Run Away From The Pain

What Could've Been Love.. Or The End Of My Life.

How was I going to tell Steven? I knew he loved Tim..
I couldn't tell him to get rid of him, just because Steven knows I don't like him..
I think he should realize that my life is a bit more important than just a friendship... I mean... If I died, would Steven be able to forgive Tim, just because he gives him blow, and a record deal?
I took a deep breath, and decided it was now or never.

"Steven..." My fingers found his, as I tugged him to my side, lightly. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure.." He paused, concern clouding his once bright, and estatic eyes. "Is everything okay?"
I pulled on his hand a little tighter, leading him out of the room. 

"It's him..." I sighed, never taking my eyes off of his. "Tim Collins is the mole..." 

"What do you mean?" He was clearly more confused than he should've been.

"Remember when you said someone on the inside... someone with the band was giving him all the information on the tour dates, and breaking him out of jail and stuff?" I paused, letting it sink in. 

"No....." He gasped. "No! Tim wouldn't do that!" He was appauled that I would even suggest such a thing.

"It's true! His 'friend' Robbie Haneran..... R.H!" I tried to keep my voice down, incase he over heard us. "R.H Is my kidnapper, Richard Hainsworth... Steven, you need to believe me when I tell you that Tim is the one helping him out.." I pleaded, trying to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

"No, that's fucking ridiculous. Tim's a good guy! He wouldn't go that low!" I could tell he was hurt that I'd even suggest it.

"Steven..." I swallowed as tears welled in my eyes. "Please believe me.." 

"Fuck this.." He sighed, letting go of my hand, and wiping it on his shirt, like he was just playing in the mud. 

I gasped as hot tears streamed down my face.
My vision blurred and all I coud make out was a fuzzy picture; Steven's outline stormed back into the studio, letting the door slam behind him. 

I burst into tears, and sprinted out of the building.
I need to get out of here as fast as I can... If whoever was in the bathroom with me, is still here, than I need to leave NOW. 

I ran out to the car, and hopped in. 
I knew I didn't have the keys, but fortunately... I knew how to hotwire. 

I ripped off the protective plastic cover of the wires beneathe the steering wheel, and readjusted them.
Fuck... which one went with which... The green with the red, or the blue with the red.. or was it blue and green?

"Fuck, Alex... Anastasia... whatever the fuck your name is! Fucking step on it!"
I attached the wires, and magically, the car sparked to life. 

I threw her into reverse, and sped out of the parking lot as quickly as I could. 
"Where do I go? fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." I cried frantically.

I've never been to Texas. I have no clue where to go.
I can't go back to the hotel, because he's probably there waiting for me.
My parents aren't here yet... I don't think..
I just don't know what to do..

I put the pedal to the floor, and maxed out on some deserted stretch of black top, surrounded by nothing but dry, caked dirt, and large balls of dust. 
Every 1/4 of a mile, there was a large wooden pole, with a lamp on top of it. 
I could've sworn I saw a few cacti and cow skulls as well..
I was definitely on the set of some western movie or something.

I frantically wiped tears from my eyes, as I tried to maintain control of the vehicle.
BIG mistake....

The wheel swerved out from under my slippery grip, and the car slammed into the wooden lamp-post. 
My head slammed against the sleek wood of the steering wheel, and for a moment everything went fuzzy and black. 

I came too, and got out of the car.
My head feels as though I've been put through a washing machine, and my heart feels even worse. 

"What the fuck... what the fuck do I do now?" I slid my back against the hot metal door of the car, curling myself into a ball, and sobbed. 

"Why is this my fucking luck?" I kept sobbing and sobbing, and couldn't stop. 

I'm going to die out here..
I've cheated death so many times, that now he's finally getting his revenge, and ohh is it bitter-fucking-sweet. 

The hot sun was too much for me. 
I feel like I'm going to pass out, either from the heat, lack of food, or the fact that I might have just gotten a concussion. 
I'm lost, and alone, and once again... I've got no place to go. 

I could try and wander, until I find town again.. but where will I go, when I do?
Steven doesn't want me anymore..
I basically told my birth mother to go fuck herself, so I doubt she'll still want me.
And even if she does, how would I reach her? I don't know her number..

"WAIT! OH FUCK!" I screeched, as I dug a hand into my pocket.
I felt the cook crinckle of a thin paper, and lifted it from the heat of my pocket.
As I unfolded the paper, I read out the Samarinian quote my father wrote for me, which was tattooed onto my rib cage; I flipped the paper over to find a phone number.

Great... now all I need is a pay phone..
I craned my neck to look around the fron bumper of the car, and to my dismay, only found a stretch of road, that went so far into the horizon, I couldn't see it anymore. 
I turned my head to look in the direction I just came from.

It was the same, but the only difference, was that at the end of the horizon, I saw the faint peaks of buildings; the town I was just escaping from. 

"Well, fuck... that's like.... a 10 or 15 mile walk..." I sighed.
I wobbled to my feet, and gripped my throbbing head.
I swallowed hard, and wiped a few more tears from my cheeks, then I started the walk in the hot sun.

I was fine for the first few steps, then I collapsed to the ground, with a sharp pain in my abdomen, and a woozy feeling attacking my head. 
I tried to crawl, and made it only a few feet further, before my arms gave out.

There was nothing more I could do.
I'm going to die.. This I'm sure of. 

So, for the first time in my life, I gave in;
I succumbed to the darkness, and even embraced it.
I was ready to die. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I felt a pair of arms curl around me, and the feint flutter of voices, but I couldn't make out who they were. 
I was too weak to fight them anymore. 

That's it... I know I'm dead.
Angels are carrying me home.

I floated out of consciousness one last time, before I was ready to greet the sun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ace.. my beautiful baby girl.." The bright lights from above bothered my eyes, so I couldn't fully open them, but I knew someone was gripping my hand, and sobbing. 

"D-Dad?" I muttered

"Yeah, baby... I'm here." He sighed with relief, and I fully extended my lids, allowing the light to filter through my irises. "Your mother too." 

"What happened?" I groaned, feeling pain circulate throughout my body. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. You were in a car crash.." More tears welled in my mothers gorgeous golden eyes. "I'm so sorry, darling. You were right... I shouldn't tell you how to live your life... Please just... just come home with us though... I don't want to see you hurting anymore." 

"Mom..." I grumbled, rubbing my head. 

"She's right, Isabella.." My father hushed her, "Now's not the time." 

"Do you remember anything about the crash?" My mother asked, "Anything prior too?"

Painfully, I remember everything...
I remembered the blackout in the bathroom.
The realization that Tim Collins is in cahoots with my kidnapper.  
The fight Steven and I had....
We're over... I knew he was tired of my shit, and all the baggage I carried... 

Tears welled up in my eyes and began to spill over, feeling like lava burning on my flushed cheeks.
"Yes." I cried. "I remember it all." 

"Steven and I are o-" I was cut off by the door bursting open, and the band rushing in. 

"Alex! Holy shit!" Joe, and Brad both yelled
"Jesus fucking christ, are you okay?" Tom was worried.
"What happened?!" Joey trailed behind. 

"I....." I paused thinking of the words. I didn't want them getting mad at Steven... he didn't deserve to have the whole band on his case. "I had to go back to the hotel for something..." I lied. "I lost control of the car, and got into an accident.." 

I wiped the tears from underneath my eyes, and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. 
When I opened them back up, I saw Steven sitting on the foot of the bed, with tears in his eyes. 

"Alex I-"

"Don't.." I cut him off. "The band is more important than I am.. Stick with them."

"But I-"

"I'm going back to Samarinia with my parents.." I cut him off again.
I looked around the room to see everyones jaws practically unhinge, including my parents. 

"You What?!" All of them said.
"Wait... Why are you going to Samarinia?" Joe questioned, stepping forward from the group. 

"Introducing, her royal highness, Princess Anastasia Cecilia Elena Dawson." I smiled sheepishly. 
I didn't think jaws could drop any farther than they had, but I was dead wrong. 

"No......"
"Fucking..."
"Way!" Joey, Tom, and Brad all finished each others sentences. 

"You weren't kidding..." Joe was amazed. "That morning in the bus... you weren't fucking kidding..."

"Nope." I smiled a little. 

"Can I have a minute alone with Alex, please?" Steven asked, never taking his eyes off of me. 
I could feel the tension in the room, as everyone hesitated to leave.

"It's fine.." I sighed.
With that, everyone went to wait out in the hall, while Steven unloaded on me. 

"Why?" He asked.

"Why what?" I folded my arms across my chest, and didn't dare to look him in the eyes. 

"You know what..." He sighed.

"No, I don't." I snapped, burning my firey gaze into him. "Why am I here having this conversation? Why am I sitting in a hospital? Why am I such a fucking hassle? Why what?!"

"Why are you leaving me?" He asked, tears pooling up in his eyes. 

"Because it's the right thing to do.." I looked away, holding back tears of my own. "You need the band... you need groupies... you need drugs, and someone that doesn't tie you down with all this unnecessary fucked-up-ness.." 

"But I want all that fucked-up-ness! It's what I fell in love with! I want to be there for you! I want to be able to come off of that stage, or come out of the studio, knowing that you're still there..." He swallowed hard.

"Steven.." I started, but he cut me off.

"What happened today.. I don't even know how to describe it... When I saw you lying there on the ground... I literally thought you were dead.. I walked out of that studio, expecting you to still be there, and you weren't... I thought you were gone forever.. " He let the tears continue to stream down his face. "That's a heartbreak I never want to experience ever again."

"I don't even know what to say..." I breathed. 

"Say you'll stay.." He climbed into the lumpy hospital bed with me, and wrapped his arms around me, burrying his face into the crook of my neck. "Please."

"Steven..." He was making this so hard on me... I know I'm not good for him. "I can't." 

"Yes you can.." I looked up from the thick head of curly brown hair, to the doorway, where my mother and father stood, gazing down at the rockstar and I.

"No... I can't.." I cried out. "I'm no good for him.. I'm only a hinderence. I can't do this to him." 
He picked up his head from my chest, and looked me directly in the eyes. 

"You're nothing but a help to me.. Please... Just give me one more chance... I'll believe anything you say... I'm having Collins thrown in jail as we speak... Please just.... just stay." 
I smiled and wiped a tear that was quickly escaping down the side of his perfectly chizzled face. 

"I'm so sorry, Steven." I sighed. 
Heartbreak and bewilderment left an excruciating burn across his face, and his eyes became distant and cold. 
Without another word, he climbed out of bed, and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.