I sat in one of the hospital rooms away from the crisis area and everyone else.. I just need to think. The room is light blue, and calm. The white curtains let the sun shine through onto the bed. In the bed is a 99 year old woman, she's basically brain dead but her family hasn't came to take her off life support yet. She can't hear me, see me, or move for that matter.
I bite my pen looking down at the chart and where I need to sign. Little images of the little girl flash into my head.. God, I could have saved her. I could have. I should have! I'm a Doctor for Gods sake, I... WE should be saving people instead of letting them die like that. Why'd they stop working on her? Then all that blood on me and the elevator. What does Jacob think of me now?
I sigh in frustration and slam the chart closed rubbing my forehead hard. Why do I even care? We had a one night stand.. nothing more, nothing less.
He's way out of your league Lana. Get over it. And even if he wants you, you'll push him away.
I roll my eyes at my subconscious, putting my pen in my mouth. I really just want to go home, and eat ice cream and cry. That sounds great right about now. My stomach really hurts.. I need to eat something before I leave. I shake my head, opening the chart again then sign off on it. One down, 20 more to go..
•••
I head into the Residents room after putting all my charts by the Nurses desk. My day is finally over.. until I get called back again. I'm always on call. Never get a break. I walk over to my cubby and grab everything, leaving behind my name tag and coat.
I keep the scrubs on because my outfit from last night was a club outfit. It wasn't appropriate. I head out the room and go down the hospitals metal steps walking over to the door. My head stays down until I get outside. The sound of thunder and lightning, makes me lift my head towards the sky.
I don't have a fucking car, damnit. I grab my phone, pulling up the Uber app requesting a car. Fucking Uber. I'm not even sure I want to go home by myself.. After I put my phone away, it starts raining... hard. What did I do to deserve this today?
This is payback for having a one night stand. I stand in the rain, closing my eyes. It's somewhat peaceful. I sway from side to side, humming. Might as well take it in since I can't go back in that hospital today. I just can't for right now.. I horn honks. I turn around, thinking it's my Uber but then the person gets out the car. A person with an Afro. Not now..
Please? He runs over to me, looking down at me.
"Hey, you need a ride?" He asks over to the loud raindrops. I shake my head looking away. Yes I do. "No, I'm okay.. I called an Uber." I say back loudly. He nods then stands there while the rain hits us both then looks around. "My ride is free, ya know? No card, no money." He smiles a little shrugging.
I look at him for a second then look away again. "C'mon Lana.. You'd rather spend money using an Uber and be with some stranger than be with someone you know and not use any money?" He raises an eyebrow.
Rain slides down his face, dripping off his nose, mouth and chin. He looks so attractive in the night.. and in the day. I sigh, giving in and walking over to his car. He rushes beside me and opens the car door. I slide into his car, putting my seatbelt on. It's really nice in here and it smells like.. him.
I toss my hair up in a bun as he comes around and gets in the car quickly, putting his seatbelt on. He glances at me then grabs his phone.
"Where to?" He asks softly running his fingers through his hair. I look at him, shaking my head. "I'm not sure." He raises an eyebrow slowly looking back at me. "Your house? A friends house? It has to be somewhere." He says softly putting his phone back down. I glance out the window, sighing but I don't say anything. He gives me a small huff. "Alright, my house it is." And just like that, we're off
to his house..
