The Incredible League of Goth Pizza Haters (RH)

Part 17

---Sylvia---

That's how I keep myself together. I haven't cried yet. So if I don't cry at all, then everything will just fade away and I'll wake up. If I cry then everything is real. This can't be real. Nothing's been real since the night with the strobe lights. It won't be till I see the body. 

'The Body.' I wonder if that's all she is now.

***

I still haven't seen 'The Body' yet. I saw my brother first. The older one, not the one I tried to speak to on the phone during the brief tour brake. He picked me up at the airport and gave me an uncomfortable hug before driving me home in still silence. The closer I got the more nauseous I became. When we pulled in the driveway Dani was sitting on the steps crying. She got up and ran over and hugged me for a while. I hugged back and felt tears in my eyes. 

No. Not yet.

I blinked them away and we went inside. A fortress of pain. Grief. I remembered how sometimes when someone is dead or dying, others give them food. That must have been what's happening because the kitchen was crammed with food. Baskets of fruit and bread tied with ribbons. Maybe they're trying to fill the space in our lives where she once stood with food. Or fat people.

"We've been getting them in the mail." Dani says, gesturing to the crammed kitchen. Her face extremely pained, "Everyone misses her a lot."

"Yeah." I say, because I didn't have anything else to. There's a reason I've been avoiding all social medias and my phone in general. The internet has heard by now, Dani made sure of that. Now not even the internet was somewhere to escape. 

My brother, the one who only loves his girlfriend, the one named Nick, is sitting in the living room with the goddess of his world. I don't go in there. Instead, she comes to me. Hugs me. Nick trails in behind her, takes her hand, and leads her back to the living room like she some fragile old lady hobbling alongside death. 

Like she was the one who died.

***

---Ricky---

I didn't hear until the next morning that Via was gone. Not until I saw Meg lugging a bag with her and she told me Via left for family reasons, and they couldn't perform without their singer. She looked exhausted, deep drooping circles under her eyes. They all did, especially Cody. I asked Meg what had happened with Via's family and she told me to ask her myself. I texted her a few hours later and got no reply. I sent her a meme with a sarcastic comment, she almost always laughed at my stupid sarcasm laced responses. 

The days dragged by and I grew increasingly lonely. I spoke to fans, did interviews and tried to be more social with some of the other bands. I still missed her. I thought more and more about her and checked all her social medias on and off. She wasn't posting anything. It was like she just cut herself off from the world.

It was through the mild stalking of her twitter that I found her sister, Dani's account. That's how I found out what had happened. All her recent tweets were about the death of her twin sister, Abby. Each and every recent one, saying hopeless depressing things or thanking others for their support cause she was so hopeless and depressed. I'm not being a sarcastic asshole, she had every reason to be.    

I texted Via. She didn't respond, she never even read it. I feel horrible for her, I would be devastated if I ever lost my sister. I tried to get in a frame of mind where I could understand what she was going through but on a certain level I knew I could never do that. I could never feel her pain the way she felt it. 

So after texting her everyday for over a week, attempting to call her several times and checking up on all her social medias, I decided to stop thinking about her. She'll call when she's ready. 

Still, on some stupid selfish irrational level, it hurt that she never said goodbye.