Yesterday, I Loved You

Chapter XXII • Recollecting OUR Fragments

/Sabrina/

"And I still love her, Sab..."

Echoing in my ears everytime I stop on what I am doing, everytime I remember what happened last day between Bea and Louisse. And I'll admit it, it's very painful for my senses, especially for my heart...

She STILL love her, and alam kong ganon rin naman si Bea sakanya, kay ate Jhoana Louisse...and yun yung masakit. It's hard to accept that her heart was already settled with my cousin's.

'And I STILL LOVE her...'

Ate Louisse loves Bea so much and base on her stories, Bea was the only person who made her life complete. Every time she tells story about "Louisse and Beatriz" her tears always fall, sometimes because of happiness, but most of the time it's because of the pain.

And yes, may past nga pala talaga silang dalawa ni Bea. They've been together before...hindi narin imposible na maging sila, because they're both volleyball players in ADMU...so ibig sabihin, everyday na silang magkasama noon pa man.

Ate Louisse told me that her parents and the parents of Beatriz, never knew what's about them. Because, before everything about Jho and Bea spilled, they were already over. And the "FOREVER" that they're trying to reach was just written in a book, and their "HAPPILY EVER AFTER" was just their wild imagination that was curved on their hearts, that "LOUISSE & BEATRIZ" was just their nightmare and never be in reality...

She had also told me that she's Beatriz' first kiss, first girlfriend and the first person who made love with her...in other words, she's Bea's FIRST LOVE.

But, how about me? I love her TOO...I really love Bea...E, mahal ba naman niya ko? Malamang sa malamang, hindi.
And everytime I think about it, there's something inside me that was trying to squeeze my heart slowly. It's like draining my soul and hope, and the thoughts of how Bea loves Louisse was killing me off.

"Sabrina?"

The reality was, I am loving a person, and that person wasn't care about me, about my feelings....

"Hey Sab?"

It's Loyce Rosheleigh Agno my cousin and also, she's one of my BEST friends. Marami nakong na-kwento sakanya about sa LIKES and HATES ko sa isang tao. But, never pa kong nag-open sakanya ng topic about sa LOVE LIFE ko.

We're here kasi in our family house sa may Bulacan, just a typical family reunion lang...and nandito rin kasi sila Louisse with Jaja and their family... AGNO FAMILY reunion.

And I am here in one of my favorite part of this house, the rooftop. Because it's far from their noise, from their laughter, and from their stories about their love lives. Malayo sa kanilang lahat. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko silang makasama, mahirap lang talagang magpanggap.

And nagpapahangin na din ako dito, because province like Bulacan owned fresh air. And para na din mahimasmasan nako sa mga nangyari sakin last day, and of course this is the only time na makakapag-isip ako about don...

"Sab, are you okay?" She asked me while staring at my face, then nag-nod lang ako without saying anything. "Hinahanap ka na kasi sa baba, they were asking for your help, kailangan ka daw as their photographer, since ikaw naman daw kasi yung magaling don..." She explained while handling me her camera.

Bat ako pa? Meron pa namang iba, diba? And wala naman ako sa mood para magpanggap sa harap nilang lahat na masaya ako, na ayos lang na nasa harap ko yung taong mahal ng mahal ko...

"Just tell them na wala ako ngayon sa mood na maging photographer nila, si ate Louisse nalang..." I said while looking afar.

SILENCE.