Run Away From The Pain

The Princess Of Practicalities.

I've been in Samarinia for about two months.
What has Aerosmith been doing since my departure?
They've been getting along fine without me.
They even released a new album... 
It's called Rocks and I adore it. 

What have I been doing since then?
"Training" to become a princess. 

"This is such bullshit.." I muttered under my breath, as I sat behind a large wooden desk, reading some book about my 16th century ancestors. 

"What was that?" My mother never tore her gaze off of the literature she held in her palm. 

"Nothing..." I sighed. 

"That's what I thought you said.." She smirked. 

Eventually, I got fed up. I was donzo.. I've had enough.
"That's it..." I flipped the front cover over, so the book slammed shut, as I stood up from the heavy wooden chair I've been sitting on for the past 2 hours. "I'm done... I can't do this any more. This is so impractical... So I moved into the palace, and I'm of royal blood.... That doesn't mean I actually want to be a princess! I'm so bored I'm literally about to jump off the bridge."

"It's reinforced, bulletproof glass honey..." She laughed. "Jump all you want, you're going nowhere."

"Yeah yeah yeah..." I huffed. "I'll be in my room." 

I walked past the magnificent bookshelves, filled to the brim with every kind of literature imaginable, and out of the study. 

Like beginning your freshman year of high school, the building seems huge, and it seems almost impossible to remember where everything is, but after a while, I got the hang of it.
I managed to make the 15 minute walk from the front foyer of the palace, to my bedroom, into a 5 minute walk. 

I swiftly made my way to the red-walled bedroom, and shut the door behind me. 
I did my usual routine;
Kicked my shoes off, ( My mother made me wear shoes in the house because she thought it was repulsive and unladylike to be barefooted or sockfooted, in the house, though she's being absurd.)
And ran over to the record player I kept on my desk.

My record player is now my prized possession, and I'd literally break down if anything happened to it.
It was the very first thing I bought, when I came to Samarinia.

I slid Rocks out of it's sleeve, and gently placed it on the spindle of the player, and then turned it on. 

"I'm dreaming tonight
I'm living back home
Right!

Take me back to a south Tallahassee.
Down cross the bridge to my sweet sassafrassy
Can't stand up on my feet in the city
Gotta get back to the real nitty gritty"

Last Child, was the song that Brad and I made a joke about that night I went out to dinner with my 'rents.
It brought back such memories, and actually made me pretty upset, now that I thought about it..

"Fuck... I can't listen to this.." I sighed, and changed the record to the latest Eagles album, which began to play one of my favorites on the album; Hotel California.

I plopped down on my bed, and leaned back, taking in the sweet sounds of Joe Walsh's slide.
Almost instantly, I had to get up again, as I heard a knock on the door. 

"Who is it?" I called out, over the music.
No answer....

"Who is it?!" I called again, louder. 

"Honey, it's your mother... can you open the door for a minute?" Her melodic voice seeped through the crack underneathe the door.

"Fine..." I groaned, rolled off the bed, and shuffled to the door.

"What?" I asked again, as I opened the door, annoyance shooting out, like little daggers from my golden eyes. 

"Ace, we have guests.." She peeked over towards the end of the hall, which I should've seen as a suspicious thing to do, but I brushed it off. "Would you please come down stairs, and meet us in the grand entertainment room?" 

"If it's that girl from the market that's been following me around, and calling me her best friend.. you can just tell her to shove it up her sorry a-" 

"Anastasia!" My mother cut me off. "That's no way for a Princess to speak!"

"I'm not a real princess...." I mumbled under my breath. "But whatever.. I really don't want to see that group of people anymore... They try to butter me up and act like they know so much about me, and it's annoying... I don't want to see them." 
I leaned up against the door, and let out a long exasperated sigh.

"Sometimes... I wonder how things would've turned out if I had just stayed... If I had just listened to Steven..." I swallowed. "Do you think I would've been happy?"

"It's hard to say, darling..." A melancholy smile cracked her gorgeous appearance. "But we do have guests, so... are you willing to crawl out of your cave, for once, and come say hello?"

"sure, I guess." I sighed, and turned around, closing the door.
I shuffled back over to my bed, and plopped down face first, into the mountain of soft pillows, allowing Joe Walsh's guitar, and Don Henley's melodies to swirl around me.

"Last thing I remember, I was running for the door. I had to find a passage back to the place I was before." I sang along to the lyrics that could most precicely describe, basically my whole life. " 'Relax' said the night man... 'We are programmed to receive. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!" 
I pretended to play the air guitar, falling in love with each note that was played.
"Na na na na noooooooow nanana, nananana nnoooowoop." 

"Anastasia, don't make our guests wait!...." 
I groaned and slid off the bed, and zippered up my black combat boots, so Isabella wouldn't be so grouchy about not wearing my shoes in the house. 
I could hear the heels of my boots clicking against the cold marbled floors, and I floated through the foyer, and down the hallway of the main entrance to the palace. 

Eventually, I found the Grand Entertainment Room, which I just called the Grrrr. 
I paused at the closed door and knocked.

"Mom? Dad?" I called out, hoping they would answer. 

"Come in, kiddo." My father called through the heavy wooden door. 
I rested my palms on the golden handle for a moment, and then turned it downwards until I heard the familiar click of the door unlocking. 

I peered down at my feet as I opened the door, to ensure that I wasn't going to trip over myself infront of our guests. 
As I made my way into the room, I peeked up at the audience in front of me. 

The room was filled with people I've never seen before; distant relatives I've never heard of or seen. 
The maids and butlers were in the room, as well as the cooks and grounds keepers. 

"What's the occassion?" I asked, sitting next to my mother and father, and brother on one of the plush couches infront of the audience of people. 

Behind the throng of people, was a large blue curtain, which covered up the closed glass terrace we had attached to the room. 

"Well... first thing's first." My mother spoke up. "Anastasia Cecilia Elena Dawson, I'd like to formally introduce you to your family, and welcome you home."
After she spoke those words, the roomed cheered and whistled, as though I was some famous rockstar... as though I was Steven....

My father gave me an apologetic look, and then began to speak.

"Family, friends and esteemed guests. We have invited someone very special to come visit today, considering.."
I drowned out my father's words, and began to play with my long brown hair, braiding it, taking it out, and re-braiding it.
Eventually I got bored of that and started picking on my finger nails.

All I could think about was Steven, and the band, and his voice. I missed him more than anything, and honestly, I think I'd kill to just hear his voice one last time.

"Princess Alex.." 
I didn't acknowledge the voice at first, until I realized two things;
1. No one has called me Alex since the day Steven left at the hospital.
2. The voice was Steven's....

Slowly, my head rose in the direction of the blue curtain, and my jaw dropped.
There stood Aerosmith in all their illustrious glory; Brad Whitford, Tom Hamilton, Joey Kramer, Joe Perry... and... and Steven..
He was grinning at me with the widest smile I've ever seen on him. 

I rose from my seat, and just stood there, shaking like a leaf on a twig. 
How could this be?
Why were they here?

"What?!" I gasped. 
As the band began to play "Back In The Saddle Again"
Which was the song Joe, Steven and I all wrote on the bus to Pheonix.

After they finished that song, Joe grinned at me, and instantly struck a chord on his guitar. 
Steven smiled sadly at me, and then began to sing. 

"Now it's time to say goodnight to you
Now it's time to bid you sweet adieu.

Well maybe, drink your cheers to yesterday
And maybe, you'll drink those tears away

So baby, don't let go
Hold on real tight
Cause I'll be home tonight!"

He poured out all of his emotions into lyrics that spoke so closely to my heart. 
Throughout the entire performance, he never once took his eyes off of me, which terrified me. 
I haven't looked into his eyes since the day he left me, and I haven't felt such heart ache since. 

When the set was over, and the boys bowed, and got off stage, they were instantly circled by relatives, and I used this to my advantage; 
I slipped out the door as quietly as I could, and I sprinted up to my room, shutting, and locking the door behind me. 

"How?! What the fuck?!" I gasped, pacing around my room. "This isn't even possible..." 
I over heard the static coming out of the record player, which I left on. 
I started the record over again as Hotel California blasted through the sound box once more. 

I plopped onto my bed, and tried to slow my panicked breathing. 
"You know... running away from your problems never solves them.." I shot up at the sound of a familiar voice. 

"You know... barging into someone's bedroom doesn't solve problems either..." I mocked Joe's suave voice "It actually creates them." 

"Well, your highness.." He chuckled "I'm not the one running from my boyfriend." 

"Speaking of girlfriends, how's Elyssa?" I asked, nonchallantly.

"We're over...." He replied cooly. "Don't try to change the subject."

"Well, pushy.." I sighed, as he made his way over to me, and pulled me into a big bear hug. 

"We've all missed you so much, it's unbelievable... The rest of the tour wasn't the same without you.." He mimmicked my sigh.

"Doubt it.." I scoffed. "I bet you guys have been getting gacked to the nines, and fucking groupies every night.." 
I didn't mean for that last part to come out, but it just did, like word vomit. 

"Actually, the tour fucking sucked since you left... Steven hasn't been his same hyper as fuck, dancing self.. All of our fans literally booed us, and one even asked us if someone died.... It's been shitty." 

"Wow... really?" I gasped a little. 

"Yeah..." Both our heads turned to see Steven standing in the doorway. "Things have been shitty without you." He mumbled.

"I'll give you two some alone time," Joe smiled slightly. "Then come back down stairs, and say hi to everyone else. Joey hasn't shut up about seeing you since we booked this tour." 
With that, he turned around, and shut the door behind him, leaving Steven and I alone together, in my room. 

"No one's called me Alex since you left, that day in the hospital.." I sighed, and let a nostalgic smile appear on my lips. 

"You'll always be my Alexandra Hastings." He smiled, and walked over to me, sitting down beside me on the bed. 
He paused, listening to the music. 
"The Eagles?" He laughed a little. 

"It's a good track... don't judge me." I blushed, and looked down to the floor. 

"I thought Back In The Saddle, was a better track.." He grinned.

"And why's that?" I peeked up at him from under my black laquered lashes.

"Because you were the inspiration behind it." He and I both grinned at the memories of writing that song together on the tour bus. 

"Alex.... er... Ace... or uh... Princess?" He was stumbling on his words. It was actually really cute. I haven't seen him this way since we first met. This wasn't the suave, lady-killing Steven I remember. 

"Here I guess I'm known as Ace, by my dad, and my friend Claudia, but everyone else usually calls me Princess Anastasia, or Ana..." I paused thinking about all the names I've acquired. "Or sometimes just Princess... which pisses me off to no end.."

"Look.... I miss you more than anything." He stared into my golden eyes, which melted me like butter in a hot frying pan. 

"I haven't stopped missing you." I sighed, and broke the eye contact by staring at the white carpeting of my floor. 

"Please, just come back on tour with us.. Stay with me... give this another shot." He pleaded. "I'm begging you.. we can make this work.. I know we can." 

"Steven... Look..." I sighed. "I'm no good for you. We can pretend that I am all we want, but in the end we're both just going to get hurt."

"No, actually, you're wrong. I'm no good for you." My jaw dropped in utter shock at his statement. "It's selfish for me to ask you for another chance, and to constantly push to keep you, but fuck! I'm in love with you, Ace."

I couldn't speak.. couldn't breathe.. couldn't move.
Catatonic.
Static.
Frozen.

Without another word, Steven placed a finger under my chin, and tipped my face up to his.
He planted a light kiss upon my lips, which sent tingles up my spine, butterflies loose in my stomach, and horses gallopping through my heart. 

When we pulled apart, he looked into my eyes for what seemed like ages.
"Please..." He breathed. "Say you love me too.." 
I was still frozen by fear, shock, and all other worldly, and unworldly emotions. 

"I... uh..." I stuttered. 
Truth is; I'm madly, completely, and desperately in love with him and nothing would ever change that.
But our relationship would only end in catastrophe, which has proved to be the case on multiple occassions. 

"Yes." I sighed and gave in. "I love you more than anything, Steven. But.... But this isn't practical. This just won't work."
I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.
"God damn it, I hate this mushy, lovey-dovey shit..." I grumbled as I wiped my mascara stained cheeks. 

"Just give it one last shot..." He begged for my forgiveness. 

The moments passed by, and I couldn't quite figure out what to do, or how to say the things I needed to say.
I can't think straight when he's around... that's the kind of effect he has on me. 

"Fine..." I sighed, and smiled a bit.
Estatic, Steven grinned with joy, and pulled me onto his lap, kissing me with the same fire that he always has; his passion never left, and it was clear that mine didn't either. 

"Finally!"
"Woooooooo!"
"Jesus Christ, it's about time.." 
Joey, Tom, Joe and Brad all stood in my doorway, watching Steven and I make up. 

I blushed wildly and grinned as they all bounded over to me, and pulled me into a large group hug. 
"I've missed you guys so much!" I gasped as I was being squished between 5 fully grown men.
"Ohh, and get ready for the tour," I grinned. "Cause this shit's gonna be crazy."

"You're coming with us?!" Joey squealed like a little school girl.
All I could do was nod and grin in responce.

All at once my fear, anxiety and sadness melted away. 
It's like I was in an ice age, and Steven was the heat wave I needed to break me out.