Run Away From The Pain

Tell Me What It Takes

October 16th, 1989.
Vancouver, B.C, Canada.

"Baby, I know you'll be pleased to hear that the Canadian/North American - Samarinian alliance is stronger than ever." I chuckled, talking on this large box Claudia got… I think it's called a cellular phone, or something like that? "By the way, Antonio, tell little Principessa Alesia that mommy misses her, and I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Okay, mi amour." His melodic voice filled my heart with warmth. "I love you."

I stepped into a coffee shop, with Claudia in suit, and almost ran into someone. 
"I love you too, darling." I smiled into the phone. "Okay bye, now."
I hung closed the box and handed it back to Claudia, then turned to apologize to the man I almost knocked over.

"I'm so sorry, sir! Are you al-" I froze, as a cheeky smirk tried to make it's way onto my lips. 

"Hey, Ace." Joe Perry grinned widely, wrapping his big arms around me. "I told you I'd see you again!"

"You're always right, aren't you?" I laughed. "What are you doing here in Vancouver?" 

"Well, I should be asking you the same thing," He laughed, as the line inched closer and closer to the  register. "But the band's recording an album, and we decided to use Vancouver's studio's because it's cheaper." 

"Makes sense." I smiled completely forgetting about Claudia. I turned around and noticed a very uncomfortable smile on her face. "Oh, shit…" I muttered then whispered to her. "Sorry, Claud."

Joe must've noticed because he instantly turned bright red. 
"Hi, Claudia." He smiled and waved slightly. 

"Hi, Joe." She smiled, cracking the uneasy mask that covered her face. 

"How have you been?"
I ignored them and allowed them to continue their conversation, as I cut Joe and filled Claudia's and my order. 

"One Venti Caramel Machiatto, and one Venti Coffee, with a little bit of milk and sugar, please." I smiled, handing the cashier 20 Canadian Dollar bill. 

"Alex…" At the sound of a familiar voice, I whipped my head around so fast, I swear I got whiplash. 

"Hi, Steven." I smiled, ignoring that fact that my heart was beating about a thousand miles per minute. 

"How are ya?" He asked, leaning up against the counter next to me. 

"I've been good…" I smiled, opening my wallet to put the change back in it. Just as I managed to stuff the extra dollars back into the leather slot, a small photograph fell out, causing Steven to bend down, picking it up. 

"Who's this?" He asked, showing me the picture of the tiny child, with thick brown hair, and golden eyes. 

"My daughter Alesia. She just turned 3." I smiled proudly, taking the photo from Steven, and putting it back in my wallet. "Speaking of daughters, how's Mia?" 

"She's good," He smiled, happy that I remembered her. "She's turning 11 in December."

"That's good." I beamed, taking my coffee from the barista. "So Joe tells me you guys are recording a new album up here… That's pretty cool."

"Yeah, it's not done though. I still have to write a few more songs." He muttered, holding up his familiar black notebook that he had back in the 70's when I was touring with them. 

"Shit, you still have this thing?!" I gasped, taking the notebook from him, and flipping through the pages. 

All of my old material was in there, including the original lyrics to Back In The Saddle, Draw The Line, and Last Child. It was like a train of nostalgia hit me in the face.
"Oh my god…" I gasped, as I slid into an empty booth against the wall of the coffee house. I continued flipping through the pages, looking over his most recent works. 
I hadn't noticed, but Joe and Claudia joined us at the table.

"Hey, Ace. I'm happy that you guys are able to have a conversation without killing one another, but we've gotta go." She sighed apologetically. "You've gotta meet with the Prime Minister to finish signing this treaty, and you still have to shop for Alesia."

"Ohh…" I sighed, knowing my little moment of bliss with Steven would end all too soon. "Okay, well, if it's alright with you guys, I'd love to stop by the studio one day while I'm still here. I wanna see what you guys are working on." 

"Yeah! Sure! That'd be fuckin' awesome!" Joe and Steven both grinned wildly. 

"Okay, great." I smiled, as I wrote the address down on a slip of paper. They both stood up as I slid out of the booth. I grinned and hugged Joe tightly.
I looked at Steven momentarily, and then leaned in awkwardly for a hug, which wasn't so awkward afterall. 
His strong arms coiled around me like they'd done so many times before. 
There's something funny about muscle memory, and how even after all these years, we fit perfectly together like two puzzle pieces. 

"I'll see you soon." I smiled as we pulled apart, leaving me with nothing but a memory to cling to as Claudia and I made our way out of the shoppe. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yeah, we're going to see them now, like, we're just walking into the studio." I was growing fond of talking to Antonio through Claudia's portable phone. "I'll call you when I'm leaving, okay? I love you with all my heart. Bye, baby."
I hung up the phone and handed it to Claudia, as we strolled through the front doors of the studio. 

"Hi, we're here to see Aerosmith?" I smiled at the young looking receptionist who was loudly snapping her gum, not even bothering to look up at me. Oh no, I've dealt with this kind before…

"And you are?" She asked, still staring at the computer screen infront of her, which was used, I assume, as a filing system.

"I'm with the band." I grinned cheekily, feeling like that 20 year old again. 

"Yeah, and I'm the queen of Samarinia…" She scoffed, snapping her gum again.

"That would be me." I laughed lightly, causing her to peek up from behind her black rimed glasses. 

"Oh my goodness, your majesty! I'm so sorry! Forgive me!" She scrambled to her feet, trying to collect two visitors passes as fast as she could.

"Don't worry about it, I get that all the time." I laughed taking the passes from her. 

"They're in Studio B!" She called after me as I began to walk down the hall.

"Thanks!" Claudia and I laughed as we walked down the cool halls. 
After the click of our heels faded from the cold white marble tiles, to the black modern carpeting, we knew we'd reached the studio.
We stood infront of the door which was marked 'Studio B' in gold lettering. 

I turned the knob slowly and quietly, hoping to sneak up on the band. 
As Claudia and I snuck into the control room, we noticed the managers and Roger all sitting around the controls, as the band was recording a new song in the sound room. 
Steven, of course, was sitting on a stool infront of a cloaked microphone, singing with passion I don't think I've ever seen before. 

"There goes my old girlfriend
There's another diamond ring
And, uh, all those late night promises
I guess they don't mean a thing"

My heart flutterd, as his beautiful lyrics spoke to me. 
I knew, somehow, that they were for me. 

"So baby what's the story, did you find another man?
Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made?
When you don't look back,
I guess the feelings start to fade away.
I used to feel your fire, but now it's cold outside
And you're back on the street, like you didn't miss a beat

Tell me what it takes to let you go!
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go!
Tell me how it is that you can sleep In the night,
Without thinking you lost everything that was good
In your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me what it takes to let you go!"

Claudia and I sat next to Roger, and the Frank Connelly listening to the perfection that Aerosmith was creating. 

"Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own.
Yeaaahhhh.
Tell me that it's better when you're all alone.
Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch.
Tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much.
Tell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for me!

Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice,
No, no, no, no.
Cause I don't wanna burn in paradise!"

I knew that was a wrap, and Frank was about to tell them to cut the music, on their final take, but instead, I took the mic from him, and with a cheeky little grin, told them myself.
"Okay guys, that's a wrap!" I giggled as Frank pushed the intercom button.

I got up and ran to the door of the sound room, as Joey shrieked like a little girl and jumped out from behind his drum set, squishing me and hugging me as tightly as he could.
"Ace! Oh my god Ace! I missed you so much!" 
I couldn't help but you laugh out loud at this, and hug him back.

"Well shit, look who finally decided to show." Brad smirked, pulling me in for a hug. 
When I broke apart from Brad, I chuckled and hugged Tom, who took the time to set his bass on a stand before attacking me. 

I smiled at Joe before my eyes met Steven's. 
He grinned and hugged me tightly.
"Hey, I'm glad you could come!" 

"I'm glad I heard that… It's beautiful." I smiled. 

"Thanks, uh…" He chuckled nervously, stretching his right arm behind his head. "It's about you actually."

"How'd I know." I smirked, almost wickedly. 

"You're just that smart." He laughed in responce, leaving us in an awkward silence. "So… uh… did you find a gift for Alesia yet?" 

"Yeah… I actually got her some cool Canadian things… you know, typical tourist things, like snowglobes, and postcards, and extra Canadian bills and stuff." I shrugged nonchallantly. 

"That's good." He smiled. 
Suddenly, the sharp chirping sound of Claudia's cellular filled the room, making me cringe. 

"Sorry guys!" I'll be right back!"
She chuckled, leaving the room. 

"So how long are you here until?" Joey asked, as I plopped down on the couch that was set up against the far wall of the room. 

"Well, whenever we finish the terms of this treaty I'm trying to set up with North America. I've already met with President Bush, and we've established great terms for our countries to be allies. Now I've just got to get the Primse Minister of Canada on board, which shouldn't be hard. He's already agreed, it's just the legalities and paper work needs to be completed." I rambled, trying to settle the information more for myself than for the band. "So, probably another fews days, if not a week."

"Well that's nice, we'll probably be here for a few more months, trying to finish this album." Joe sprawled out on the couch next to me, with his black Les Paul in hand. 

Moments passed by before the door opened and Claudia walked back in, looking like she's just seen a ghost. She was wobbly, and as pale as a piece of paper, and her eyes were all red and puffy as though she's burst into tears. 
"A-ace…" She managed to choke out. "Can you come here please." 

"Uhh… sure?" I slowly got up from the couch and walked over to her.
She grabbed my hand and lead me into the far corner of the room, which was a distance enough where she could whisper something to me, and the boys on the other side of the room wouldn't be able to hear it 

"There's been an accident." She gripped my hand tightly, as my heart fell into the pit of my stomach.

"W-what?" I gasped. "What happened?!" 

"Antonio… He… He got into a terrible car crash, and when the paramedics found him, they tried to hard to revive him, but… but…" She stuttered, trying to find a way to tell me. "I'm so sorry, Ace." 
The same sickening clench I felt at the loss of Ralph, returned ten fold. 
I ran out of the room in a hurry, quickly gaining the attention of everyone in both the sound and control rooms, and I sprinted past them and out into the hall. 

I made my way into the bathroom where my legs collapsed from under me, and a heavy sob wracked my body as I fell to the ground. 
"No! God fucking damn it, No!" I screamed, as a heavy stream of tears flowed from my face. 
The nauseating clench around my heart was so strong, so sickening, that I felt as though I was going to throw up.

How the fuck could this happen? One moment I was talking to him, telling him how I loved him and couldn't wait to be home, and the next, he's gone. Vanished from my life as if he was just a mirage. 

I curled up into a ball and sobbed heavily, as Claudia found her way into the bathroom where I was, and tried comforting me, which didn't help, because she was sobbing just as heavily as I was. 

Eventually, she calmed down enough to really try soothing me again, which of course, didn't work. She gave up, and went to find someone or some way I could calm down. 
I began to feel nausious and light headed, and it was becoming obvious that I was crying so heavily I was becoming dehydrated. 
I craddled my head in between my legs, and continued to sob, finding no way of calming myself down. 

Moments later, someone came into the bathroom, and sat down next to me, pulling me onto their lap. 
Muscle memory got the best of me, as I curled my arms around Steven's neck, and sobbed heavily into his chest. 

"Shhhh. Honey, it's okay." He rubbed my back and kissed my forehead, making me feel safe, but at the same time, making me feel more guilty than ever. 
My husband is dead, meanwhile I'm curled up in the arms of the man I've been lusting after for so many years. 

"Why? Why.. Why.. Why.. Why.." I weeped staining Steven's silk shirt with my mascara. "He doesn't deserve this. Alesia deserves a father.. Why, why why? It's not fair!"

"I know, Ace, baby. I know." He held me close to him, and just continued to let me cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I must've fallen asleep, because I woke up with a throbbing headache, and I was lying on a leather couch surrounded my musical instruments, and people. 
"I need to get home to my baby girl." I moaned, as I got up from the couch. 
Everyone instantly shut up and turned their attention to me. 

"We have a flight scheduled for 3, Ace." Claudia pushed herself through the guys. "We'll leave in about a half hour to get to the airport, and then we'll be back home by tomorrow morning. Until then, Alesia is being taken care of by your mother and father, while Antonio's parents are flying into Samarinia as we speak." 

"Okay." I mummbled, or attempted to. 

"Also, you'll wanna drink this," Joey smiled, handing me a glass of water. "You seem pretty dehydrated." 

"Thanks." I muttered, taking the glass from him, and taking dainty sips. 
I sat myself upright on the couch, and just staired infront of me. 
Every once in a while, the mumbling around the room would stop and everyone would look over at me, to make sure I wouldn't do anything drastic. 

Honestly, I couldn't even if I wanted to. 
Antonio would want me to be here, and Alesia needs me here.

Slowly, I picked myself up off the black leather, and stood to my feet very very carefully. 
I walked towards the door, and left without another word to anyone. 

as I slid down into the back seat of the limo that brought Claudia and I here, the other door, to my left, opened up as Steven slid in next to me. 
"I'm coming with you. I want to be there for you." 

"Don't." was all I could bring myself to utter. 

"You need someone there for you, so I'm coming." He was stern and cold, and I knew he wasn't taking no for an answer. 
He wrapped his hands around mine, and just held them. 

Within minutes, the limo was filled with Claudia and the rest of the band, who all made the decision to come with me, since they all took a liking to Antonio when they met him. 
The ride to the airport was quick, and the take off of the royal jet was even quicker. 

"Thank you guys." I sighed, as I rested my head back onto the plush seating of the royal jet, waiting to take me back to Samarinia, for what might be the worst day of mine, and my daughter's life.