Run Away From The Pain

It's Nobody's Fault

I woke up to the loud pinging sounds of guitar strings snapping. 
"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" Someone screamed. 

I yawned and rolled over, looking out the tiny window of the back bedroom on the tour bus, at the streams of light coming in. The light was still muted, and almost pinkish, so I knew it couldn't have been too late in the day. 
I turned over to look at the clock, and read out; 4:20
"It's too early for this shit." I grumbled, and rolled over, putting a pillow over my head. 

Though they were muffled through the pillow, I heard more strings snapping and another stream of cuss words flying around the bus. 
"WHAT THE FUCK. SHIT. GOD DAMNIT I FUCKING HATE THIS STUPID THING."
*thud* 

I shot out of bed, and ran over to the door, pulling it open, and hurling my body through the tiny opening it created. 
"What the fuck is going on out here?! It sounds like someone's getting shot!" I hissed, rubbing my tired eyes. "It's like 4 a.m, can't this wait until later?"

"No! It fucking can't!" Joe kicked his, now broken, guitar, and it flew across the bus, landing inches from Steven who was standing in pure shock.

"DUDE! What the fuck?! Now we have to get another one!" Steven yelled. Brad yawned and rolled off of his bunk in the side of the bus, somehow landing on his feet. Tom, and Joey were sleepily rubbing their eyes as well, looking very confused. 

"Calm down, and tell me what's the matter." I yawned. 

"The fucking strings keep breaking.. I swear to god, I've spent the past hour trying to re-string this fucking thing, and every single string I've used, broke." He muttered, sitting down, while putting his head into his hands. 
Joe was clearly overly stressed out about this new album.

The entire band has been working themselves to death, trying to finish this tour, as well as write this new album. It's sad, only because they don't know any other way... All they do is tour, and then write an album, and tour again. 

It all seemed to be taking the worst out on Joe, though. He's been getting less and less sleep each night. He's always tired, and cranky, and strung out. The only time he's not tired or cranky, is when he's absolutely gacked to the nines on blow... which is most of the time. So, he's either always tired, or always hyper, and high. 
This really worried me, I honestly feel like someday, they'll all work themselves to death. 

"Take a fucking break!" I silenced the bus with my loud outburst. "This is fucking killing you guys! You're literally working yourselves to death. Just take a break... Let's have a fun day.. go to an amusement park, or the beach, or something." 

"That's a sick idea!" Brad smirked. 
"Ohh! I love the beach!" Joey squealed enthusiastically.

"That sounds actually pretty cool.." Steven cut in, "Maybe we can all go up to Lake Sunapee when we get closer to the east coast." 

"The question is... Can Joe hold out that long?" Everyone turned to look at Joe, after my remark. 

"I can try.." He sighed. "I just need food, and fucking sleep." 

"The bedroom's all yours." I smiled.

"Thanks, Alex." He yawned as I stepped out of the way so he could shuffle into the shoebox sized room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a few hours since Joe calmed down and fell asleep. 
I'm honestly terrified that the band will crumble under all the stress they're being put under with this tour, and the upcoming album.... I'm definitely not helping when it comes to my anxiety attacks, and being chased by some psycho kidnapper. 

"What'cha thinkin' about?" Joey plopped down next to me on the couch.

"Ohh nothing.." I reminisced about the dreams I've been having. 

"Come on, Rag Doll, you've been acting weird lately... talk to me." He seemed genuinely concerned. 
He must've sensed that I noticed his emotions. "Steven, and the rest of the band have noticed too... You're acting kind of funny... I feel like Steven knows why, but he wont say anything.."

"Ohh... really," I ensured. "It's nothing.. I've just been having weird dreams."

"Weird like how... like the ones you used to have? Like the one back in San Diego?" 

"No! Not at all! They're really werid.. like, I'm dreaming about the future or something.." I was caught in a daze. 

"That's awesome! Are there flying cars, and robots everywhere?" Tom but into the conversation now. 

"No, they're of me.." I tried to think back to the most recent dream I've had. 

The woman that looked similar to me, was sitting in a large brown leather chair, in a study somewhere.
She was clad in another pristine lady-like suit, and was sitting on the phone, dialing in a number. 

"What do you mean.. about you?" Brad, and Steven now entered the conversation, and Joe shuffled out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. 

I figured I would tell them all about my dreams, since they were now all paying attention. 
"They're about me... and my life... Like I'm dreaming of this woman that looks exactly like me.. so she must be me, I guess."

"So trippy.." Joey gasped

"I know, right?" I answered, equally as perplexed as the rest of the band was. "It's all jive, though." 

"Ohh well, they're just dreams." Brad snorted
"Dream On..." Tom mused.

"Really..?" Steven and I both gave him an exasperated look, and then began to laugh like crazy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About an hour later, we pulled up to the Marriot Hotel in Colorado Springs, and stepped off the bus, and onto the wet pavement. 
Steven wrapped one arm around my shoulders, and lead the way into the hotel lobby. 
Because it was early in the morning, around 7 or 8, there weren't very many paparazzi, or fans to hound us, so it was smooth sailing to the front desk. 

As Steven checked us all in, I looked around me at the scenery of the hotel.
My how things change depending on the place you're in. 

Instead of the luxurious hotels that we've stayed at in L.A, San Diego, or Vegas, this hotel had the appearance of a Nature Lodge...
No wonder Steven chose this hotel. He's a little nature boy at heart. 

The hardwood floors were made out of somekind of expesnive wood, probably darkwood, or pine, or maple. Something very rich in color. There were green carpets spotted around the room, making it seem like patches of bright green grass were sprouting up around the room. 
All the furniture was made out of wood, and the entire palate of the room was made of earth tones.
It felt as though I was plopped in some cabin in the woods, in the middle of nowhere.
And that smell....
The smell of the fresh rain wafted into the lobby from the doors of the hotel.
Everything seemed fresh, and new. 
I loved it. 

"I feel like we're in the woods..." I gasped, drinking in the scene around me. "I love it!"

"I'm glad you do," Steven laughed "Cause I do too."

"Here are your room keys Mr. Tyler." The hostess handed him 5 different keys, with this overly enthusiastic grin on her face. "The bell hop should have your bags in your rooms momentarily. 

"Thanks, love." He smiled his knee-weakening smile, and then turned towards me. 

"Ready, baby?" He reached out, and grabbed my hand, causing me to flinch at the unexpected contact. 
The hostess blushed, and glowered at me, obviously jealous that I was living out every girl's fantasy, by being Steven Tyler's girlfriend.
Sometimes, it still hasn't hit me... that I'm actually his girlfriend. 
I giggled at the thought, which only made Steven grin wider, because I could tell, he knew exactly what I was thinking. 

We got back towards the little group, of the band, and handed out the keys. 

"Joey..." I smiled, and threw his key at him.
"Tom.." Steven did like wise.
"Uhh...." I think this is Brad's." I looked at the key, and then at Steven who nodded in encouragement. I tossed Brad his key, and then took the final one out of Steven's palm. 
"Joe, you crazy motherfucker.... go get some sleep." I laughed, throwing him his room key. "You need it.. You look like shit." I blew him a kiss as he playfully flipped me off. 

We all headed to the elevator, and went up to our rooms. 
The moment we all dispersed, and entered our separate rooms, I plopped down on the extremely comfortable looking bed. 
It was dressed in the softest looking comforter I've ever seen; It was a pale orange color, which faded into a red, and then a yellow, reminding me of a sunset. 

I flopped down, and closed my eyes, only to peel them back open when I realized... there's only one bed....
Steven normally get's a room with two beds for us, to make sure I don't freak out about being touched. 
He's very understanding about these things, considering my situation and all. 
I just hope he's not trying to tell me he wants to take it to the next level....
As much as I want too, I just don't think I'm ready... I mean, come on... I was kidnapped and raped for about 5 years.
If that doesn't put someone off to the idea of consentual sex, than I don't know what does. 

Steven came and flopped down onto the bed next to me, and curled his arms around me, while inhaling, then exhaling heavily, almost as if he was trying to rid his body of some toxin.
I did the same, only to have his musty intoxicating purfume fill my nostrils. 
This did nothing but make my eyes, and my heart swell with lust. 
His scent alone could send me over the edge.

I closed my eyes, breathing in his luscious pheromone, and slowly drifting into the land of unconsciousness.