Run Away From The Pain

Where'd The Time Go?

It's New Years Eve, 1975, about to be 1976....
Where did the time go? I could've sworn it was still 1969, and I was 13 years old, sitting on the porch swing with my brother, while eating Ice cream in the hot sun, and playing baseball in the street with all our friends. 
Now, I'm almost 20 years old, and I'm touring the country with Aerosmith. 
Really looking back at my life, this is the type of shit you would find in an opera, or some cheesy romance novel.... but alas, this is the real deal. 
I'm a surviving victim of a brutal 5 year captivity, who just so happened to escape, and run into my favorite band, and begin dating the extremely gorgeous lead singer. 

Speaking of Steven, his warm hand entangled itself around mine, and pulled me to his side.

"Having fun?" He smiled down at me, while gesturing to the mass crowd around us. 
We were at some crazy New Years Party that the owners of the Ceasars Palace hotel in Las Vegas, threw for us... I guess as a way of thanking us for staying there, as well as having a concert there. 

"Yeah, definitely!" I grinned. I was only slightly drunk, and I only snorted one line, so I wasn't too fucked up. That's good, because in largely populated places like this, I never know if he's just gonna show up, so I need to keep my wits about me. 

Steven smirked a little, and tugged on my hand, leading me to a back entrance to the large ballroom we were in. He pulled me through the grandiose glass arch, and lead me out onto a balcony. It was almost like a fairy tale;
There were twinkling lights, and there was this soft, subtle, breeze in the warm air of the Las Vegas evening. 
Steven pulled me close to him, just holding me, while gazing into my eyes. 
Almost as if it was planned so perfectly, in the distance, we heard the faint roars of a crowd. 
"5...4....3...2...1! Happy New Year!" 
Suddenly, fireworks of all colors exploded around us.
Sparks of blue, and green, red, and yellow, purple and white, flew up into the air with a loud boom, and then floated back down to the earth with such beauty and grace; they looked to me, like fallen angels. 

"So beautiful." I gasped, looking at the night sky around me. 

"You are." He grinned.
I couldn't look him in the eye; remember how I said my stare was so piercing it could literally scare someone to death? I was starting to feel that way about Steven's eyes. They never had that effect on me before, but it scared me to look him directly in the eyes... probably because I didn't want him to know how I truly felt, or what I was truly thinking. 

He must've felt my anxiety, because he put a finger under my chin, and lifted my face up to his. 
He lightly pressed his lips against mine, but then, like throwing a bucket of kerosine over a fire, he deepened the kiss and sent flames of passion, burning down my throat. 

"Follow me." He grinned wickedly, and grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the ballroom, and through the large crowd. Once we made it past the throng of people, he pushed me through the lobby, and into the elevator. 
Once we were inside, and safe from the watchful eye of fans and the paparazzi, Steven pushed me against the wall of the elevator, and began to kiss me passionately, again. 

I didn't mean for it to happen, but a low moan ripped its way out of the back of my throat. 
I guess Steven must've taken that as an insentive to continue, because he picked me up, so I could wrap my legs around his waist. 
The deep purple dress I was wearing was riding up, and I could feel his bulge rubbing up against me, and as good as it felt, I was honestly terrified. 

I felt his bulge pressing against my thigh, as he pinned me down. 
"Stop squirming, you little cunt!" He hissed at me. "You're gonna like this... just calm the fuck down! Stop your crying!"
The tears poured down my face, as I screamed for help, but no one could hear me. I was all alone. With no one, but him. 

I haven't ever willingly done anything beyond kissing with someone. 
I pulled away, and unwound my legs from Stevens hips, hopping off of him.
"I....I'm sorry, I can't do this right now." I was panicking, and I didn't know what to do about it.
I stopped the elevator, and got off at some random floor, and just kind of sprinted away from him. 

"Alex! Come back!" He called after me, but the elevator doors closed behind him. 

I darted down the hall, and found the nearest emergency stairwell. 
As I closed the door behind me, I slumped down to the ground, and tried to slow my breathing.
I would've been completely fine, had it not been that my breathing hitched in my throat, as I heard a voice coming from the shadowed corner of the landing. 

"Why the rush, baby?"
I quickly stood to my feet, and swiveled my head to see him standing in the corner. 

"How the fuck do you keep finding me?!" I screamed, as he came closer, and lunged at me. 
I rolled out of the way, letting him crash into the wall, and howel with pain.
He quickly regained his momentum and charged after me again, but this time, he got me. I felt his hot, fat fingers slither around my neck, trying so desperately to squeeze the life out of me. 
I managed to kick him in the groin. You would think after the third time, he'd learn of a way to protect himself from my counter attacks.... When he stumbled back, and groaned in pain, I kicked him in the face, to ensure he wasn't going to come after me. As happy as I was to get my revenge, there was this nauseating crack that came from the force my foot applied to his face, which made me feel sick. 

I could've sworn I was flying, I was running so fast. I sprinted down the steps, skipping almost three at a time, trying to get back to the most populated area of the hotel; the ballroom.
I stumbled on the last two steps of the landing which lead out to the lobby. 
I tripped over my own two feet, and landed right on the door; my weight pushed the door open, and I was practically sprawled out on the floor, with crowds of people gathering around me. 

"Oh my goodness, honey!" One woman knelt by me.
"Sugar, are you okay?" Another man called to me.
"Someone help this poor woman up!" An older woman cooed. 

I was terrified beyond belief. I couldn't speak. Couldn't think. 
It's like I'd gone catatonic again. 
I heard rustling and a few gasps, then the crowd parted as Steven and Joe made their way through the sea of bodies. 

"Jesus, Alex we've been looking for you!" Joe sighed. "Fuck... what happened to you, are you okay?" 
I couldn't answer. I just curled up into a ball, and began to shake uncontrollably. 

"Fuck! Steven! She's shaking!" Joe tried to soothe me. "That probably only means one thing...." He muttered. 

"Get hotel security to check every floor of this stairwell! He's in here somewhere!" Steven called out. 
Within minutes, men in tuxedos, resembling special force agents, darted up the stairwell.
"Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't want, what happened before, to end like that.. I didn't mean it." He qrapped his arms around my shivering body, and pulled me close to him, kissing my temple for comfort. 

"I....." I didn't know how to answer, "I think... I killed him.." 
The tears came in abundance, down my face. 

"What...?" Steven, Joe, and Ralph all gasped. 

Suddenly, we heard men calling from down the stairwell;
"He's up here! He's unconscious! Someone call an ambulance!" Which for some reason, only made me cry harder. 

"What happened up there?" Joe eyed me very carefully. 

"He... he was there somehow, and he charged at me.... I.. I moved away, and he crashed into the wall, and then he came and attacked me, and tried to choke me, but I kicked him in the groin, and then in the face..." I paused, gasping for air in between my sobs. "And there was this crack... this sickening crunch, when I kicked him. I think I killed him." 

They all stood, astonished. 
I was shaking and sobbing, and all Steven could do was craddle me in his arms, and sing softly to me. 
About 10 minutes later, paramedics rushed up the stairs with a gurney, and another 5 minutes later, they rushed right back down; this time, there was a body lying very still on the gurney. 

I saw the blood that was gushing from his face. His right eye was swollen shut, and his lip was busted. 
Though he deserved it, I couldn't believe I was the cause of such destruction.

Everyone held their breathe as they rolled him out to the ambulance. 
The police man that was with them, came up to me.
"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions." He stared me down, which made me feel so vunerable. 

"Like what?" Steven cut in.

"Like, exactly what happened in that stairwell shaft?" The officer was holding a pencil to a pad of paper,  expecting an immediate answer. "Ma'am..?"

"I.. He... He attacked me. He's my kidnapper. He escaped from prison, and has been following the band, and I, around ever since I escaped. He found me in the stairwell, and lunged at me. He tried choking me, and so I kicked him in the groin, and then the face. Then I ran." I began to wear this facade.
I was stone-faced; refusing to show any emotion. I was hard as a rock. "He came after me, and I will plead self-defense on any and every case this will turn into." I snapped. 

"Ma'am, if all you say is true, then we don't have much of a case, other than the restraining order you'll need to get against this man, while we lock him away for good." The officer slightly smiled, reassuring me that I was safe.

He then turned aorund to leave.
"Wait, officer...." I needed to know.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Wha-," I choked back more tears. "What happens, if he died? What if I killed him?"

"Then you'll be taken to court, but if all you say is true, you'll only be charged with justifiable homicide. It'll go on the record as self defense, and you'll get off without any punishment." He lowered his eyes. "What you told me is true... right?" 

"Every word." I assured him. 
As the officers left, and the crowd eventually dispursed, I slumped against the wall, and slid down to the floor. 
I put my head in my hands and just tried to steady my breathing. 
I couldn't believe what just happened.....

I'm a killer....
I'm a stone cold killer. 
Regardless if it's justifiable or not, I promised I'd never kill...
I'd never stoop to his level..