Run Away From The Pain

The Last Child

The sweet smell of early morning rain, and must circled around me. 
I inhaled deeply, and opened my eyes, only to stare directly into the crook of Steven's neck. 
I smiled, and inhaled once more, trapping the intoxicating scent of Steven in my nostrils; then I slithered out of his arms, and walked into the bathroom attatched to the hotel room. 

I shimmied out of my large t-shirt, and sweat pants, and hopped into the shower, allowing the warm water to wash over me. 
I washed away all of yesterday, and only looked forward to today. 
I know that sounds corny, but that's my new motto. 
I'm free from my past, and all I have is my future. 

As I washed all of the suds from my hair, and my body, I thought about the days events, and what we should do, as a group. 
The band doesn't have a show tonight, since we like to get to the venue a day early, so we can rest up, and enjoy all the city has to offer. 
I figured this would also be a perfect day to get Joe's little vacation, so he doesn't go absolutely insane. 

I hopped out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around me.
With one arm, I held up the towel, and with the other, I wiped a line of fog from the mirror, so I could clearly see my complexion. 
My long chocolate hair was stringy, and soaked.
I picked up the fine toothed comb that was lying on the sink counter, and walked out of the bathroom, while running it through my hair. 

"Come easy, Go easy, alright till the risin' sun.." I sang softly to myself. 
I didn't have a sweet, sing-songy, melodious voice. I had a raspy, rock-n'-roll voice, kinda like Janis Joplin's. I liked my voice though... I feel like it's exactly how I should sound.. unlike some people who have a completely different voice from their personality. 

I continued humming, and singing, while unpacking clothes from my suitcase. 
I grabbed a pair of denim bellbottoms, and a yellow top, with large flowy sleeves. 
I strolled back into the bathroom, and shut the door behind me, quickly getting changed.
I brushed my teeth, and braided my lengthy brown locks, then moseyed back into the main bedroom of the hotel room, still singing. "You take what's good for you, and I'll take my freedom, 'cause lately it's been so hard now to make ends meet. And honey, your head is a one way street, and I gotta go the other way."

"Damn." I turned my head to see Steven sitting on the sunset colored sheets, sighing. 

"What?" I stopped dead in my tracks, almost as if I was a deer caught in someone's headlights.

"I love your voice. It's so raspy. So soulful." He grinned widely, making me blush 10 different shades of red. 

"Thank you." I smiled, and plopped down onto the bed, next to him. "So what's the plan for today?"

"We can all go out and grab some food, and then hit some stores, if you want?" I feel like the smiled plastered on Steven's face will never go away. He's actually the most adorable human being on the face of the planet. 

He scooted in a little closer to me, and smirked, as he started down at my lips. 
His lips were inches from mine, when suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door. 
"All the fucking time." He sighed, and stood up to go answer it. 

The second he turned the knob, the door burst open, and Joe, Joey, Brad, and Tom all came in, followed by some sketchy, 'fake-italian' looking man. 
He was relatively plump, and he tried to mimmick Steven's style in every way he could. 
He was wearing black bell bottoms, and a white cashmire shirt, which was unbuttoned to the top of his stomach. He had multiple gold chains around his neck, and large platform boots on.
His teeth were slightly crooked, and he had long light brown curly hair, cut in a style similar to Steven's.

"Who's ready to party?!" He pulled out a medium sized bag of white powder, from the pocket of his pants.
"Ahh, you must be the lovely, Alex." He grinned wickedly and bounded over towards me. 
I don't really like him, right off the bat. I backed up towards the headboard, as he tried to make his way to me, holding out a hand, which I assume was for me to shake; I could never tell anymore, considering I've been attacked so many times that I don't know who plans on using their hands for what, anymore. 

He came just a little closer, and I hopped off the bed, and planted my feet next to Steven. 

"Lex, Baby, I'm not gonna bite..." He looked me up and down, and then smirked, "Unless you're into that sorta thing.." 

The shock on my face must've been plain as day.
I quickly snapped myself out of the state I was in, and smacked him across the face as hard as I could. 
"You disgust me." I spat out. 
I spun on my heel, and marched out of the room, muttering extremely un-ladylike curses under my breath. 
Clearly, he knows my name, so the guys had to have told him all about me, and my story... which means he's a complete and utter pig for saying something like that. 

I shouldn't, however, have slapped him; now I won't get a taste of the blow he was offering, and it's been a while since my last hit. 
I didn't want to swallow my pride, so I just kept storming down the hall of the hotel, until I reached the elevator. I didn't want to go too far, so instead of going into the elevator, I simply slid my back down against the wall to the right of it, and took a deep breath. 

It took all of five minutes for someone to come walking down the hallway to my 'rescue'.

"Hey, hun, I'm sorry." I looked up, and smirked at the sight of the Steven wannabe.

"You're a pig." I spit pure venom, when I'm angry. Unfortunately for the manager, I was pissed as all hell.

"Alexandra, I'm really sorry. I didn't know... The guys just told me." He muttered, looking down at his shoes. "I know I can be a bit of a jive-asshole sometimes, but I wouldn't have said anything if I knew the situation..."

He sounded sad, but something about the tone of his voice sounded oddly apprehensive to me. 
I looked up, and found his holding out his hand, to help me up. 
I decided to give him a chance, and grasped it. 
He pulled me, so I was standing upright, in a matter of moments. 

"I'm Tim. Tim Collins, by the way." He smiled warmly. 

"I'm Alex. Alexandra Hastings." I smiled back, shyly. 
We walked back to the room, with smiles on our faces. 
Mine, however, was fake. I didn't trust this Tim character. 

"Well, now that we're all friends again, can we hit this blow, then get some food?" Joe grumbled. "I'm starving."

"Of course." Tim grinned evily, and pulled the baggie from his pocket. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh god, that was such a good fucking burrito." Steven exhaled as he pushed his plate away from him. 
I giggled, and then sighed, as my way of agreeing with him. 

"Ugh, you got that right." Collins, grinned. "If you guys will excuse me, I need to go make a phone call." 
The band thought nothing of it, but I obviously, was suspicious. 
Luckily, the phone booth he went to use, was right outside the window of the restaurant, near the booth we were seated in, so I had a clear view of him. 
I was often good at reading lips, so I tried to see what he was saying.... which failed. 

He was silent for a few moments after he put the change into the machine, and dialed a number, then he looked back at the restaurant for a moment, then turned around so I could see his face. He very did this every so often until the conversation ended.
When he hung up, he fixed the coat that was wrapped around his shoulders, and then walked back inside, and sauntered over to the table. 

"Sorry about that, boys." He grinned, falsely, and reclaimed his seat next to Steven and I.

"What was that all about?" I raised a suspicious eyebrow. It shocked me how no one else realized how much of a sleeze this guy was. 

"Oh, a friend of mine is in the hospital, and I promised I'd check up on him." He said, nonchallantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I peered down, embarrassed, then regained my whits. "What's his name? Is he okay? What happened?"

"What's with all the questions?" Steven, and Joe asked, simultaneously. 

"I just wanna know!" I sighed exasperated. 

"His name's Robbie Haneran, and yeah he's fine. He got into a bit of an accident, but he'll be okay. He's getting out in a few days."

I felt bad, asking. He seemed serious, and I felt like a douchebag. 

"Oh... I'm sorry." I sighed, giving up my inquisition. 

Tim payed the bill, as we all got up to leave. 
Joe, Brad, Tom, and Joey were already outside, because Joe wanted to have a smoke. 
As Steven and I were walking out the door, another couple was walking in.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" I muttered as I bumped into the man. 
He smiled calmly, and forgave me. Something about the grey streaks in his hair, or the green in his eyes, made him seem eerily familiar, but I shrugged off the feeling, and continued through the door. 

The woman, however, didn't shrug off the feeling that she got.
"Excuse me... Miss?" Her soft voice cooed, grasping my attention. 
I turned around and looked directly into her golden eyes. 
As I did so, she gasped, as tears filled her eyes. 

"Yes?" I asked. She seemed familiar as well, but I couldn't quite place where I've seen them before. 

"You.... You seem familiar." She said. Her voice was so soft, and her words so perfectly pernunciated, it's as though she's taken speech classes everyday of her life. 

"You do as well, I just don't know where I've seen you before." I smiled. 

"What's your name, darling?" The man smiled.

"Alexandra." I giggled a bit. "But all my friends call me Alex." I looked up at Steven, as I mentioned the word 'friends', who was grinning down at me. 

"What a lovely name." The man smiled. 

"Thank you." I chuckled a bit.
Just then, Tim came out of the entrance to the restaurant.

"Ready guys?" He nodded his head slightly, acknowledging the older couple, and then returned his gaze to Steven and I. "You have to get back to the studio and begin recording the next few tracks of the album." 

"Uh... No." I cut Tim off. "Joe's working himself to death. They'll do the album some other time. They need a break rght now." 

"Fine.... Your majesty." He put a sarcastically menacing emphasis on the last word, which made my stomach churn. 
We turned to leave, but the woman stopped me again. 

"Alexandra.." She called after me. 

"Please, call me Alex." I smiled.

"Okay, Alex.." She smiled. "Is there another time I can see you? I know where I've seen you before, but this doesn't seem like an appropriate place to discuss the topic."

"Ohh... well I'm only in town for the next two days, then we're off to god-knows-where, to finish the tour." I chuckled, not even realizing what the woman just said. "But we could go out to dinner tonight or something, if you'd like?" 

"Of course." She grinned. "Shall I pick you up?"

"Uh.... I don't ever get into cars with people I don't know.... no offense." I muttered, "But I can meet you, at the steakhouse attatched to the hotel I'm staying at. Say... 7:30?" 

"Sounds wonderful." The man, and woman both smiled kindly. 
I gave them the address of the hotel we were staying at, and then we went on our way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was around 6:30 when we all arrived back at the Marriot.
I quickly changed into a nicer, orange blouse, and a flowy white maxi-skirt.
I put on a pair of brown suede boots, and wrapped a white scarf around my head. 
I also dabbled with a bit of make-up, putting on a hint of eyeliner, and some mascara. 

When I was finished getting ready, I stepped out of the bathroom, and into the main bedroom, where the guys were all hanging out. 

"How do I look?" I asked, twirling around a bit, letting the skirt fanning out from my legs. 

"Sexy!" Steven and Joe grinned maliciously. 
"Stunning!" Tim, Ralph, Tom and Brad, all chimed in. 

"You look beautiful.." a bashful Joey stammered. 

"Why thank you." I smiled at their kind remarks. 

"Are you sure you don't want any of us to come?" an uneasy Steven asked, gesturing around the room.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I mean, They looked about 50 years old... I'm sure I can take on a 50 year old woman, if she tried anything funny.." I snorted. 

"Atleast take Ralph." He pleaded. 

"No." I grinned. "I. Will. Be. Fine, Steven. I'm not a child."

"Well... You're the youngest out of all of us... so you're the Last Child." Joey explained.

"I'm no child." I repeated.

"You're right.... You're just a punk in the street." Brad laughed.

"If that wasn't such a good lyric, I'd be mad at you... write that one down!" I chuckled, and looked at the clock on the bedside table; 7:25. "I gotta go, guys. I shouldn't be back too late." 

"Okay, love." Steven smiled, and stood up, walking me the thirty feet to the door. He kissed me goodbye, and then closed the door behind me.

I walked into the elevator, deep in thought at what could be the new the woman wanted to share with me. Where did I meet her before? I've never actually met her, so why did she seem so familiar?
The bell rang, and the doors creaked open, allowing me the space to step out of them, and into the lobby. 

I paused at the entrance to the steakhouse, and smiled at the hostess. 
"Hello, I'm not sure if my guests are already here or not... But Party of 3 for Alexandra Hastings?" I asked. 

"Of course, Ms. Hastings. Your guests are seated and waiting for you." She smiled warmly, and grabbed a menu from behind her hostess stand. "Please follow me."

We walked down a dim corridor, and then suddenly, the room opened up into this large dinning room, with white-clothed tables everywhere, and little candles resting attop each table. 
Even in the dim light, I saw the man and woman sitting at the table.

He was in a pristine silver suit, that made his silver streaked hair, stand out even more than it had against his natural dark brown locks. His attire was completed with a deep purple tie, and a familiar pin.
The woman was actually stunning. 
She had long curly brown hair, and piercing golden eyes.
She was clad in an elegant dress, matching the color of her husband's tie.
She too was wearing the same pin as he.

Then... it hit me.
It was them.

It was the man and the woman from my dreams. 
I wasn't dreaming of my future, I was dreaming of the now.
I was dreaming of meeting people I didn't know I already knew. 

Cautiously, I followed the hostess towards the table, and sat down in the one empty seat that was left. 

"Is there anything I can get you to drink?" She asked, placing a menu down infront of me. 

"Uhm... just a water, please?" I gulped, as she smiled and walked away.
I turned my attention to the woman from my dreams... nightmares..?

"Hello Alexandra." She cooed. 

"Hello, Ma'am." I smiled at her. "Sir." I turned to her husband and flashed a smile his way, as well. 
"I'm sorry, I never got your names..."

"My name is Andrew Dawson, and this is my gorgeous wife, Isabella." Andrew smiled, and grasped his wife's hand. 

"Andrew, and Isabella, It's a pleasure to meet you both, and can I say you guys make an awesome couple." I was truly jealous. One day, hopefully, I could be married to someone and tuly love them. "How long have you been together for?"

"Almost 30 years." Isabella cut in. 
The waitress came back with my water, and took our orders, then waltzed away again. 

"Now.. if you don't mind my asking... what is it that you do for a living, Alexandra?" Isabella asked. "Are you in a University? You seem like an appropriate age..."

"No.. I... uh..." I was stuttering on my words. I didn't want to seem ignorant, or illiterate, considering they seemed so educated and regal. "I actually never finished high school.." 

"And why is that?" Andrew eyed me, in a strange, yet almost understanding way. 

"Well... When I was about 15 or 16, I was kidnapped.. I haven't been home since, actually..." I felt a lump rising in my throat, but I refused to let it consume my poise, so I swallowed it and continued the conversation. "Now, I don't have a job.. but luckily, I met Aerosmith, and we've all become good friends. They offered me a ride back to New Jersey, via touring. So for now, I'm just hanging out on tour, until I get back to Jersey." 

"That's very interesting.." Isabella seemed very contradictory; half of her expression screamed judgement, while the other half screamed sympathy. 

"Yeah, and can I ask what you do?" I was sheepish for whatever reason. 

"We're both into politics." Andrew and Isabella both finished each others sentences. 

After a few moments of pleasant silence, the waitress brought out our food. 
I got this delicious honey glazed salmon, while Isabella got the talapia, and Andrew got a large steak. 

We all began to dig into our food, and after a few more minutes of silence, which was slowly being filled by the hushed chatter of other's dinning, and the scrape of forks and knifes on plates, I decided to engage in conversation once again. 

"So, why did you need to speak to me, other than at the restaurant this afternoon?"

She looked to her husband nervously, and then took a deep breath. 
"Alexandra.." She sighed. "You're not who you think you are."

"Excuse me..?" I choked.

"Your real name isn't Alexandra Hastings. That's the name your uncle picked out for you, when we asked him to take you." She replaced her concerned look, with a cold, and serious gaze... Her eyes were just as piercing as mine were, and honestly, it gave me the chills. 

"My uncle? I only have one uncle, who lives in some unheard of country out in Europe somewhere... and I've never even met him.." I snorted. 

"Your uncle moved to the States a few months before you were born, for safety reasons... And, your birth name, is not Alexandra Hastings, but rather Anastasia Cecilia." Andrew spoke for his wife.

That name sounded so familiar... 
The dream.

"Our daughter.......................... Anastasia Cecilia will be no more..."

This couldn't be happening..
I wasn't ever dreaming about my future... I was dreaming about my past. 

"So.... you..... You're...." I couldn't think straight. 
The room was spinning, and swelling with white noise. 
I felt as though I was going to pass out. 

"So you're my parents?" 

"Yes... You are Anastasia Cecilia Elena Dawson." Isabella spoke softly, almost as if she didn't want to attract attention. "You're my daughter, and I've missed you so much."
The tears that pooled in her eyes, broke my heart.

"But... I don't understand... Why.... why would you give me up? I was just a little kid.." My golden eyes were mimmicking my mothers, and were filling up with tears. 

"It's a very complicated situation.." Andrew sighed. "There was a man who was after you, and we needed to protect you." 

"I.... It just makes no sense to me." The noise in the room swelled to an unbelievable level, almost so that my ears couldn't take it anymore. 
"I need to go..." I gasped, and stumbled away from the table, running out of the restaurant, and into the elevator. 

As the cool metal doors shut infront of me, I sunk down the the floor of the cart, and curled my knees up into a ball, trying my best to control my breathing. 
The doors dinged open once again, and I managed to crawl my way out of the elevator. 
I scrambled to my feet, and sprinted to the door of the hotel room, and fumbled with the key, for a few minutes. 

I finally unlocked the door, and swung the door open.
Ignoring the stares of Joe, Ralph, Tim, and Steven, I sprinted into the bathroom, and slammed the door behind me. 
I made my way over to the toilet bowl, and heaved violently, releasing all of the contents of my stomach. 
"Alex!" Steven and Joe were knocking in the door violently, trying to get me to open it. I couldn't physically move. I was too weak. 

The amount of traumatizing information a person can receive in a given amount of time is a surprisingly low number....
I think I exceeded that number by three or four times itself.
Have you ever been so stressed you puked everywhere?
Yeah... that's the outcome that my life has become.

When I was finished, I brushed my teeth, and recollected my whits.
I calmly opened the door, and walked past Steven and Joe, ignoring their plea's for an answer. 
I plopped face down on the bed, and just contemplated my very existance. 

My name isn't even Alex.... I honestly don't know who I even am... 

I just fell as though every concept of reality has just been completely ripped out from under me, and I can honestly say;
Even after spending 5 years, alone, locked in some perverts basement, I've never ever felt as alone as I do now..