Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

ii. Hiraeth

I woke up to the chirping of birds as the sun streamed into my room. I would say it is about nine, but usually I am awake soon after sunrise. I did not mind today though because I felt well-rested for once. Normally I do not feel as if I slept well at all, but something about last night must have been different, although I could not pinpoint what.

For two days I have managed to avoid Viserys and Daenerys, and I have enjoyed my time along. I read the Dance of the Dragons, which is a book written about their ancestors Rhaenyra and Aegon II. The war was real and Rhaenyra was named heir, but Aegon II was the first born son. It was fought over two years with both claimants dying, and Rhaenyra's son Aegon III being declared king. It was a bloody war and tore the realm apart.

Today I decided to take a walk through the gardens, so I was wearing a red and gray dress that had gold stripes with jewels on it. It was something that I had bought for myself back when I believed that if I dressed like nobility then I would be accepted into the courts and somehow actually become noble again. I was wrong, but I kept the dress just in case.

Once I had walked through the gardens and looked at all of the beautiful flowers, I decided to go and look at the ocean. It faced towards Westeros and I did not even need Illyrio to tell me that. I know what direction my home is, and I miss it every day. Sometimes it feels as if I have lost someone important. I did not even want to leave and I did not get to say my goodbyes.

Viserys was standing by the balcony that looked out to the sea, and I almost turned back around. I decided not to because I found solace in looking at the sea, thinking of how home was just out of reach. You could not see even part of Westeros because it was too far away, but just knowing it was there was enough.

Even though I wanted to stand by the sea, I did not wish to stand with Viserys. He was an angry man and wanted to know my family name, which would surely lead him to killing me in a fit of rage. My father was apart of his family's downfall, and I cannot imagine how losing everyone apart from your sister feels. I do not want to even think about having no one left.

Although I am an exile and have not seen my family in two years, I know they are still alive and well. I would not wish any harm upon them, not even my father who was the one who exiled me. I am lucky he did not have someone execute me for what he believed was my second crime. He was so disappointed in me, and that is enough punishment.

"We are facing Westeros," I informed Viserys, after a minute of silence. "It is strange to think that just beyond the horizon is home. Do you ever miss it? I know that I do."

"The Usurper and his dogs took my home from me and forced me to flee," Viserys said, his voice strangely broken. "I was just a boy, but I still remember what it was like there. I miss my mother more than I miss my home." As if there were some switch in Viserys' head, his demeanour changed. "Where are you from? You could not be from the Crownlands are I am sure I would know."

"The North," I answered, tensing up slightly. 

He would not like any Northerner, let alone a Stark, so I was preparing for the worst. Surprisingly, Viserys just nodded and looked down at the small beach below us. The waves were gentle today, still crashing into the sand but then caressing it after. The air smelt like the salt water and if the waves were to be even rougher than we would feel the salt spray up here.

The air between us was peaceful, and that was what I had been hoping for. I am not too good with conflict of any kind, but I can hold my own. Sometimes I cause conflict, whether I mean to or not. I am good enough with a dagger to take down a weaker opponent, and know how to use a sword although I do not have my own nor am I anywhere near good. I am good with words though. That is how I am still alive.