Yesterday, I Loved You

Chapter VI • Acceptance

/Jhoana/

"Jia, si Bea ba nakita mo?"

"Hindi nga nagte-text sakin. Hindi rin sinasagot yung mga tawag ko. May nangyari ba?"

Last night hinatid ni Bea si Mads, past 11 na din nun. Hindi na siya nag-message or tumawag man lang sakin mula nun. At ngayon, afternoon yung training namin. Dati kasi kapag gantong oras pa yung training, nagkikita na kami sa mall or kahit saan pero, ngayon naguumpisa na yung training wala parin siya. And look who's here, Mads. Pero bat di niya kasama si Bea? Nagkaayos na kaya sila?

"Mads! Si Bea?"

Hindi niya sinagot yung tanong ko, tumingin lang siya sakin tas ngumiti. Tumalikod siya sakin para kausapin si coach at yung iba pang school's administrators. Bakit naman niya kailangang kausapin yung mga yun? Mukhang seryoso.

"Maddie are you sure?"

Narinig kong sabi ng isang administrator. Ano ba kasi yun? Sobrang seryoso ng usapan, para umiyak siya at yakapin pa si coach. Ano ba talagang nangyayari? Halos lahat kaming mga players naka-focus lang kay Maddie, halos lahat.

"Coach, I need to do this kasi..."

"Maddie, if this is your final decision then we will respect it, okay?"

Nakakagulo. Ano kayang nangyari kagabi? Decision? Ano ba kasi yun?

"Salamat po. Mauna na po kami ha..."

"Okay. Sige at mag-iingat kayo ha?"

"Opo."

××××××××××

/Bea/

Para kong isang puppet na naglalakad sa may hallway papuntang gymnasium. Late nako, alam ko. Hila-hila ko lang yung bag ko, na para bang wala akong lakas. Maisip ko palang kasi na magte-training kami sa iisang lugar, gusto ko nalang umuwi. Last night is just a nightmare, pero lokohin ko man ang sarili ko, alam kong totoo lahat yun. Tapos na talaga kami, sirang-sira na talaga. After that night, hindi ko narin pinakialaman yung phone ko, hindi nako lumabas ng room ko. Pero, dahil nga may training kailangan kong gawin to.

Dumiretso muna ko sa may comfort room para siguruhin na magiging malakas yung loob ko pagdating dun, pag nagkita na ulit kami. Na kailangan kong mag-pretend na, invisible siya. Na hindi ko siya kilala, na wala nakong pakialam sakanya. Hindi ko man alam kung pano gawin lahat yun, kailangan.

I looked at the mirror. And I saw a lady, crying desperately.

"Bea...simple lang naman kasi yung gagawin mo e. Magpanggap ka lang..."

I wiped my tears. I don't want her to see that I can't stand for my words. I'm strong, I can do this. I can pretend that we're not friends or even ex best friends, we're just acquaintance. I can treat her naman as teammate right?

I can sense that there will be awkwardness. Of all things, I really hate that kind of feeling, that uncomfortable feeling.

××××××××××

/Maddie/

Sana maging maayos na ang lahat. I hope that my decision will fix all of these troubles. Even if it hurts, this is the right thing to do now. I have no choice, remember? Just one choice, me or us? I've chose us, to free her. And like a flash of a light, everything turned into, like this...

"Mom, mauna na po kayo sa kotse. I'll just go to the comfort room."

"Sige. I'll just wait for you there, then after mo diyan, we'll fix your papers na ha."

"Opo."

Trying to reminisce everything in the past, my years here in Ateneo De Manila were very amazing. Having a team like ALE is an opportunity. Becoming an 'Atenista' is a pleasure. I can't say any negatives here, everything is worth it. I'm very satisfied, I'm not regretful that I have spent my years here in this university, but sadly I can't continue my remaining years here. I need to be mature enough to face this reality, that I need to sacrifice my career for my health. I'll miss being here, the ambiance, like a home. I can't find any place like this...