Yesterday, I Loved You

Chapter II • A Night of those Meaningful Tears

/Maddie/

"Bea..."

"Hm?"

Nasa isang coffee shop kami ngayon ni Bea. Saturday ngayon, and we don't have classes naman daw. Naalala ko lang din kasi, nung nakaraang araw when I've fainted, I just woke up in my room without her. Nag-iwan lang siya ng sticky note sa may mirror ko "Get well soon".

"Dinala mo ba ko sa clinic nung nahimatay ako?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

My heart beats faster and louder. Napahigop nalang ako sa coffee ko dahil sa kaba. What if may sinabi yung school's doctor namin kay Bea? This is not the right time, paano nalang kung siya pa yung maging dahilan ng bagay na iniiwasan kong mangyari?

"Ma-may sinabi ba sayo si Mrs. Celso?"

"May dapat ba siyang sabihin?"

"Wala naman. Nagtatanong lang..."

Grabe, akala ko sinabi na sakanya ni Mrs. Celso. Thank God, makakahinga na talaga ko ng maluwag. Peace of mind, I can have it now. Mas mabuti na sina mommy nalang muna yung nakakaalam, ayokong madamay pa si Bea sa pesteng sakit na to. Alam ko naman na gagaling din ako, kaya wala ng dapat pang ipag-alala.

"Wala naman pala. So, bakit ka pa nagtanong?"

I can see the tension on her eyes, I can feel the coldness of her voice, and immediately a blast of silence stroke us for a minute. I can't get it. What I have done?

"Bea, may problema ba tayo?"

"May dapat ba tayong problemahin?"

She looked a far as she bit her lower lip and took a really deep breath. Ano bang nangyayari sakanya? Hindi ko na talaga to maintindihan.

"Bea? What's happening?"

"Hindi ko rin alam. Mali, wala pala talaga akong alam!"

Nagulat ako nang marinig kong tumaas yung boses niya. She looked at me, without any emotion on her face. Ngayon lang ulit siya nagkaganto, the last time na nagkaganto siya ay nung mag-break sila nung first boyfriend niya. And now I really have no any idea, kung bakit kami nag-aaway, what is the reason of this argument?

"Bea, please lower your voice. Maraming tao."

She ignored me. As she threw her awful gaze on me. I just wanted to melt, I just wanted to hide. My heart pumps faster and my hands are unquestionably shaking.

"Fine. Let's go."

As soon as she stand up and set her back on me, I tried to be strong. But my tears betrayed me, I can't stop it anymore. I clutched on my jeans, as I bit my lip to stop my tears. I tried to clear my voice, to speak.

"Sorry Bea. Kung may nagawa man ako sayo..."

She turned to look at me, and a fierce Bea De Leon, is now in front of me. She walked through me, her eyes are just staring at me. And I don't know how it happened, but the last thing I knew was, we're hugging each other.

"Sorry Maddie, naguguluhan lang naman talaga kasi ako ngayon. Sorry..."

××××××××××

/Bea/

Nasa comfort room ngayon si Maddie, nasa cubicle siya ngayon. Nagpaiwan lang ako dito sa labas ng C.R. Almost 30 minutes narin siya sa loob kaya nag-decide nakong puntahan na siya sa loob.

"Mom, mamaya nalang po kayo tumawag. Opo iinumin ko nalang po yun mamaya. Mom, I'm not that careless. I can take care of myself, and you don't have to worry, I am with Bea right now."