Never be the same (Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier)

Chapter 31

"It has been said, 'Time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." -Rose Kennedy

July 16:

Bucky had been bothering me since last night, when we came home from our shopping trip, that we need to bake cookies, which is what we were doing now. Well he was doing it mostly and I was sitting on the counter reading him the recipe and humming to the music that was playing from the radio.

He had gathered all of our ingredients and utensils on the kitchen counter and he was now mixing together butter and sugar.

"Okay, now you need to add eggs." I read.

He handed me the bowl as he went to fetch some eggs. Being the show off he is he seemed to feel the need to juggle the eggs he had in his hands. Smirking while he did it.

"You're gonna break them, stop!" I said and he let out a small laugh.

"Don't worry, I'm good with my hands," he winked and now it was my turn to let out a laugh.

"That was a terrible innuendo, Barnes."

"You loved it." He said and took the bowl from my hands again.

I rolled my eyes at that, "sure."

He shook his head and chuckled lightly as he started cracking the eggs to add them to the mix. I looked at him for a moment longer before getting stuck in my own thoughts once again. That was the way we were, laughing, crying, fighting, joking. We were bizarre, but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way.

I got snapped out of my thoughts by something hard hitting my head. The egg yolk was dripping down the side of my face and his laugh was the only thing I could hear at this moment. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, before grabbing the flour that was sat next to me on the counter and threw him with it, making most of his black clothes turn white.

Now it was my turn to laugh and his to look at me in disbelief. The smile on his face never left though, it only increased as he found another thing to dump on me, which turned out to be the sugar that we hadn't used. That was it, it was now a full on food fight between us.

In the end I have no idea how we ended up sitting on the floor with my left leg draped over his, us laughing our heads off, waiting for the cookies to be done baking. The whole kitchen looked like a war zone and we didn't look much better in the middle of it. What can I say, bizarre.

August 27:

Oh my god. Who am I? What have I done? What did I do?

Who the hell is the girl looking back at me from this now broken mirror? Why me? I could hear him behind the door shouting for me to let him in. He must have heard the mirror shattering.

"Adriana? Can you hear me?! Let me in!"

My hand was bleeding from smashing the mirror, but I couldn't even feel it. The only thing I was feeling was the battle inside me at the moment, the war that I had been trying so hard to win. Piece by piece I've been winning the battles, but the war never seems to finish. There is just so much still missing.

"Open the door Adriana!"

"But it feels safer with the door locked." I whispered to myself as I looked down.