecessarily large hospital bed. 
I stood completely still, drinking in his features, that I've never noticed before. 

His carmel hair was dirty, and shaggy. He had very pale skin, (probably from all the blood loss), and was actually quite unattractive. 
He seemed creepily familiar.... not like the 'oh-you're-my-kidnapper' sort of familiar, but the like.. 'I've-seen-you-prior-to-my-kidnapping' kind of familiar. 

I noticed the damage I've done;
His right eye was swollen to the point where he couldn't open it, and I'm sure he'll probably be blind in that eye for the rest of his life. His lips were busted up; cracked and bleeding.
His nose though... his nose was the worst. It was broken in such an indescribably sickening position. 
It was like, half of it was pushed back into his face, and the other half was broken to the side, so his face now seemed weirdly deformed. 
It was truly terrifying. 
I'm not the type to do this. I wouldn't hurt a fly.
Yes, he deserved it completely... but for some reason, seeing him so vunerable, and broken, and know that I was the one who did it.... that completely broke me inside. 

An unwanted tear streamed down my cheek.
Steven must've noticed because he squeezed my hand a little tighter, for support. 

Suddenly the door opened, causing both Steven and I, as well as the officer, to look towards it. 
A taller looking man, with a long white robe, and a stethescope around his neck, walked in holding a chart in his hand.

"Hello, I'm..... Richard's Doctor." He paused looking down at the chart for clarification on who exactly, the patient was. 

"Hi." I muttered, looking down at my shoes. 

"Would you like to know the damage?" He asked, causing me to look up at him. "I'm assuming that you're family, or friends, or relatives of some sort?"

"Uhh.... not exactly." I sighed. 

"Oh... May I ask your relation to him then? The things I'm about to tell you are confidential between the doctor, patient, and family/friends.... It's usually a need to know basis only, based on patient-doctor confidentiality." 

"Uh.... well, he kidnapped me..." I began to tear up. "I was the one who put him here.... I need to know the damage, so If I'm called to court..." I trailed off, choking up. 

"Oh.. I see." He muttered, and then looked down at his chart again, then returned his gaze to me. "His nose is entirely broken. The force that was applied to his nose, was applied in such a unique way, that when his nose broke, it split in two, leaving half of it to break normally. A normal break if usually to either side of the face, which can be easily repaired. You how ever, managed to break the other half of his nose in, which is potentially fatal."

I gasped. I knew it... I killed him. 
"Fuck... I'm going to jail..." I sighed, and stumbled down into a chair, next to the police officer.

"Surprisingly," The Doctor cut me off. "His break didn't fully punture the brain... He will however, be in a coma. We don't know how long it will be until he comes too, and we don't know, and will not know, the extent of his brain damage, until he wakes up. He will live, and I can assure he, when he wakes up, he'll be going to jail." He smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you." I sighed. 

"That's great, Alex. You're not going to get in any trouble, now." Steven knelt down in front of me, looking me in the eye. 

"But.... but still... look at what I've done... I almost killed a man." I whimpered. "I don't care who he is... I've never caused harm to anyone like this before. This isn't me..." 

"It was completely necessary. Look at that prick... he almost fucking killed you." He was getting angry. He always gets adjitated when theres even a question on my safety. "He caused so much damage to you.. he deserved it. You're the sweetest, most kindhearted person alive, and you wouldn't hurt a soul, unless you were being threatened... and you were. Calm down... this isn't your fault. He provoked you."

"I guess so." I smiled a little. 

"Now let's go. We've gotta get back on the bus, and head out to Colorado." He laughed a little and raised his eye brows playfully, which made me chuckle a little. "We've got a long drive ahead of us."

He grabbed my hand, and lead me out of the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been three hours into the trip to Colorado, and I was already so bored I could cry. 
I wish I had a book or a magazine or something to read, or even a game to play. 
There was nothing to do but sleep, or eat whatever was left over in the tiny ice box we had underneathe the bunkbed area. 
I leaned my head back against the couch, and let out a long exasperated sigh. 

"Don't worry, we've only got 9 more hours to go.." Steven laughed a little, peeking up from the pages of lyrics he was scrawling all over. 

"Jesus..." I yawned "When are we gonna get there?" 

"Around 7 or 8 a.m tomorrow, I think.." Joey sighed. "Such a long drive... I don't know why we just don't fly."

"Guys... we should buy a private jet!" Tom jumped off of his bunk, with a loud thud. 
I chuckled a little at the idea of living so lavashly, that the band would actually get a private jet. 

"Too bad we don't have the money for it.... Steven spends it all on blow.." Brad mused. "Speaking of which...." He paused, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a little plastic baggy, with a ball of white powder, packed tightly. 
"Wanna party?" He grinned. 

Steven, Joe, and Brad all jumped up at the sight of the 8 ball. 
"Fuck yeah!" They all giggled like little kids. 

"You in, Alex?" Joey called over to me. 
I loved the feeling of the high. It was so great, but honestly, I knew something about this wasn't right. 

"Nahh..." I exhaled. "I'm gonna pass."

"Since when do you pass up a party?" Brad scoffed.

"Since I don't feel like dancing with the devil tonight...It's been a long, and tiring day.." I teased back. "I'm just gonna knock out..."
I got up, and shuffled to the back of the bus, where the tiny bedroom is. 
I turned around really quickly to see Steven staring at me in shock, he seemed to shake his head as if he was trying to get rid of a bad thought, then he went back to cutting up the white powder on the small booth table infront of him. 

"Night guys." I sighed as I closed the door behind me. 
I flopped down on the bed, and instantly shut my eyes, drifting into a deep sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"They visited me again, tonight." I mumbled, as I sat up, rubbing my tired eyes. 
I noticed I was still in the tiny bedroom of the darkened bus. 
It was pitch black, so I was assuming I still had multiple hours to sleep, or at least until we got to Colorado. 

"What was that?" I head a voice coming from outside the closed door. 
Suddenly it opened, and Steven poked his head in. "Did you say something?"

I squinted at his fuzzy complexion, letting my eyed adjust to the dim light that was shining through the cabin of the bus. 

"N...No." I yawned. "I was just talking to myself I guess."

"Ohh... Okay." He mumbled, turning back towards the bus. 
I was ready to lay my head back down on the pillow when he stopped in his tracks, and said something that caught me off guard. "You've been talking to yourself alot lately.... You okay?"

"Yeah..." I groaned. "I'm fine."
All he could do was give me a funny look, as I laid my head back down onto the pillow, and shut my eyes; letting my world go black.