Never be the same (Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier)

Chapter 19

"She lived in a world full of hell and the only heaven she ever found was in your eyes."

After we had given them the mission report, leaving the part of me almost getting killed out, we were free to go back to our room and rest.

I was dreading the moment we got inside, because I knew he would want to talk about what happened and I on the other hand wanted to do nothing else than to have a shower, go to sleep and forget tonight ever happened.

As soon as the door clicked shut, he started, "Darkness?"

"I'm going to have a shower and then going to sleep." I said back coldly, not looking at him.

"No, we need to talk about tonight." he kept pushing.

"No, we do not." I said back before closing the bathroom door behind me.

I took my time while showering that night. Took time to get all the blood off of me, I could see it mixing with water and swirling down the drain. "You'll die as a monster, kid." his words kept ringing in my head.

"No!" was the first thing that came out of my mouth as soon as I exited the bathroom.

It didn't stop him from standing up from the bed and making his way over to me though, "Yes!"

"I said, I don't want to talk. There is nothing to talk about." I said while trying to find a way around him.

"And I said that we need to talk, so that's what we're gonna do." He said back forcefully, trapping me against the wall with both of his hands on either side of my body.

He looked down at me and I had no idea what to do. I hated when he used his height as an advantage over me. I always felt little next to him, but the position we were in now made me feel even worse. His breath kept fanning over my face as he was looking at me in anticipation, waiting for me to talk or to move. I didn't do either.

* * *

I was walking down the hall to get back to my room. I had just finished my shooting training and I got the rest of the day off for some reason that the guard didn't feel the need to explain to me.

"-I think they'll be leaving tonight," wait who? I tried to listen more carefully about whatever was being talked about.

"Are you sure?" the other voice said, but before I was able to listen any further I noticed the guard exiting the shooting range so I had to quickly move to not be seen eavesdropping.

The two men, who had just been talking, shut their mouths instantly as they noticed me coming, weird. This only made me more curious about what and who they were talking about though. Was it something about Soldier and I? I mean why were they acting so secretive now that I came.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Soldier who was waving his hand in front of my face, "You alright?"

"Uh, yeah, fine." I said shaking my head, noticing that I was already back in my room, though I had absolutely no idea how I got here. I had no memory of walking back here.

"You sure?" Soldier didn't look very convinced, "Did something happen during training?"

"What? Oh no, nothing happened. I was just thinking." I answered back truthfully.

"Oh yeah?" he raised his eyebrows at me and went to sit down on the bed, "About what?"

"Nothing important," I didn't really know if I should tell him what I had just heard. I wasn't even sure what or who the guards were talking about, so it was probably not that big of a deal. I was just overthinking it.