Run Away From The Pain

Lessons Learned, and Learned Again.

I feel like every show I go to, I'm always some how sitting in Steven's dressing room, alone. 
My father,
...er.... Uncle.. I guess I should start calling him my uncle... whatever....
He's sitting back stage, watching Steven and Joe do their toxic twin thing.
I said I had to go to the bathroom, so I walked back to the dressing room. 

Honestly... all I needed was another fix. 

I locked the door behind me, and went straight up to the vanity at the far wall of the room.
I sat down on the cool leather of the stool in front of it, and looked down at the table before me.
Steven already had four perfectly straight lines of white powder cut up.
I took the small straw that was lying on the table, and snorted two of them, getting the high I needed. 

It felt so good.. so real. 

I cleaned myself up, and then walked backstage again to meet up with my fath-, uncle.

"Hi Dad!" I jumped behind him, trying to scare him. 

"Jesus, Alex, you scared the shit out of me!" He chuckled, and then turned back to the stage. 
Steven must've heard me, somehow, because he turned his head, and looked at us, then winked at me, and turned back to the crowd. 

I began to giggle with excitement, and then hopped around like a little school girl.

"Why so hyper?" Victor questioned me, with a very awkward look on his face.

"No reason.." I lied through my teeth. 
My nose felt itchy, and runny, so I rubbed my finger between my upper lip and my nose.
At this tiny action, his eyes grew wide, and he stared at me in astonishment.

"Alexandra Hastings.. You're not on drugs, are you?!" He gasped.

"No!" lie number 2. 

"I know you are! How could you lie to me!" He seemed so hurt. 

"I'm not!" I retorted.

"Yes you are! I could see it in your dilated eyes! And your nose is all runny, and red!" He was getting mad. "You're hanging around with a bunch of rockstars, of course you're high... how didn't know? This is fucking ridiulous.." He huffed, and stormed away.

"Wait! Dad!" I called and ran after him, grabbing his arm and spinning around. 

As a reaction, he slapped me, and then stumbled back, realizing  what he'd done.

"Alex... fuck.... I'm sorry!" He stammered. 

"How..... how could you...?" I gasped. 

"Alex, you know I didn't mean that..." He sulked.

"I know... I... I just...." I shook my head, as to escape the oncoming dark thoughts. 
I opened my mouth back up to speak, but someone else cut me off. 

"Ace..." The voice paused for a moment, so I turned around to see none other, than my biological father, Andrew Dawson. "Shit... I mean Alex... it'll be tough getting used to that.. you'd think after 15 years... but anyway, I need to speak with you... do you want to go get some breakfast?"

I looked down at the Steven's flamboyant silver watch, that was secured around my wrist. 
"Andrew... It's 11:30..." A small smile spread across my lips. "You like breakfast for dinner?"

"It's always been our favorite.." He smiled nostalgically, and began to walk out of the hall of the stadium, expecting me to follow.

"It has?!" I stood in shock.
He paused in his tracks, and turned to face me.

"Yes, it has.. when you were really little, we would always sneak into the kitchen late at night and make pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Your mother hated that we did that, so we always snuck around behind her back." He laughed at the memories. "Come on, Ace." He grinned.

I quickened my pace to follow him out of the building, hearing the music fade behind me, but then something struck me as odd.
"Why do you always call me Ace?" I asked.

"Well, Your mother wanted to name you something lady-like, and beautiful," He began, "But I wanted something more tom-boyish, incase you turned out to be, well.... not go girly." He laughed. "So I found a loophole, and we named you Anastasia Cecilia Elena... or. A.C.E for short." 

"That's what Steven said!" I gasped. 

"You told him?" My father stopped and looked me directly in the eyes. 

"Yes... only because I trust him, and he needed to know. He was so worried, he was about to explode if I didn't tell him." I sighed.
I heard another set of footsteps behind me, and turned around to smack dead into Steven's chest. 

"Oww.." I rubbed my forehead. "Speak of the devil." I chuckled. 

"Shit, sorry baby. Are you okay?" He asked, pulling me in for an apologetic hug. 

"Yeah," I laughed, and hugged him back, feeling sweat drip off of his bare back, and off of his long, now soaked, brown hair. "Well, sweaty, that was a great show."
I joked around with him, by playfully wiping my hand off on my sweater. 

"Sorry... that happens." He laughed. "And thank you..."
He paused looking from me, to my biological father, then back to me.
"Where are you guys going?" 

"We were gonna go get some breakfast." I smiled at my father. "It apparently used to be a thing for my Dad and I." 

"That's awesome. Go have some fun.. We'll be back at the hotel waiting, Joe's girlfriend Elyssa and some of her friends were in town for the show, so they're gonna come back to the room with us, and they want to throw a party." He looked directly at me, to embarassed, or afraid, to make eye contact with Andrew. "If you want us to wait for you, we can?"

"No, you go have fun... Andrew and I have a lot of catching up to do." I smiled, and gripped Steven's hand lightly, only to let go a moment later, and continue to head out of the stadium. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What would ya'll like?" A thin waitress with a yellow dress, and a pink apron skated up to our table, on the most unstable roller skates I've ever seen. 

"Blueberry Pancakes." My father and I both blurted out, only to stare at each other in shock.
"I'll have a plate of scrambled eggs, and bacon as well." Andrew couldn't stop staring into my golden eyes. 
"Same here." I gasped. 

"Okay, that'll be right out." The waitress smiled, and rolled away. 

"You like blueberry pancakes?" I gasped

"They were our favorite." He laughed, "We used to make them all the time."

"But I was only 3 years old... how is that even possible." I asked, astonished.

"Well... I made them, and sat you on the counter of the kitchen." He became really nostalgic again, and his green eyes floated off to a far away place, longing for yesterday. "You were my little girl... You were my best friend. Of course your brother hated that I spent most of my attention on you, but he was older, and he understood the danger you were in."

"Wait... I have a brother?" The words came out of my mouth faster than I anticipated. "I mean... of course I do... Johnny's my brother." I shook the stupidity out of my head, trying to regain my whits. 

"Actually.... Johnathan Hastings is your cousin... He's you Uncle's biological son. Your biological brother's name is Nicholas." He seemed almost apologetic. "I know this has been hard on you.. and I'm really sorry about all of this. I know you must hate your mother and I..."

"I don't hate you.." I cut him off. "I'm just mad... Like... do you have any idea how this effects me? I truly feel like no one wants me. I was locked in that sicko's basement for 5 years, and everyday I would hope and pray that someone, somewhere, was looking to come save me... No one ever did, and I had to bust myself out. Then, when I come out, I find 5 amazing guys that are willing to help me, and take me in as their own, and for once I feel like a human being. I feel as though I'm wanted, and then you drop this bomb on me that my actual parents gave me away when I was just a kid?!"


"That's a fucking lot of information to take in." I scoffed, "So excuse me for getting pissed off about it."

"I am sorry.." He bowed his head in defeat, but then rose again, as a smile smirk dances across his peach lips. "How'd you meet up with Aerosmith anyway...? I mean, that's awesome!" 

The waitress brought out our food, and I instantly dug in. 

"You know Aerosmith?!" I grumbled, with a mouth full of pancakes and syrup. 

"Yeah! They're huge over in Samarinia. I've been a huge fan of their stuff since they first came out a few years ago. I've met the Stones once too.. and The Beatles." He grinned, in a proud manner. 

"You like rock-n'-roll?!" The questions flowing from my mouth were endless. 

"Of course, who do you think I am? Your mother?" He chuckled, and I burst out laughing.

"You know... you're not as bad as I thought you were." I smiled, taking another gulp of eggs and bacon. "You're actually really cool."

"Thank you.. I know." He smirked

"So what else are you interested in?" I asked, amused by how well this conversation was going.

"Well, I play some hockey, in my free time... Non-contact, of course. I'm in an old man's league... can't go breaking hips now.." He laughed.

"You like Hockey too?!" I snorted.

"Yeah, it's the national sport over in Samarinia." He laughed. "Your brother Nick is in the professional league, back home." 

"That's sick." I grinned, proud of a brother I've never met before. 
I finished the last bite of my food, and then pushed my plate away from me, and rubbed my full belly.
"Oh my god, that was so good." 

My father took his last bite, and then did the same.
"You can say that again." He grinned."Breakfast's on me." He smiled, and got up to pay the bill.
When he returned, he slid back into the booth.
"You ready?" He smiled.

"Yeah, but first, can I ask you something?" My lifeless, monotone voice, made me cringe.

"Sure, what's up, Ace?" I smiled, because I was getting used to the name Ace... I did actually really like it. 
It's amazing how close this man and I could get. 
I truly did feel a bond with him... He must've been the favored parent of mine, because it almost felt like I've never left.
Don't get me wrong... Andrew's my father, but Victor's my Dad. I'll always love Victor like my dad, and no one would replace him, ever.... But I was starting to feel the bond, that I normally had with Victor, with Andrew.

"You said you were into politics, right?" I paused, thinking over my words. "Well... what kind of politics... like... what do you do?" 

"I think that's a question that should be answered when you're mother is around." He tensed up. "We should go.. I'll drive you back to the hotel." 

"Okay..." I sighed, and stood up from the booth.
We walked out to the car in silence, and continued that way, back to the hotel.
About half way through the 10 minute trip, I broke the silence.

"We're leaving tomorrow, you know." I stared blankly out the car window.

"Where's the next stop?" He asked. 

"I think Texas... not sure though." I mumbled. 

"Maybe your mother and I will follow you guys down there... what time are you leaving tomorrow?" He pulled into the front of the hotel, and waited for the valet to come open his door for him. I however, didn't bother waiting. I swung the door of the '70 Challenger R/T, open and stepped out, not bothering to wait for anyone. 

"Depends on how late we wake up." I sighed, and continued into the hotel lobby. 
My father quickened his pace, and caught up to me in moments. 

"Well.. there's a lot we need to discuss, and it's of a serious nature." He sounded so stately, and so cold, it terrified me. 

"Fine." I huffed. "I'm gonna go upstairs. Night Andrew.."

"Ace..." He sighed, and pulled me into a small, awkward hug. "I know this is alot, and it's all happening so fast. But you are my little girl, and I am your dad. I hope you can learn to trust your mother and I over time."
He unwound his arms from me, and I stepped away.

"We'll see." I spun on my heel, and walked to the elevator, thinking about how wonderful this night actually went. 
I mean, I really could trust my....Dad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the doors dinged open, and I stepped out to the top floor of the hotel, All I could hear was music blasting through one of the closed doors, and I knew exactly what door that was. 

I fished my key out of my pocket, and unlocked the hotel room door, only to have the ear splitting volume of the Rolling Stones, almost punch me in the face. 

"Jesus fucking Christ that's so loud!" I screamed over the music. 
No one heard me.
I walked over to the coffee table/couch are of the room, where Steven, Joe, Elyssa, and two other girls were all sitting, cutting up some lines of coke. 
Steven was sandwhiched in between the two, slutty looking, twins. 
They were both blonde, and practically had their tits, and coochies, hanging out of the skimpiest go-go dresses I've ever seen. 

As Steven finished cutting up a line, he picked up the straw from the table, and I siezed my opportunity. 
I snatched the straw from his hand, and bent down, sorting up 3 perfectly cut lines. 

"Hey! What the fuck, slut! That's my fucking coke!" The slutty twin on the left screamed.
"Bitch, you better fucking pay for that!" The one on the right mimmicked her sisters, high pitched snotty, wail. 

Steven just grinned, and stood up from where he was smushed between the girls. 
I was angry with him, and I couldn't tell why.
I mean, he was just sitting with them... it's not like he was doing anything he shouldn't have.
Jealously reared her ugly green head, and smirked at me. 

"Hey baby!" He grinned, and leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my face in time, so he planted a soft peck on my cheek, rather than my lips. 

I smiled faintly, and then walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. 
I took off my make-up, and brushed my teeth.
In any hotel we went to, I always left my suitcase in the bathroom, incase a situation like this should arise. 
I picked out a pair of sweats, and a baggy t-shirt, as well as some university sweatshirt, that was left in one of the other hotels we were at, which I stole. 
I put my hair up into a large bun, and then put my boots on my feet. 

I opened the door, to find Steven, mid-knock. I guess I didn't hear him knocking, due to the loud music outside. 

"I'm going to bed.. I'll be in the bus if you need me." I scoffed. "Have fun with the twins." 
I strode past an astonished Steven, receiving extremely dirty looks from the blonde twins, as well as Elyssa. Joe smiled and waved, but then seemed concerned as I walked out of the room. 
I made the journey from the elevator, through the lobby, and out the back door of the main level.
I crunched through the snow on the cold ground of the back parking lot, until I reached the tour bus.

Quickly, to escape the cold, I unlocked the bus, stepped inside, and then locked it again, so no one could come in. 

I grabbed Joe's guitar, and my bag, which was still lying on the floor of the booth. 
I went into the back bedroom, and shut the door of the closet sized room, behind me.
Upon tossing my bag on the bed, a small thud, and a ruffling of papers could be heard, but I ignored it. 
I too, then plopped on the bed, and began to strum away at the guitar. 

I had no idea why I was so mad, or upset. I just was. 
I honestly feel alone. I feel like a burden to everyone around me.
I am in a bus... I could live here..., just go around the country, from city to city, living in a bus. 
I know how to drive.. I mean, I learned before he took me.
I could just take the bus right now. 

I shook my head, dispelling the thought.
I continued strumming away at the strings of the guitar, until I lulled myself into a deep sleep.