Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

xxxviii. Meetings

A/N: The guy at the top has the hairstyle I imagine Daemon has I just have no clue how to describe it. P.S. pretty please read the author's note at the end :)

I hated it here. The way I was sneered at and watched like some kind of strange creature made me feel disgusting. I have walked past numerous people commenting on my actions yesterday in the throne room and how they think I am some kind of savage. There have even been some people who have loudly said I should be dead like my family when I walked past.

To relieve my stress I was finally taking a bath. It was nice to just sit in the hot water and wash away all the dirt and mud and blood that caked my body. It was as if I was washing away all of my sins. I am going to create new ones, of course, but I can still try and wash away the current ones.

Once I was brought back to my chambers yesterday I just sat and cried. I was brought food, which I denied, and then went back to crying. The only time I stopped crying was to thank the serving girl who brought me my sword. However, I cried even harder seeing the fear in her eyes and the way she ran from my chambers despite my kindness.

Today I could not sit and cry, however. First I am seeing Tywin Lannister, then I have lunch with Olenna Tyrell, Sansa, and possibly a few Tyrell family members. Then I have some time to myself before having to go see Queen Consort Cersei Lannister.

As I got out of the bath I frowned at my clothing options. I had no choice but to wear a dress and none of them were my own. They were so elegantly designed and I knew they would fit well, but I felt uneasy about it. I am used to plain dresses or riding clothes so that I can keep my weapons with me.

I ended up choosing a silver dress with shiny lilac flowers on it. The outside of the dress was made of silk and I could not help but frown when thinking of the expense that went into making it. I do not need such expensive things. This money should be focused on helping the people of Kings Landing and those in the armies of Westeros.

Once I had braided my hair and slipped on some shoes, I decided to hide one dagger on my outer thigh and one up my left sleeve. I did not feel as if I had enough protection. I felt in danger without my sword and arakh, but there was nothing I could do. Perhaps if I behave then I can ask for new clothes.

Despite my bravado yesterday, I was more afraid to be here than I knew how to explain. I know that one wrong move will lead to my death. Everything I do must be carefully calculated and I am going to have to learn to quell my anger. I am no longer the top of the food chain, nor am I so low that I can do as I please. I am like a mouse being watched by a starving cat.

Lord Tywin Lannister was waiting for me in his solar. When I walked in I felt nothing but hatred towards the aging man. However, I was also surprised that despite his age, he stood so tall and had such a commanding presence. His blonde hair was turning white and his blue eyes watched me as if I was his prey.

"My lord," I muttered, taking a seat across from him at his desk. "May I ask, why have I been called here?"

"To speak about how you are going to behave," Lord Tywin answered. "You will keep your temper in check, treat everyone with respect, and if I so much as suspect you are going to make a treasonous move, I will have you executed. You are lucky to be alive, Lady Stark. I wanted you dead like the rest of your family."

"But Roose Bolton stopped you, correct?" I asked.

It was not hard to figure out. During the Red Wedding I heard Lord Bolton give the command to spare someone. I had assumed it was one of the serving girls, but then my life was spared when I should have been killed. Then yesterday Lord Tywin let on that Roose Bolton was the most likely person to advocate for my being spared.