Yesterday, I Loved You

Chapter XXVIII • Chasing Heartbeats

/Bea/

"1,000..."

I'm sitting on the bed right now, while counting our remaining money. I've planned to go outside this small world to find a job. A job that will give us food to eat, clothes to wear, and house to live in...

My dreams for Jho and I were very uncountable. Except that, I want to have a family with her in my future, I am also planning to have my own house with her, own children, and things that will complete our life with our own family...

"Sapat na kaya?" I muttered as the possible payments came into my mind.

It's our 4th day here already. Tita Maggie told us yesterday, that we can stay here in her place until I have the enough money to rent a house or a room for Jho and I...

"Hm. I think so. 1,000 pesos can find me a job, right? What do you think, babe?" I asked, as I turned to look at her but she's still sleeping pa pala.

"Ow. Maybe, I'll just inform you nalang when I come back mamaya..." I whispered as I prepared my small bag.

Time check, 7:30am. Great timing, I think this is the perfect time to find a job outside, I am just thinking lang naman. Because, you know? I don't have any idea or experience about job searching...

I immediately stand from the bed as I saw the time on the clock, then I started to fix the edge of my  shirt while looking at myself in the mirror...

Gahdnes. Why I'm so nervous ba? Di naman nila ko kayang tanggihan, diba? Charr lang naman.

"Sa ganda mo Beatriz, no one will try to reject you..." I muttered to myself again as my lips formed a smile. "But, there's a lady who's more beautiful than you... Mas di nila kayang tanggihan si Jhoana..."

I looked at her again. She's very peaceful now, not thinking about our problems. Sa ganitong oras ko lang din naman nakikita yung kalmado niyang mukha, walang iniisip na problema. This is the only time I can be given the chance to look at her face this close again...

"I love you so much Jho..." I whispered as I knelt on the floor to brush some of her hair that was covering her face. "Promise, I will do everything for you..."

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/Jhoana/

"Mads! Please sagutin mo na kasi yung phone mo!" I shouted in between my sobs.

1:00 am. And wala pa ring Beatriz na bumabalik sa bahay nato, saan ba siya kasi nagpunta? Bakit ang tagal niya bumalik? Diba kanina pa siya umalis?

Nagising nalang kasi ako na wala na siya sa tabi ko kaninang umaga, then tita Maggie told me na umalis daw siya with her small bag. Ano? Iniwan niya na ko dito?

Bea please. Hindi ko na talaga alam yung gagawin ko ngayon, iiyak nalang ba ko dito habang hinihintay ka? Please bumalik ka na kasi...

"Hey Jhoana, calm down please..." Dennise told me while holding my left hand.

"Oo nga naman Jhoana, malay mo baka na-traffic lang..." Tita Maggie said, pero halata rin naman sakanya na nag-aalala na din siya.

"Sorry po, di ko lang po maiwasang isipin na baka may nangyari na sakanya kaya di pa siya nakakauwi..."  I said while pressing my eyes to temporarily stop my tears.

Ganto ba yung pinagdaanan niya nung umaga na gumising siyang wala nako? Ganto ba yung feeling non? Kung ganito yon, ayoko na please, tama na...

"Don't worry na Jho, uuwi din siya. Let's just wait..." Dennise said as she made her way through her room. "And, I know naman na di ka niya kayang iwan..." She added as she closed her room's door na.

She can't leave me naman, right? Bea can't leave me, because she loves me. She can't do what I did to her, because she knew how it feels. Alam niyang masasaktan ako, so di niya yun gagawin...

"Hija, mauna na ko ha? May work pa kasi ko tomorrow. Matulog ka na rin, at bukas paggising mo nasa tabi mo na ulit siya..." Tita Maggie said while smiling.

What if, gumising ako nang wala pa rin siya sa tabi ko? Paano nako? Paano na kami? Umalis na ba siya para umuwi na sakanila? Para sundin na yung gusto ng mom niya? Please no, hindi kasi pwede...

"Hello Jho?" Ow. Finally sinagot na din ni Mads.

I think Mads, know kung nasan si Bea. Sila lang naman kasing  dalawa yung nagkakausap the past 2 days...

"H-hello Mads, please..." I suddenly stopped because of my tears, my voice cracked because of my deep emotions inside...

"Hey, may problema ba Jhoana? It's already 1am?" She asked me worriedly.

"Mads, kasi..." I cleared my voice and speak again, "Si Bea di pa siya umuuwi hanggang ngayon..." Then I cried again right after masabi ko yung last word.

"What? Please tell me, saan ba siya pumunta?" She asked, then yung sound parang bumangon na siya sa bed niya.

"I don't know eh, sabi lang ni tita kaninang umaga when I woke up, umalis daw si Bea with her small bag..." I explained as I wiped my tears.

"I'll pick you up Jho, please tell me the address..."

××××××××××

/Jhoana/

My heart was pounding as this ride started, my eyes were drowning because of tears, my body wasn't in condition now. And every time I speak, my tears were next to release...

"Jho, stay here. I'll ask lang tita Det and tito Elmer if nandito na ba si Bea... Just stay here Jhoana, okay?" Mads said as she parked her car on the dark.

"Better for you to just stay here inside my car, alam mo naman kung gaano kagalit sayo si tita Det noon? Diba?"

I just nodded a yes to her as she walked through the gate...

Yung bahay na tinakasan namin ni Bea noon, where everything started, where Bea sacrificed all of her, just to have me in her arms...their house in Tarlac...

I'm not in myself right now, I'm empty, I'm totally numbed. My pain was deep, and my cure was far away from me. How can I heal myself? If I'm not the cure for this, if si Bea lang talaga...

"Please, Bea..." I muttered as I dialed her phone again.

It's my 50+ try. Pero, sa mga tawag na yon, wala akong sagot na natanggap kahit isa...
I slapped my forehead and stamped my feet hard, not bothering of the pain it may cause.

I looked at Maddie, who's now standing in front of the gate while using the door bell repeatedly.

"Paano kung nasa loob na nga siya?" I muttered while staring at the gate, waiting for it to finally open.

A maid opened the gate for Mads, and asked her, then when Mads answered her, the maid immediately closed the gate and went inside. Mads took a glance at me and sighed, while her hands were on the pockets of her hoodie. I know naman, na she's also nervous by this time...

The gate opens for another time and tita Det was now in front of Maddie...

My tears flowed once again, that night pulled me back. Of how Bea fought with her mom just for me. Of how her dad and kuya convinced me to break up with her. Of how I cried, how I told them that I really love their daughter...

I opened the car door...

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Salamat sa 8k+ reads sa YILY. Spread #LOVE&PEACE💑 Never shall we sink mga shippers ng #JhoBea🚢 Don't be too paranoid, they can save their #FRIENDSHIP mga beh. Just continue supporting our idols, Isabel Beatriz and Jhoana Louisse... Kapit lang mga ka #friendshipgoals🙏

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