Falling Dawn (II)

Chapter 34

"Does it still hurt?" I asked Tom as we had a coffee on the wooden table on the deck. I hadn't asked Tom about his injury yet. For some reason, he'd always managed to steer the conversation to me.

"You mean my back?" Tom asked like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Yes, Tom. I mean your back," I confirmed. A wave of steam travelled towards Tom as I blew my hot coffee.

"No," he answered boldly. "It never did."

"Tom, you've been stabbed with a knife in your back. That hurts. Even you." When Peter had moaned too much about his little sneezes and coughs, Tom never complained. But I wanted him to complain. I wanted to be able to be there for him. I wanted him to need me.

"Lisa, darling. I don't feel physical pain." His eyes which were focused on mine gained on depth. "Something in my brain doesn't pass on that sensation. Or maybe it's my spinal cord."

"It's fine to say that you don't feel well though, okay? I just want you to know that."

"I know, but I'm fine. All I could think off when I was lying on top of you there in the parking lot was whether you're hurt. As long as you're fine, I am.

After going on a short bushwalk, Tom spent some time preparing our upcoming trip, and I also used that chance to prepare myself a bit more for India.

Following a lovely lunch, we both went to bed to catch up on some much needed sleep after a short and turbulent night. I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else but in Tom's arms. Brooding over all that was going on, I struggled falling asleep, but knowing that at least Tom got his sleep made me happy.

Too soon, a knock on the door interrupted the silence. To my relief, Tom hadn't woken from the noise. As quietly as I could I got out of bed, closing the bedroom door carefully behind me. Hastily, I smoothed my hair on the way to the door, convinced it would be the police. They had become something like regular guests ever since I met Tom. Never before had I had the police on my doorsteps and now, I couldn't even count the times I had spoken to them anymore.

To my surprise though, it wasn't the police waiting outside. Peeking through the door crack, Hannah's battered face stared back at me.

"I really don't want to talk to you right now, Hannah!" I foreclosed her every argument or apology, trying to close the door. But Hannah pushed against it from the outside. With pleading eyes she apologised, "I'm so sorry, Lisa. You have no idea. I couldn't sleep all night from worry and guilt. Just give me five minutes, please."

"Seriously?" I questioned her sarcastically, letting go of the door to grant Hannah entry. "You couldn't sleep all night?"

"Please, you have to believe me. I feel terrible for what happened." Hannah was now standing inside the lounge room. She looked miserable, so miserable that I almost felt sorry for her. Her eyes moved back and forth from trying to make contact with mine to a shy staring at the floor. She didn't wear any make-up, which was unusual for her, and her shaggy hair hang in her eyes, covering a good part of her face. So we wouldn't wake up Tom, I led her to the kitchen. I was still so angry with her that it didn't even cross my mind to offer her a drink. Sitting across to each other on the square table, Hannah continued her apology.

"If we could repeat last night, I'd be staying in the car. I was wrong. It's entirely my fault. I couldn't bear to lose you as my friend. Please, Lisa."

It was one thing that she had apologised, but another that she hadn't even asked about Tom's wellbeing. She just didn't seem to get it. It was all about her.

"Let me tell you something, Hannah." I tried to stay calm, leaning forward over the table. "I love Tom and I'm not asking you for your permission. He is more than I ever dreamed of. And you don't have to see that, but as my friend I expect you to respect my decision to be with him and to respect Tom's opinions and decisions. Tom has made every effort to fit into my life. He's accepting my kids, he's awesome with them, he is accepting you. He's living in this house with me, in the house that I lived in with Peter. And he doesn't complain. It must be awkward for him, knowing that my ex has slept in the same bed, sat on the same chair. But he's not complaining. Tom is asking me every day how I am. And he is serious about that question. He has so much going on, but he makes the time every day to talk to me. He has a lot of money, Hannah, and that brings certain risks with it. I didn't see it in the beginning, but Tom is only protecting us, for a reason."