Run Away From The Pain

Little Green Monster

Steven loves me… right? I mean, I know he's got to be a sex god and all, but he couldn't be cheating on me… I love him… He wouldn't do that to me… would he?
I was sitting on a plush couch in a lounge area back stage, where a small party was being thrown for the guys before they went on stage. 
It seemed fun and all… Joe and Claudia were no where to be seen (probably off canoodling somewhere), Joey and Brad were popping the caps off of a couple of beers for the chicks they were talking too, and Tom was deep in conversation with his wife Terry, and a few lucky fans with backstage passes. 
What was Steven doing? Talking to Cyrinda and Elyssa… well, more like just Cyrinda, because Elyssa seemed more preoccupied with giving Claudia dirty looks, and making googly eyes at Joe. 
They were standing on the other side of the room near a small bar that was set up, while I was sitting on the couch, and the only thing keeping me company was my beer. 
Every so often I would hear Cyrinda giggle wildly at something funny Steven said, or touch his arm, or flip her white candy floss hair.

I've had enough. 
I just got up and walked away, grabbing another beer before I went to explore the venue the boys were playing tonight. 

I made my way down the long slate gray cinderblock halls of the arena, taking a sip of golden liquid every so often.
After walking for a bit, I finally made my way out of the crowd of people, and past the dwindling number of crazed fans lurking in the cinderblock halls, making out with each other, or smoking thick J's, or even taking lines off of each other. 
Though I could still hear the muffled beats of loud music, and conversation coming from deep within the venue, the silence and the thought of being alone deafened me. 

I got tired of walking and gave up, sliding my back against the cool cement blocks which composed the wall behind me. I bent one knee, using it as an arm rest as I held my beer, and let the other leg just sprawl out across the floor. I was in no way trying to look even remotely lady-like. 
I mean, I was just in a pair of dark-wash jeans, combat boots, and an Aerosmith t-shirt… My mother would be appauled… There's nothing about me that could possibly resemble royalty.
Fuck being a princess...

'I bet Cyrinda could be a better princess than you…' The ugly green monster reared her head at me, hissing like a snake. 

Oh jealousy, it's been a while since we've seen each other? How the fuck are ya? Still bitter, and trying to ruin people's lives? Of course you are! Why else would you be here?

I just rolled my eyes at the bitch and took another sip of beer. 
Minutes past…or maybe it was hours, I got so lost in my thoughts I couldn't tell… before I heard footsteps echoing down the cold, barron halls.

I refuse to look up to see who it is… Honestly, I'm so pissed at Steven, that if it is him, I don't even know what I would do. 

"Hey Ace…" A voice that I've heard, but was unfamiliar with spoke with such a soothing, apologetic tone. "What are you doing all the way over here, by yourself?"

I looked up from under my lashes, and saw Roger, the new body guard, sliding down the wall to sit next to me. He took the same comfortable position I did, and stared at me intently. 
He seemed very nice, though I never had an actual conversation with him.
I felt like I was betraying Ralph, so I never tried to get close to him. 

"I got sick of watching my boyfriend flirt with some groupies." I shruggled, taking a large swig of my beer, almost finishing it off. 
I looked down at the nearly empty bottle and sighed, then took another sip, finishing it off entirely. 

"Here you go." Roger smiled, revealing an unopened glass beer bottle. He took a small pocket knife from his jacket pocket, and flicked the aluminum cap off with ease, handing me the cold bottle. 

"Thanks." I smiled lightly, taking the refreshment from him. "You know, you're alright." 

"I try," He chuckled, looking down at his hands. "I try."

All I could do was nod, and take another uneasy sip. 
"So you never answered my question…" He said, breaking the comfortably awkward silence. 
Though I knew what he was talking about, I gave him a wary look, raising an eyebrow as to symbolize my ignorance. "Why are you here all by yourself?"

"Why are you following me?" I asked, tipping the green glassed rim of the bottle in his direction, sarcastically snapping back in responce.

"You're the Princess of Samarinia… I'm a hired body guard who is being paid to look after the band… you're with the band…" He grinned, almost as sarcastically as I was. I liked him… We're two peas in a pod. "You do the math, kid."

"I hate math." I laughed, sipping the bubbly, pouring halfway through my third bottle of the night. 

He laughed warmly, and then sighed.
"You know, he doesn't mean it… He's just being his rockstar self." 

"I used to think the same thing." I smiled nostalgically. "But you can tell when someone doesn't love you the same way anymore."

"You think he doesn't feel the same anymore?"

"Who knows if he does or doesn't." I shrugged, taking a swig of my drink. "All I know is that he's starting to feel something for her, and let's just say, I'm not too keen on sharing."

"I'm sorry, Ace," I sighed apologetically. "I wish there was something I could do."

"Yeah," I smiled sadly, getting up from where I once sat. "Me too."
I tugged on his hand lightly, pulling him up next to me. 
As he stood to his feet, I began to slowly walk down the eerie corridor, staring at my boots, with one hand in my back pocket, and the other clutching the nossle of the glass bottle. 

The walk back towards the party was silent, yet comforting. 
I like Roger.
He'll never replace Ralph, but he's pretty cool. 
He does remind me a bit of Ralph though. His smile, his laughter, and the way he could comfort me with little words, were all things Ralph used to do. 

Just before I reached the ending of the corridor, There was someone walking towards us, coming from the party. 
It was the new manager, Frank Connelly.

"Hey, Ace!" He seemed a little nervous, which always terrified me. "The Queen is on the phone for you. You can take the call in Steven's dressing room if you'd like?"

"The Queen, meaning my mother?" I asked a little too sarcastically. "Thanks Frank. I'll get it."

I walked through the lounge, where the party was still hot, towards Steven's dressing room which was down the opposite corrior than the one I was just in. 
I only briefly noticed Steven and Cyrinda still talking by the bar. 
For a split second, Steven looked up and our eyes met, sending an electrical charge running through my entire body. 
He gave me a questionable look, and I could tell he was completely shutting out Cyrinda, trying to figure out where I was going. 

I just ignored him and continued the short walk towards his dressing room. 
As I closed the door to the room behind me, I strolled over to the vanity where the black telephone sat.
I slid down onto the small stool of the vanity, and took a deep breath before answering. 

"Hey Mom." I sighed, "It's been a while, sorry I haven't called."

"Anastasia, you promised you would!" She sounded worried. "How's the tour so far?"

"It's going great!" I only half lied. "They're doing amazing at all their shows, and everything's just perfect."

"Well that's great… but um, how are you and Steven?" She asked, a little awkwardly. 

"We're fine.." Though I didn't think anything of the strange question, I definitely should've. "Why?"

"Honey, I've got something I need to tell you…"
Instantly, my heart sunk deep into my chest, knowing I was about to receive soul-crushing, heart-wrenching news.